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webozo
webozo Member Posts: 82 Member
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
i hope i have a problem that no one has delted with before. my grandson was getting on the school bus this morning and gett teased because his mommy is funny looking. no hair and funny looking skin. his has been dealing with alot in his little life, and to have to at 7 deal with stupidity too. has anyone had this happen and how do you deal with it. the school says kids will be kids but that dose not help my grandson

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  • Pennymac02
    Pennymac02 Member Posts: 332 Member
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    Show and Tell
    Can you ask the teacher if you can come into the class and explain how sick your grandsons Mommy is? If a couple of his classmates understand the basics of why his mom looks the way she does, they will spread the acceptance to the other children. It may not fix the problem, but at least he will know that some of his friend know whats going on.
    Penny
  • HeartofSoul
    HeartofSoul Member Posts: 729 Member
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    Show and Tell
    Can you ask the teacher if you can come into the class and explain how sick your grandsons Mommy is? If a couple of his classmates understand the basics of why his mom looks the way she does, they will spread the acceptance to the other children. It may not fix the problem, but at least he will know that some of his friend know whats going on.
    Penny

    Webzo, from what i remember
    Webzo, from what i remember and most recent update i had, Jackie (your daughter) has made a remarkable recovery from Hodgkins Lymphoma and is in remisison right. If Jackie can show the class at sons school how well she is doing, they will see what a courageous and great example your grandsons' mommy is.
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
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    not sure
    What your administrator's reaction would be at the school but this is an excellent teaching opportunity in the area of compassion. The principal at my now-grown children's elementary school took these as learning/teaching moments for the students en masse when possible and, if not, then in the classroom.

    No one was referenced and if the children knew which individual was specifically being discussed, I never knew it and I was a full-time, very involved substitute teacher.

    Bring cupcakes, have a talk and teach the children from this. Everyone can grow in this area, including other parents/teachers with a fear of cancer.

    Hugs to your grandson.
  • DrMary
    DrMary Member Posts: 531 Member
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    not sure
    What your administrator's reaction would be at the school but this is an excellent teaching opportunity in the area of compassion. The principal at my now-grown children's elementary school took these as learning/teaching moments for the students en masse when possible and, if not, then in the classroom.

    No one was referenced and if the children knew which individual was specifically being discussed, I never knew it and I was a full-time, very involved substitute teacher.

    Bring cupcakes, have a talk and teach the children from this. Everyone can grow in this area, including other parents/teachers with a fear of cancer.

    Hugs to your grandson.

    How to Get Them on Board
    In defense of principals, etc., they are not allowed to discuss other students with parents; they might indeed plan on talking to these kids (and their parents) but they are not really allowed to tell you more than "we are looking into this."

    I'd consider some two possible approaches. Do you know who the kids are? Can you talk to their parents? My mother did this when she saw neighborhood kids making fun of my father (he'd just had brain surgery for terminal cancer). The ring-leader's mother sent him over to apologize and my mother invited him in for cookies with my father - they discussed what he had been through. I think the kid was truly sorry - in any case, he stopped it (and he stopped others from doing it).

    It might be time to see if the local paper would like to do an article about your daughter's struggle. They might also want to talk to your grandson. That positive bit of press might also raise some awareness with school administrators and neighbors.

    Every kid learns sooner or later that such teasing comes from low self-esteem, lack of experience and fear. Try to remind your grandson of this - it won't make it easier now, but might help him deal with it later.
  • webozo
    webozo Member Posts: 82 Member
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    kids
    thankyou all for your imput some really good ideas out there i am glad again i came to you all for advice. my jackie is doing really good they had to put her back on boosting meds i don't know for sure what they are but she is getting sick from them. i agree with all of you that these children are not to be punnished. they just don't know and i am sorry that they have to learn about this now. jackies is going to the school monday, she and the nurse are going to guest speakers at a season of joy assembly. she is looking forward to it amd my grand son thinks his mommy is a big shot now, he had to call me and tell me she was going to speak to the whole school. i had to stop being mad long enough to talk to the nurse. i used strong words and that was wrong children are never stupid they are just children. again thank you all. and by the way if i don't get a chance to everyone have a wonderful holiday season be safe and blessings to you all.
  • DrMary
    DrMary Member Posts: 531 Member
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    webozo said:

    kids
    thankyou all for your imput some really good ideas out there i am glad again i came to you all for advice. my jackie is doing really good they had to put her back on boosting meds i don't know for sure what they are but she is getting sick from them. i agree with all of you that these children are not to be punnished. they just don't know and i am sorry that they have to learn about this now. jackies is going to the school monday, she and the nurse are going to guest speakers at a season of joy assembly. she is looking forward to it amd my grand son thinks his mommy is a big shot now, he had to call me and tell me she was going to speak to the whole school. i had to stop being mad long enough to talk to the nurse. i used strong words and that was wrong children are never stupid they are just children. again thank you all. and by the way if i don't get a chance to everyone have a wonderful holiday season be safe and blessings to you all.

    A good heart
    You have a good heart - it is hard to be so understanding sometimes. Another important lesson for kids is that sometimes adults say things they wish they had not - I always try to apologize to one of my students when I find I did this. It is sad that they are often amazed to hear an adult apologizing - but it is also heart-warming to find that they appreciate the recognition.

    You might not know it, but one of those kids might remember all of this someday and it will have changed his life. He/she might decide to enter a health field, or become a researcher to help fight cancer or even just have to fight a similar battle and remember you and draw strength from it.

    Best wishes to you and your family for a good holiday.