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My Mom's battle with cancer is over

deb_needhope
Posts: 38
Joined: Jun 2010

I'm so heartbroken, my best friend, my mother is no longer here. She died yesterday afternoon with her two daughters on either side of her. She faught so hard and did everything the doctors said. She never complained even through some terrible side effects.. She always looked ahead.

Things changed so quickly. We were there at her doctor's appointment on Friday talking to her oncologist about new clincal trials we found.. The oncologist said, let's get her platlets up first, then see. She had IV fluids and platlets given to her that afternoon. She had been on oxygen since her right lung partially collapsed. When she got home from the hospital, her oxygen stats dropped so we brought her to the ER where she continued to fight until her body just gave up..

Thanks for all the encouraging messagages on this site. I learned alot and listened to some suggestions. Trying to find strength so I can get through the arrangements. It's doesn't seem real.. Deb.

bradygirl
Posts: 31
Joined: Aug 2010

So sorry for your loss

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1576
Joined: May 2009

Deb, I am so sorry that your mother's battle has ended.

Find your strength in all the wonderful memories you have of your mother. She will always be watching over you as you watched over her and cared for her during her battle with cancer.

My deepest sympathy,
Glenna

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

Deb, I am so sorry to hear your news.

May you find peace and strength....Elysia

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Deb,
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. It seems like everything went really fast. But at least
you were there with your daughters & not alone. The next few days are going to be stressful making all the arrangements, but try and remember all the good times with your mom.
Please let us know how you're doing, okay? "Carole"

NayPaul's picture
NayPaul
Posts: 230
Joined: Oct 2010

I'm thinking of u and your family. Sorry. There r not enough dirty words to describe cancer.

skipper85's picture
skipper85
Posts: 231
Joined: Sep 2010

So sorry to hear bout your Mother's passing. You and your family are in my prayers for strength to deal with your loss. I'm sure your Mom is at peace now and no longer suffering with "the beast disease." She's probably watching over you right now and I'm sure she'll be listening if you talk with her.

((HUGS))

Skipper85

stayingcalm's picture
stayingcalm
Posts: 656
Joined: Feb 2007

I'm so sorry, Deb,

Kentr
Posts: 111
Joined: May 2009

We are so sorry for your loss and wish you the very best.

MissAngee
Posts: 7
Joined: Jun 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. No words can comfort you at this time. I know you want your mother with you. It's so sad. My condolences to you and your sister. May God be with you at your time of sorrow.

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

How are you doing?

Been keeping my eye out for you and have not seen you in a while. I am on Grief/Bereavement, Emotional Support and Caregivers more now.....

Take Care
Elysia

deb_needhope
Posts: 38
Joined: Jun 2010

Hi Elysia, I'm doing okay. My sister and I talk everyday and practically re-lived the last couple of days of my Mom's life for the first month after she passed away.. Christmas wasn't the same but got through it for my kids. Some days are harder than others.. I still miss her soo much. I could tell her anything and she understood.. I'm thankful for the wonderful relationship we had. I've started to buy books on the 'afterlife' for some sort of sign that she's okay..

Looking back, we now see some of the signs that she was closer to losing her fight to cancer than we thought. I guess we thought we were so on top of her meds, doctor's appointments etc that we would find a way to extend her life so much longer.. I was really hoping for a 'remission' for her as she was diagnosed at the end of May and passed away in mid November, only 5 1/2 mo.. Kind of feel robbed for her sake and I guess mine too.. I wanted so much for her to have a break w/chemo and radiation and be able to live back at her house so she could go out w/her friends and have some sort of normacy back, but that wasn't to be..

How have you been? Has the bereavement support helped?

Tracy123
Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 2010

Deb,

I understand what you're going through and my heart absolutely aches for you. Know that I am hugging you and wishing there was something I could say to make us both feel better. My mother was also my best friend, I've never had a girlfriend as close as Mom and I were. In August we spent a girls weekend in Pompano Beach, then 10/2/10 our lives changed when she was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer that had gone to the brain. Mom passed away on 11/28/10 at just 64 years old, it was only 56 days. I watched her go from working one day and she just didn't feel well (10/2/10) and went to the ER, then started radiation, then losing the use of her legs, phneumonia and fortunately she passed quietly in Hospice Care (they are such a blessing). I cannot believe she is gone, I miss her so much. I never believed you could actually feel your heart break.

God bless and keep you and I pray that you find comfort and peace.

deb_needhope
Posts: 38
Joined: Jun 2010

Hi Tracy, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. I can't believe how quickly she passed after diagnosis.. My mother had just got back from her annual vacation to Aruba (was very active) with a bunch of her 'Retiree' friends in mid May, then had a doctor's appt in late May which led to a chest x-ray (she complained on some tingling behind her right shoulder and had lost 7 lbs.).. From there, my sister and I closed up her house since she lived 2 hrs from both of us and we took turns having her stay with both of us so we could each care for her and take her to her appointments etc..

I know what you mean when you say she was your best friend... At times, I've said.. I can't believe the world just goes on... doesn't anyone know, my Mom's gone..LOL... She lid up every room she was in... It's still so hard to believe. The heart ache pain is the worst..

On the back of my Mother's Memory card at the wake, we picked out the following prayer which sums up our feelings... You might have seen this before:

"May you always walk in sunshine and God's love around you flow, for the happiness you gave us, no one will ever know. It broke our heart's to lose you, but you did not go alone, a part of us went with you the day God called you home. A million times we've needed you, a million times we've cried. If love could only have saved you. You never would have died."

My prayers are with you too.. Deb..

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