CSN Login
Members Online: 5

You are here

very very depressed

Actsassy's picture
Actsassy
Posts: 37
Joined: Nov 2010

I am so depressed. I have an appt. with psychatrist on 1/18 but so far off. I am on zoloft 200 right now but doc thinks i flatlined on it cuz been so long on zoloft. As yoiu have read from my earlier post i am colon/liver and have had a few things going on my in my life these past few months. Wel, on Tuesday, I landed in the ER. I ran a temp of 101 Monday evening and had some diarhhea. Long story short of it no infection and after 8 hours got to come home. As I said earlier, my antigent test from early Nov. showed levels normal and no cancer growth. I cannot seem to stop the fear I have on me. Yesterday, i had a bad breakdown and i vented about how i hate this cancer and did lots of crying. Felt a bit better after releasing some of that but still depressed. In the last couple days now i have been haaving pain on my ride side and here i go thinking its my liver cancer and some pain in my pelvis region. Plus, you know when u have had a charlie horse in oiur leg and it still feels like you have it, that's how my calf feels. All i know is that i am a mess and cant crawl out.

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

oh hun i'm sorry to hear about everything that you have going on .hugs tina

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1078
Joined: Mar 2009

Hugss first of all, we all can relate to where you are coming from. From last year I'm a stage 3, 10/11 lymph nodes infected, touch wood still in remission. I suffered from depression so badly during my treatments, that it resulted in me suffering from panic and anxiety attacks. Everytime chemo would draw near I would panic, everytime I had bloods taken the same thing. No one really understood what I was going through, not even the man I was with. I could only relate to people on this board and they got me through it, I would say still are. I lost the man I was with, because he could not take the cancer or the depression, and that led to me going even more downhill, not proud of it but I took overdoses, I was that low.
My point is try and take each day as it comes, come to the board daily, even if you don't want to talk to just read about what's going on. Try and understand that you have to continue to live with this, until it's in remission. But that is easier said then done, when you think of the cancer effecting you the way it is. Try not let cancer run you, you are in charge! Counsolling can help also, also my religion helped also. I don't know if you have any good friends around you but try and get to talk to them, even if it's about trivial things. You just need to concentrate on yourself and not the cancer, again easier said then done.
Now a days for tests etcI still panic as it's natural to do, but I remember how everyone else on the board goes through the tests, if they can do it, so can I. Just worrying and waiting is the kicker but you have to try and divert your attention.

Please keep talking to us on the board if you can, we are all in this together and you might feel it but you are not alone.

Sonia

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

sass it is hard....it is sosoo hard.

first with physical symptoms...like pain on the right side. Sass I am 2 years out of my last liver resection and the right side is still sore. I don't like anyone to even lightly touch me there.....so just saying after cancer that pain remains and this does not mean more cancer for sure.

I agree with you about the meds....maybe you have flatlined on your anti-depressant so maybe time to look at a new drug.

something I do but sure would not work for everybody is I try to work backwards. Ok what is the very worst outcome I can think of for this situation....probably death so then I go back from there. what if the cancer comes back then more surgery....or chemo....can I do that? yes of course I can do that.....and so on and so forth....

getting out. being around people, exercising for sure....eating well....one day at a time. Little treats for yourself every day....how bout going out for a cup of coffee...

sorry darling just shouting out little ideas here. I do understand how you feel....immobilized, fearful, anxiety...at every turn. Sonia is right....a counsellor might be really helpful.

ok sweetie.....hang in stay in touch....thinking of you and sending heartfelt wished and hugs....

maggie

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

There are behavior specialists at most hospitals....call and tell the ER exactly what you posted in this post...

I am VERY worried now, dearheart.....probably not to do with the cancer, but with your depression.....

I learned from my very disabled daughter that there are mental hold facilities at most larger hospitals...if you need it, you can stay for up to 72 hours.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE seek help....NOW!!!!

Hugs, Kathi

dorookie
Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

It can cause physical side affects, I agree with Kathi you need to seek some help, no shame in it, been there and done that myself.

God Bless you
Beth

Actsassy's picture
Actsassy
Posts: 37
Joined: Nov 2010

I do see a therapist and she has beren heklpful but she can't do anything about the psychiatrist not being available until the 18th. it's the holidays and they are off and not working. I just have to try to be patient and strong. I will try to suggest if i can have them starting to ween me off the zoloft so by the time i go for an evaluation i'll be closer to trying something else.

I am a bit more okay today. Trying very hard to stay in the spirit of christmas and hoping seeing my baby great nephews will perk me up tonite. i loves those little munchkins so much! they always brighten my day!

I do have anxiety and panic attacks and i am living on my xanax. Not taking it as much as i should which i know is wrong but i almost feel like a drug addict with all the meds.

Thanks for the support and hugs. Much appreciated.

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6691
Joined: Feb 2009

Sorry you are so depressed. Having a cancer diagnosis puts most people in a tail spin. Wish you could get in sooner. Hoping that you can try and enjoy your Christmas.

Kim

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I hope brighter days are on their way.

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

This is Dr Phil.......well kinda. I had the same problem as you have now...Nothing worked, panic attacks, misery, whoa is me, depressed and no way out. There is a way out but that's not for me or you but thinking backwards is a good thing as Mags suggested. First off death is scary as hell, unless you have faith, but that's another post all in its own so lets stick to the topic. Depression. First, depression is an actual disease in itself. It starts as a sudden major eruption of catastrophic events or event happens in ones life, normally uncontrollable so the sense of helplessness or loss of control kicks in. There is suddenly nothing to be happy about, your world is crumbling in around you, your seratonin that makes you happy because of the endorphins it gives off has now been cut off because your brain has sent an electrical signal to your brains neuro-transmitters telling them to shutdown. So, there you have it, its simply a ceasing of a certain electrical signal produced by the brain (same twirps and blurps that get out of wack sometimes and cause things like epilepsy, seizure disorders etc., but brain "lightening bolts" if you will. Anyway, these neuro transmitters can be rebooted up to start up producing seratonin and good endorphins again simply by an antidepressant such as Zoloft, in your case though the dosage doesn't seem to be enough...I started with Florextine (generic prozac) 10 mg / day and went to 20 mg per day. The 20mg/day was the ticket. It was just enough to make me smile again and forget about being immortal and as the quote goes "You have to learn how to die before you learn how to live" (Quoted from an excerpt from "Tuesdays With Morrie" ). I am now off of everything and I just went to Stage 4 with a met to the lung...I had it removed and all margins were clear. I hardly think about cancer anymore. It is simply a pain in the ***,( my primary was colorectal) so the saying goes. I did an about face with cancer and with the help of medicine,faith, and my family at home as well as here. I have a favorite trashcan (plastic type) and every time I get real mad I take it out on the trash can, then Im ok again. You have 2 roads to travel, one that will lead you to talking and answering yourself, or one that leads you to fulfilling the life you gave up when you allowed cancer to start living it for you.
Now, I want you to quit telling yourself or thinking to yourself that your gonna die. Each time you say anything it is to be a positive verbal attribute to you. No more negative thinking , about anything. Start telling yourself how good you look before you go out shopping, or how great the body looks after a shower. Pamper yourself with oils and lotions and give yourself nothing but good things to look forward to.
Finally, ACT SASSY !!! Be good to yourself and treat yourself the way you should be treated, with respect and dignity. Besides, you didn't give yourself cancer, you just have so fine a body how could it resist not taking up residence in you. Now, you simply have to show it that you don't share your body or your time with anything that wants to take away from all you have to give...so the cancer and everything it stands for has got to go. So, take control back, and you and cancer have a heart to heart and when you finish there will be only one standing, you or cancer, and I got my money on you......Love, Hope, and Happiness again.......Buzz

Actsassy's picture
Actsassy
Posts: 37
Joined: Nov 2010

Buzz,

Thanks for the kind words. I have never felt so low in my life. I am anxiuously looking forward to getting different meds to help with this depression but it can't come soon enuf for me. I have spent my xmas morning opening gifts with my family and i am crying thinking i might not be here next year and it scares the crap out of me. And now having this pain in my pelvic area again and on my rt side of course im thinking my cancer. Positively thre anxiety is it's own devil to. I am hoping that my mind is just making me have these pains cuz i'm oncentrating on the cancer so much and i am making them hurt. I wasn't like this last year when all this happened. I am worse now than I ever was last year. I stupidly thought when lesions fell alseep they were gone. Denial on my part. The waking up of the lersions did a number on me and now i feel i can't trust in my body or in the dx doc tell me. I am scared to have m ct scan on Tuesday. Even though results of antigen says levels are normal and no signs of cancer growth ....why can't i let that make me happy? I don't trust it. I pray and pray and pray for hope, healing, peace and strength.

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

I did!

Mad at cancer. Mad that it was stealing my life away. Mad that it terrorizes so many, including ME!

I don't like to lose, so, with each and every obstacle placed in my way (My treatment left me lactose intollerant, I started eating non-dairy....my left hip is practically useless, I rely on my right and 'help' my left leg into the car....the Tamoxifen for my breast cancer puts on weight, I walk at least a mile every day....etc), I find a way to win the fight...

I also found things to laugh about. At first it was VERY hard, nothing funny about this mess. But, I sought out guaranteed laughers...Faulty Towers (John Cleese and his bunch), MASH, any and all Mel Brooks movies. It started to get easier to laugh...

AND I let the future take care of itself. I don't worry unless there is something I can do about it...then, I fix it. I know what I will die from. So what???? In the mean time, I have fought too hard, 2 primary site cancers in one year, to not live life large while I can!!!!

BIG hugs to you, dear soul...

Hugs, Kathi

Lori-S's picture
Lori-S
Posts: 1286
Joined: Sep 2010

I hope you are feeling better soon. Best wishes and hugs to you

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

my family and friends were singing abba songs and I was sitting up the back of the room on a massage chair. which was excellent and relaxing. it was a lovelly scene. I also just had this thought as if I was not there, that I was watching the scene from heaven or space.

That my kids and wife, family and friends would still have our warm and wonderful xmas party days and nights whether I was around or not. I felt strangely glad that I was redundant in a sense that I am apart of a lovelly extended and rich family environment. That fun, laughter and song will just go on and on and on. Somehow I came back to the room and sang so bad that everyone else felt like they were all the best singers.

its strange that I don't feel worried about dieing someday ( not to soon I hope )
I just see joy and love all around me and it keeps the nasty thoughts away.

I hope your prayers and mine are answered for us all. I especially believe PEACE is what we all need in very large quantities. Make PEACE and relaxation your top priority and then healing and strength will follow.

Prayers, Pete

johnom's picture
johnom
Posts: 86
Joined: Jul 2004

I was Stage II (b), did chemo, radiation and surgery it took me 4 years to recover from. Then when I should have been rejoicing, I was drinking a cup of coffee one morning and relaxing when I suffered what turned out to be an extremely rare stroke in my spinal cord. I was reduced to a diaper and a walker with paralysis in my left hand and right leg within the space of 48 hours. Over 2 and 1/2 years later I am back to looking normal again, but I have a lot of physical limitations that could be much worse, yet are really bothersome and painful. Of course, I didn't think this was fair at all...
The point is, that's why they call you and me and all of us here "survivors." We are now stronger and the next random attack on our systems will not conquer us either. If you do look at yourself today, actually you are much stronger than a year ago when you were assessing your situation. I am confident you will be able to see how much care and support surrounds you, and how much strength you really have inside of you, if you look at today and all the messages on this board.
Hang in there and search for a better feeling of peace and health. We are all araid with you and for you, but we know you are winning the fight and that you will see that soon.

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Hey Sassy... I'm Cheryl and I don't think we've met before. I come and go and each time I think I'm going to hang around for a bit, I'm off and running again because I get all involved in a theatre production or mundane things like thinking I'll get caught up on laundry and household chores ;)

Your posts caught my eye for a couple of reasons. 1) I know this probably sounds really weird coming from a complete stranger, but has anyone ever told you how gorgeous/cute you are? Your picture is absolutely adorable with that killer smile of yours! I have no idea how old you are, Missy , but I can see just from the sparkle in your smile and in your eyes, you are full of health and vigor, so you have it in you to keep this monster at bay... don't ever give up on yourself :) 2) Depression. Another, "Has anyone ever told you..." that depression sucks and yet it is probably one of the most common side affects. Not of cancer per se, but of all the treatments, doctors appts., trials, this treatment isn't working so let's try this one, etc. etc. If you DIDN'T get depressed, then I'm afraid to say your diagnosis is that you are not human. Right now, you are probably thinking that you are more depressed than anyone else... everyone you read here on this forum all sounds like they are doing so well, dealing with their disease, living their lives as best they can and don't really have any depression... at least, not as bad as yours. Well, that's not necessarily true. I bet dollars to donuts (where the heck did that saying come from anyways??) that we all have been devastated and terrified and feeling the panic and anxiety that you are going through right now... and have felt it more than once or twice!

It can hit when we least expect it. Sometimes it will come and go fairly quickly, other times it will hang around for a lot longer than we want it to and it begins to affect everything we do in life... or maybe causes us not to do the things we enjoy because the fear/terror/panic/anxiety interfere with us being able to enjoy anything. When you are feeling this way and it doesn't leave in a couple of hours, then that's your cue that yep, some helpful interference is needed. Like you say, 1/18 is too far to be waiting when you are experiencing the fears now. Now I'm not sure whereabouts you are, and I know you said you are seeing a therapist, it's the psychiatrist who can prescribe new meds that you have to wait so long for... but what about your GP or family doctor? They also can prescribe meds and even though it may take some playing around with types of meds and then actual dosages... your GP could probably get the ball rolling and get you started on something that will help until Jan 18th when the psychiatrist can take over. Why not give your GP a call and tell him/her that you need help now.

I know I have my moments where, like everyone else here, I get scared. I'm not ready to die. I don't want to die. So when I actually focus on "I have cancer and it is not necessarily going to go away", then every ache and pain that comes up I start thinking "Oh oh... is that an ache or normal pain or is that MORE cancer?", it can freak me out and depress me that there is no just getting rid of it and the thoughts of cancer. But that's when I am pretty lucky in that I can go talk to my GP and tell him I'm getting a little anxious... and he gives me a pep talk. His philosophy is... as long as there are still treatments to be had then the cancer doesn't have the upper hand. It's possible that for me, cancer is going to be a chronic condition that I am just going to have to keep up with the meds/treatments and keep it under control. Is cancer going to kill me? Maybe... but then it's just as possible that I might have a heart attack, or a stroke, or be in a car accident, or go swimming and have an accident and drown. All of these other potential causes of death are not things I dwell on or depress me, even though they are just as possible for me to be deadly as cancer is. If my cancer had not been detected when it was, then definitely, it would have killed me... but it didn't and I (and all of us) are still here to show that it hasn't gotten us yet.

So, easy as it is to say, chin up... pip, pip, cheerio... once depression has gotten a hold, then it is quite probably that you won't be able to shake it without some medical help. You know you are going to get it and if 1/18 is too long to wait, then a trip to your GP might be a good temporary measure. And stay in touch with all of us here because we are your friends who have not only felt the depression you are feeling, but have had it for the same reasons you have.

Cheryl

Actsassy's picture
Actsassy
Posts: 37
Joined: Nov 2010

Hi Cheryl,

Thanks for the kind and heartfelt words. They do mean so much to me. Yes, I am scared to death. Yes, depression has taken over where i don't enjoy doing anything. That IS NOT me! I'm not saying that' I'm always hustling and bustling but i do go and do things and my oulook has been mostly positive. Just this time with all that has t ranspired I cannot seem to get past my "what ifs" and when is the next shoe gonna drop. I am 52 years old and hubby is 62. I live in Michigan and I am being treated at the Karmanos Center. I have a great PA and oncologist. They have been very good. My PA especially doesn't pull any punches. Very straightforward. She told my antigen tests came back with normal levels and no signs of cancer growth. That is excellent news, right? I can't believe and trust in it for some reason. Why? I don't understand it.
I am taking my xananx pretty much steady everyday as prescribed to try to keep me level with anxiety but isn't helping a lot with depression. Something has to kick in!
Thanks for all the support from everyone on here. Any words of wisdom and advice is greatly welcomed.

Hugs to all,
Angie

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Angie,

I was hesitant to write because I really don't have any wonderful words of advice- I wish I did. But I just want you to know that I am thinking of you and praying for you. If you have a faith in God, I'd be happy to talk with you more on that through a PM (private message). Let me know. :) I believe there is "hope for the hopeless". In my situation, I'm the one with the cancer and I'm doing pretty well mentally and emotionally- it's the rest of my family that has the depression (and had prior to my cancer diagnosis)- my husband and three kids. It's tough because I wish I knew how to be better at helping to pull them up and out of it. All I can say, Angie, is that I'm glad to read that you know "this isn't you" and that something is affecting you and is making you feel this way. Keep fighting it and remind yourself to try hard to remember this "isn't you". I'm so very sorry you have to wait so long for an appt w/ your psych. I know that frustration when I try to make appts with the psych for my kids and I'm told the next avail appt is a month away- maddening & our insurance only allows us to go to that one place. So, keep hanging on. One idea, however, is to call the psych office and tell them to put you on their cancellation list- if anyone cancels their appt, to call you right away so you can possibly come in sooner.
Keep coming back here and let us know how you are & never feel like you are a burden to anyone here or anywhere. YOU MATTER!

Hugs,
Lisa

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Being "scared to death", believe it or not, is not uncommon at all. It's paralyzing, but it's not uncommon. Mostly because, we have all grown up with "Cancer = Death". And, as much as our intellect knows that there are thousands upon thousands of positive outcomes after treatment, the ones we dwell on are the ones that don't make it... until we believe there are more deaths than survivals.

Now, you mentioned that your "antigen tests" came back with normal levels and no sign of cancer growth. I've never heard of antigen tests being done for cancer. Aren't antigen tests used to determine bacteria/infection, etc.? Or are you confusing this term with blood tests that you had done? A common blood test that is done for our type of cancer is called a "tumour marker" which is reading the level of CEA in one's blood stream. This is just one diagnostic tool that oncologists use to monitor us and some people it is not a good one or very reliable, whereas with others it works great. Simplistically, if you have colorectal cancer in your body, your CEA level will rise. If it is under control, or has been removed, your CEA level drops. Whether your CEA is high or low is not what's important... it's the trend of whether it is going up, going down, or remaining the same. So if your PA was saying your tests were with normal levels and no signs of cancer growth, this "sounds" to me like she was talking your CEA levels. I'm not sure where the antigen tests would play into this.

But, whatever test she was talking about, if she said there are no signs of cancer growth then of course this is good news... and that alone should help ease the anxiety. It's a long, long road we have to walk once diagnosed with cancer and we really don't need to be wasting our energy on freaking out... because it DOES take a lot of energy and then we end up exhausted, when the bottom line is, we are still here and for the most part, are all doing fine We can still get out and about and do the things we enjoy doing

So, don't beat yourself up for being depressed and scared. Like Lisa said, it's good that you can recognize that this isn't the normal "you"... and you want your normal self to come back. Your normal self can actually work through all of this... the panicky, anxious self, just makes things worse and doesn't help with anything. Know that when you do see the psych, chances are they will find a med that is going to help. In the meantime, get out and enjoy some of the things you used to enjoy doing. When you feel that depression/anxiety come on, greet it face on, acknowledge it, tell it that you understand why it's here but that you are going to put it on a shelf for now because you have things you need to do without it.

It will get easier, I promise. And if you read through a lot of these topics, you will see that people here are going through all kinds of treatments, side affects, no side affects, good times, down times, but the main thing is everyone is alive and posting. For the amount of people who are posting, there are 4-5 times as many who are just reading but are in the same predicament as all of us. And then there are all of those out there who don't know about this board - if they all came here, we'd have that many more people who would find we all have so much in common. Yes, we are going to lose some, that's a given with any disease. But cancer is not an automatic death sentence like it once was. If 10% of the people here end up dying because of their cancer, that means you have a 9 in 10 chance of surviving. You have a 1 in 10 chance of dying. So why focus on the 1 in 10 when you have a good chance of being one of the 9 in 10?? :)

Cheryl

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Hey Angie,
Cheryl hit on some great points, she always does. It sound like you keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward, that is good. You asked for suggestions. In addition to the therapy, meds and keeping in touch here, I recommend exercise. Any moving that you can do is bound to help. I know it is cold right now but is there a YMCA close by?

aloha,
Kathleen

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

repeat

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

I bet if you call your insurance carrier they will find a doctor that you can see sooner. Give it a try. They may even allow you to go our of network and cover it as in network. Don't give up on you and don't give up on insurance, they are liable too.

Keep going, one foot in front of the other gets you through anything. I know!

Where do you live?

Actsassy's picture
Actsassy
Posts: 37
Joined: Nov 2010

Just wanted to let you all know that yesterday afternoon my PA called me. She callkekd t wish me a Happy New Year and to tell me that my lesions shrunk by 1/2!! She knew how I've been all worked up and she wanted me to enjoy my new year. I am so very happy that they are shrinking! I'm still a little shell shcoked and still edgy but I do feel a whole heck of a lot better.

Thanks to all of you!

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

Yay! Congratulation's on that good news!

Gail

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

I hope you celebrate the new year in style.
The beginning of another year. I just cannot believe it.
best wishes
Pete

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Now that kind of news far outweighs drugs of any sort :) Give me that kind of news every time I feel down or out of sorts, and I think I could work my way out of any kind of funk :D

I am soooo happy for you! Still, follow up with your therapist/psych/PA about the depression thing because it can strike when you least expect it and it's always good to do some preventative stuff for it (you didn't happen to mention to your PA that you were going through this depression over Christmas did you?)

And I agree with Kathleen... any kind of physical movement... be it going out for a walk in the chilly weather, or hitting a gym, going to an indoor pool for a swim or Aquafit, any of that is definitely a mood swinger :)

Congrats on your good news! I'm so happy for you!!

Cheryl

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Now that kind of news far outweighs drugs of any sort :) Give me that kind of news every time I feel down or out of sorts, and I think I could work my way out of any kind of funk :D

I am soooo happy for you! Still, follow up with your therapist/psych/PA about the depression thing because it can strike when you least expect it and it's always good to do some preventative stuff for it (you didn't happen to mention to your PA that you were going through this depression over Christmas did you?)

And I agree with Kathleen... any kind of physical movement... be it going out for a walk in the chilly weather, or hitting a gym, going to an indoor pool for a swim or Aquafit, any of that is definitely a mood swinger :)

Congrats on your good news! I'm so happy for you!!

Cheryl

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Now that kind of news far outweighs drugs of any sort :) Give me that kind of news every time I feel down or out of sorts, and I think I could work my way out of any kind of funk :D

I am soooo happy for you! Still, follow up with your therapist/psych/PA about the depression thing because it can strike when you least expect it and it's always good to do some preventative stuff for it (you didn't happen to mention to your PA that you were going through this depression over Christmas did you?)

And I agree with Kathleen... any kind of physical movement... be it going out for a walk in the chilly weather, or hitting a gym, going to an indoor pool for a swim or Aquafit, any of that is definitely a mood swinger :)

Congrats on your good news! I'm so happy for you!!

Cheryl

Actsassy's picture
Actsassy
Posts: 37
Joined: Nov 2010

my pa does know that i have been a mess emotionally with anxiety and depression. She is aware of my seeing a therapist and working with pscyh for new anti depressant. She won't prescribe something because she is not familiar with those drugs. she said it's like therapist prescribing cancer drugs. so i can't blame her. i am so glad but i still am shaky and just out of sorts. still feel wired and scared to trust good news. why is that? everything good right? i can't seem to absorb and enjoy it. but i am gonna get it a heck of a try!

CherylHutch's picture
CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Ok... part of that could be the difference in the medical systems between Canada and the US, so just take some of my suggestions with grain of salt ;) Up here, psychiatrists can/do prescribe medication, whereas therapists can have counselling sessions but can't prescribe medication. GPs (General Practicitioners or family doctors) which I was assuming are the equivalent of your PAs, can also prescribe medications. They will also have mini-counselling sessions to determine what would be the best resource to refer you to (psychiatrist, therapist, specialist, etc) and can also put you on medication to tide you over until you see who you need to see. So that is why I was suggesting that maybe your PA could prescribe something to you since you have such a long wait to see a psychiatrist. There seems to be a missing piece here because if someone is in a crisis situation, where/who do they turn to if they have to wait 3 weeks or more for an appt?

Yes... the results that your PA called you with are GREAT!! That is what we all hope to have... shrink those puppies down so that they can then be managed... whether by surgery or medication. Of course, even if you know this, that won't automatically switch the depression off and on... that comes from chemical balances, etc. So, even if you still feel shaky and out of sorts, just give yourself some slack and say, "This too will pass... and meanwhile, this news that I'm not getting really excited about is actually really good news!) :)

Cheryl

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

I hope today you are feeling even a little bit better and I'm so sorry you're going through all the emotional stuff you are. Everyone gave such great advice and thoughts, all I am going to do is agree. Prayers and hugs to you!

Gail

Subscribe to Comments for "very very depressed"