Scan Results in - Trial over

chicoturner
chicoturner Member Posts: 282
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi everyone. Very discouraged as my scans showed new growth in my lungs and what was there pretty much doubled in size. I had the advantage of getting the scans - DVD and written report to hand carry to SF, so of course I read it. I was glad I did, it allowed me to be in better emotional control. Anyway, my labs, eco and ekg all came back good, so it looks like we will get a new plan in the works. The research team is sending me back to the medical side for some new trials, it sounds like and they are reconnecting me with my local onc for pain control. I feel better knowing I have him back in my corner. They feel there are more trials for me and were encouraging. However, I do have a new large blob on my lung that they are not sure of. I personally think it is pnemoia (sorry about spelling). My chest and back hurt a lot (thus the pain management plan). I have started antibiotics and really think that will be a large part of it. We will see! I won't see a doc in SF until Dec 28, need a break and time for antibiotic to work, plus we want to go see our kids during the holidays. Good time for a break. It's hard to be real up right now, and I am feeling pretty emotional and tired. I try to be possitive, but sometimes just want to scream that I give!! Not for long though! I can't say that to my family, they get crazy, so I have a couple of friends I can cry to. I'm trying to move forward with Christmas and enjoy it, if not, what is the purpose of this crazy fight! Well now I've ranted and raved at all of you, please forgive--- I will talk with you later. Best to you. Jean

Comments

  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    No forgiveness necessary
    Dear Jean,

    So very sorry that you have gotten this discouraging news, particularly here at the holidays.

    Not sure where you live, but sounds like you could use some 'nature' time. Perhaps one of those special friends could take you on a day trip to the mountains, the country, some place where you can hear the quiet. When you get there, find a nice place to just let it all go...the screams, the tears, etc. Once all that is done, spend a little more time there soaking up the strenght you need to carry on the fight.

    Hugs.

    Marie who loves kitties
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    So sorry
    Oh, Jean.

    You don't need to apologize to us for anything! Of course you're upset and discouraged! I'm sorry you got this news, and I just pray that a clinical trial will come along that will help you tremendously.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Lori-S
    Lori-S Member Posts: 1,277
    Jean
    Shoot! So sorry that you didn't get a better response from this trial. I totally understand the sometimes wanting to scream and give up. It's ok to say that here. HUGS.

    The fact that they say you are eligible for more trials is a good thing. I was so glad that you got accepted there in SF. I will be hoping that those antibiotic take care of the lung pains. Enjoy the holidays.
  • sharpy102
    sharpy102 Member Posts: 368
    !
    Dear Jean,

    Don't ever think you are bothering us, or anything because of your "rantings and ravings". They are human feelings...and no matter how hard we fight against them, sometimes they break out and then they hit us hard. We all do it. I personally do it a lot, although I don't even have any cancer at all. And yet, I come up here and complain. But these people are in the same shoe as you are, and they understand it totally. And I also understand it totally...sometimes we get tired of fighting, then we go downhill and right when we feel nothing worth anything anymore, and right before we hit "DANG" the bottom, we stand up, dust ourselves us and say "okay. Let's do this!" and we are back to our old fighting self. It happens with all of us! And the best thing out of this: so many people are here on this board, and everybody has their down moments different times, and you'll always find someone who is in their "up" moment when you're in your "down" moment, and he/she will bring you back up...and when you reach the top, they are down and you are the one who is dragging them up. It all works out...for all of us! Don't think about the results right now, just enjoy this short time you'll have with your family. Plus, try to look at the bright side of it: you only got one blob at the moment...it could've been worse such as they say "I'm sorry, it didn't work, you have 2 months left, no chemo needed anymore". At least, you're still in the spin-wheel! :)
    Happy Holidays to you and your family,
    Sophie
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624
    Jean
    After my surgeries for my other cancers, then we'll look in depth at my possible lung cancer.
    You're my pioneer, I have faith all will end up well with you..
    So for right now, take the time to sit back and enjoy this Christmas Season. I'll be thinking of you on Christmas Day.
    Winter Marie
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    Jean
    Jean,
    I'm sending my love and prayers across the ocean to you. I am so sorry things started growing again. It sounds like you have a great team of docs. I hope they get the pain under control soon. I will pray that you can enjoy the holidays with your kids.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • Crow71
    Crow71 Member Posts: 679
    Sorry about the ****ing
    Sorry about the **** shitty scans. I know the feeling.

    I'm glad you have friends to cry to. It's crazy,but you are right Jean - there is so much we can't say to our family. So scream and move on.
    I hope you find lots of Christmas joy.

    much love,

    Roger
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625
    Jean
    Hi Jean,

    I'm sorry about the crappy outcome of this clinical trial. Reaching out to give you a big warm cyberhug)) I wish I could take away for you the feeling that you must have felt when you first read the scan report. I am glad, though, to hear the team you're working with still seems positive that there are other trials out there for you. But- man, oh, man- I know this is lousy and scary for you.
    I'm thinking of and praying for you, my dear that there's still something that will give those tumors the one-two punch!

    Hugs and prayers,
    Lisa
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673
    Jean
    I am sorry for these results; I can understand how disappointed you would be. It sounds like you have a great team working with you, + plans are quickly coming into place for the next step. There is absolutley no reason for forgiveness; I hardly spotted a rant or rave in there!
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,715 Member
    Sorry
    Sorry your current treatment didn't work. Hoping that the new trials will be better working for you and shrink those tumors. Antibiotics should help if you have any pneumonia.

    Kim
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331

    Sorry
    Sorry your current treatment didn't work. Hoping that the new trials will be better working for you and shrink those tumors. Antibiotics should help if you have any pneumonia.

    Kim

    Hi Jean ,feel so sorry for the News!
    I hope and pray for the success of a new trial!
  • newperson
    newperson Member Posts: 76
    Hugs to you, Jean
    Dear Jean, I'm so sorry that you got discourage result from the trial. The good thing is you have a great team and a new plan is on the way. I hope you will be enjoying the holidays with your kids, then get ready to fight the beast again. You may want to look into clinical trials at Stanford as well. Dr. Fisher has some phase 2 trials there. Check out the website at http://med.stanford.edu/profiles/oncology/researcher/George_Fisher/
    Take care. Best wishes to you. - Lucy
  • luv3jay
    luv3jay Member Posts: 533
    Jean, I'm sorry to hear
    Jean, I'm sorry to hear about those results. I am glad they are thinking there are more trials out there for you. You are in my prayers now...hope you are able to see past this and enjoy the holiday with your family.

    -Sheri
  • Luv2lunch
    Luv2lunch Member Posts: 270
    Jean,
    We are so sorry about

    Jean,
    We are so sorry about the news. Please try and enjoy the holidays with your family. We will be praying for you.
    Linda and Ellie