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My dearest Mom

madhura
Posts: 21
Joined: Aug 2010

To June and others who supported me:

I wanted to inform everyone that I lost my mom on Sept 26. Grief of losing a mother and at a relatively young age is the most terrible thing.
She was a real fighter. Even if the doctor had recommended chemo when she was in the last and worst stage, she would have happily gone for it.

She had the most aggressive decease - Diagnosed in late May, had hysterectomy on June 2 (and it was stage 1A), chemo decision was to be taken after 3 weeks, but it spread in the lungs within 10 days of surgery. After 3 cycles of chemo, lungs were almost clear - we were relieved. However within 3 weeks she developed ascites, and within 3 more days she deteriorated and doctors said we cannot do anything further, as the cancer had obstructed her abdomen.

It was extremely shocking for us (more for me as I am the only child). She suffered a lot, especially in her last month (lot of aches and breathlessness which doctors said at the time were due to general & chemo weakness as the scan was very recent). After we took her to the hospital on Sept 22, I had never ever imagined that she would not return home.

I somewhat compromised with the situation and prayed that she should come home only if it's for a few days, and live a normal life, i.e., watch TV, read and play with my little daughter. But that did not happen.

I feed extremely sad for my 18 month little daughter, even if it's more than a month, there is not a single day when she does not remember her granny fondly.

Never once in her suffering did she talk about giving up, or about death. She was positive till the last minute. According to me that is a real win. Being a doctor herself, she definitely knew what was coming (even if I did not).

She was a single mother (lost my father when I was young) but she has loved me more than both parents would, given me all the right values and the best possible upbringing. I am very proud of her.

Even though I have lost her, I know that her teachings and upbringing will continue to guide me throughout my life and she will shower her love on me one way or the other.

Sorry for informing so late, but I could not get myself to type.
I want to thank everyone on the board for their continued guidance and sharing their experiences and for their prayers.

Last but not the least, I will be praying for everyone on the board for a quick recovery and to remain in remission forever.

Madhura

lindaprocopio's picture
lindaprocopio
Posts: 2022
Joined: Oct 2008

You poor thing. I can 'hear' your fresh grief in your post. You have my profound sympathy. Love never dies. Try to be open to feeling your mother's love around you as you use her things or things she gave you, and as you make the dishes she made and uphold the traditions she upheld. I feel my mother's love when I do these things and one day you will smile in remembrance of her instead of cry. As I re-create my mother's Thanksgiving dinner, and set out her cranberry server on my dinner table, I always feel the powerful connection with her that remains although she has been gone from me a long long time. My mother always cut a pumpkin pie for breakfast early early Thanksgiving morning that we'd eat as we got the turkey ready for the oven, and my grandchildren look forward to doing that now with me and I believe one day they will do that with their own children. And so my mother's love lives on and on and on.

Kaleena's picture
Kaleena
Posts: 2064
Joined: Nov 2009

Madhura:

Words cannot express what one feels when losing a loved one. I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers to you and your family at this time of sorrow. Sending you hugs.

Kathy

nempark
Posts: 683
Joined: Apr 2010

Oh! Madhura, I read your post and was in shock and in tears. My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your daughter. I am from a large family and I have experienced many deaths, I hope this will be of some comfort to you, the pain does go away. Our Great God has given us the will to be able to endure and move ahead. Mom is asleep in death and according to the scriptures you will see mom again. Here is a Scripture that I hope will give even more comfort it is found in Revelation 21: 3, 4 this was written by the Apostle John, "With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say, "Look The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his peoples. And God himself will be with them. And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore, The former things have passed away". So this is a promise that God has given us that in his time death will be no more. Madhura, it's okay to grieve, I feel for you. May God be with you at this time and help you to endure. My love and best wishes to you and your little girl. June

Always Hopeful
Posts: 234
Joined: May 2010

My deepest sympathies to you and your little. My prayers to you for strength during this time.

Peace and hope, JJ

daisy366's picture
daisy366
Posts: 1493
Joined: Mar 2009

I'm so sorry for your profound loss. "All mothers die too young" echoes in my mind. May you continue to celebrate and honor her as you are doing and may you find find peace.

God bless you and your family. Mary Ann

patsplace
Posts: 14
Joined: Nov 2010

So sorry to hear of your loss. My daughter is 34 and has become my best friend and advocate through this; I know it is as hard for her as it is for me. Breathe deep and know she is no longer suffering; just as your sadness will eventually pass.

kkstef's picture
kkstef
Posts: 706
Joined: May 2008

Madhura, I am so sorry to hear about your loss! I know that your Mom will always be an important part of your life as she guides you on your life's journey. Your wonderful memories will hopefully ease the pain.

Please know that I am holding in my thoughts and prayers. The loss of a Mother is so very difficult!

Peace and healing to you!

Karen

TiggersDoBounce's picture
TiggersDoBounce
Posts: 413
Joined: Oct 2009

Madhura,

Sending hugs and prayers your way...

May the special bond be your source of comfort....she taught you well and filled you up with many things...may her legacy live on in you.

I know how sad you are now....keep her memory alive for your daughter....

Hang in...Laurie

Songflower's picture
Songflower
Posts: 631
Joined: Apr 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. Write down stories she told you during your life time and save it for your daughter. Her love will wrap around you as you remember her.

peace and love,
Diane

madhura
Posts: 21
Joined: Aug 2010

Thanks everyone for your messages.
I guess you never cope with the loss, but just learn to live with it.

All the best to everyone and Happy Holidays.

I will keep looking at the board and be in touch.

Love,
madhura

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