just have to get this off my chest
Comments
-
I dunno...sometimes people
I dunno...sometimes people only APPEAR to be blesed or have "excellent" lives. They may have some qualities which others find attractive, but if these people are cruel, I have an idea that even their friends are glad that they are not ( for now anyway) on their bad side. I doubt they are truly admired~ they might actually be feared. I can imagine a married couple, after an evening with them, coming home only to breathe a sigh of relief they they are NOT like that.
Cruel people are not happy people...and they don't get through life unscathed, either.
If one of them were to get ill, I really don't think they will get the heartfelt, genuine loving care that Kindred Spirits such as you receive! You are a compassionate, harworking involved woman~ and a valuable part of this family! I am always so sorry that any of us had to meet here, but thankfully, we did!
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
This made me think a bit andchenheart said:I dunno...sometimes people
I dunno...sometimes people only APPEAR to be blesed or have "excellent" lives. They may have some qualities which others find attractive, but if these people are cruel, I have an idea that even their friends are glad that they are not ( for now anyway) on their bad side. I doubt they are truly admired~ they might actually be feared. I can imagine a married couple, after an evening with them, coming home only to breathe a sigh of relief they they are NOT like that.
Cruel people are not happy people...and they don't get through life unscathed, either.
If one of them were to get ill, I really don't think they will get the heartfelt, genuine loving care that Kindred Spirits such as you receive! You are a compassionate, harworking involved woman~ and a valuable part of this family! I am always so sorry that any of us had to meet here, but thankfully, we did!
Hugs,
Claudia
Carkris, You have made a very valid observation and venting is a great way to work through these feelings.
This made me think a bit and I think that all of us could find someone that seems to live a great life and yet they are not so great and don't seem very deserving of their good fortune. Then I reflected and took it a step further and realize that there have probably been and even are people that have looked at my life and thought the same thing about me. I try to be good and kind and caring but to be honest I am sure that there are lots of people over these many years that I have rubbed the wrong way or been rude to etc. I had and actually still have a very good life. A long marriage, a good kid, a nice home, supportive family and friends and so on. Not over the top perfect but nice, stable. Perhaps many years ago or even now, someone who received news of a cancer diagnosis, or lost someone they loved, or had someone they loved with any horrible ailment looked at me and thought why them and not me. I think it is very normal to wonder why this happened to us but what Chen said is very true. If they are truly not nice people, then it is unlikely they will have the kind of support we have had. I find it easier not to compare my life, my diagnosis, my, well, everything, with others. It doesn't really help or comfort me and it would most likely only distress me. But I can understand another person's frustration with this. The fact is that life is not always fair and good guys don't always finish first. But good guys keep trying and they reach out to others and Carkris, that is what you do and it is what sets you apart from those that don't.
Just happy I still have a glass.
Stef0 -
For the past 13 years....fauxma said:This made me think a bit and
Carkris, You have made a very valid observation and venting is a great way to work through these feelings.
This made me think a bit and I think that all of us could find someone that seems to live a great life and yet they are not so great and don't seem very deserving of their good fortune. Then I reflected and took it a step further and realize that there have probably been and even are people that have looked at my life and thought the same thing about me. I try to be good and kind and caring but to be honest I am sure that there are lots of people over these many years that I have rubbed the wrong way or been rude to etc. I had and actually still have a very good life. A long marriage, a good kid, a nice home, supportive family and friends and so on. Not over the top perfect but nice, stable. Perhaps many years ago or even now, someone who received news of a cancer diagnosis, or lost someone they loved, or had someone they loved with any horrible ailment looked at me and thought why them and not me. I think it is very normal to wonder why this happened to us but what Chen said is very true. If they are truly not nice people, then it is unlikely they will have the kind of support we have had. I find it easier not to compare my life, my diagnosis, my, well, everything, with others. It doesn't really help or comfort me and it would most likely only distress me. But I can understand another person's frustration with this. The fact is that life is not always fair and good guys don't always finish first. But good guys keep trying and they reach out to others and Carkris, that is what you do and it is what sets you apart from those that don't.
Just happy I still have a glass.
Stef
I have been supervised by a man who is a sexist and gives unfair advantages to the men he works with and does nothing for the women. I am self-employed and run an insurance agency (not health insurance thank God) but as a general agent, I need to deal with a hierchy. Two weeks ago, I went over his head and gave a lenghty and detailed report on his activities to our Regional VP. He still has his job (hard to believe) but I no longer have to deal with him. From the outside, it looked like he had a wonderful life. Big house overlooking a bay, fancy country club membership, mega money, a beautiful wife and a healthy son. Well....I found out 2 days ago that his wife left him. He had been cheating on her for years and I'm sure she had enough of him.....just like I did. Yea for us! His wife is a lovely women and I wish her the best. On top of that, he claims to be a Christian. My point is that what a life looks like from the outside is not necessarily what it is from the inside. I have found that people are who they are in all aspects of their lives. Bad people aren't generally good people in their personal lives and vice versa.
Roseann0 -
words to live by
I surely do understand the need to vent, carkris. It just doesn't seem fair. This poem is crdited to Max Ehrmann, copyrighted 1952.
DESIDERATA
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter; for alsways there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of herosim.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither by cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennail as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautifull world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
~~Connie~~0 -
I hadn't thought ofcrselby said:words to live by
I surely do understand the need to vent, carkris. It just doesn't seem fair. This poem is crdited to Max Ehrmann, copyrighted 1952.
DESIDERATA
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter; for alsways there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of herosim.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither by cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennail as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautifull world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
~~Connie~~
I hadn't thought of Desiderata in eons! I remember "back in the day"~ it was on the dorm walls in poster form of myriad college kids, and of course, when it was recorded we all tried to memorize it and recite along!0 -
Thank you all forchenheart said:I hadn't thought of
I hadn't thought of Desiderata in eons! I remember "back in the day"~ it was on the dorm walls in poster form of myriad college kids, and of course, when it was recorded we all tried to memorize it and recite along!
Thank you all for responding. I had just left work, and its very stressful. with my sore feet (neuropathy) and my whole body hurts. I am struggling a bit to even understand how I feel. what to say, and people who dont recognize me. I am sad as I am wondering how I will be able to do this and my work is so important to me.
I just feel frustrated sometimes, for myself and all you wonderful people. None of us is perfect, I have said things that later on I have cringed. Mostly because I tend to call it as I see it. However, I am never intentionally cruel. I never use what (little) power I have to hurt others. I guess you have to feel sorry for them as they have a need to be this way.And these two people I have been hurt by badly.
I am also frustrated with myself, as having had cancer so many times, I should automatically be abouve this type of thinking. Really who cares? I really do try to focus on what I have not what I dont, and I suceed most of the time. (and I am really blessed with nothing to complain about) But starting work is starting to erode me a bit and I am scared. its a tough place with tough people. Just the physical part of going back is daunting.
I go back because I love it and I am good at it. I am stubborn too. I try to "be the change you would like to see in the world" But am completely frustrated when my physical being interupts my purpose. Trust me I am learning, I am FAR from perfect.
Thanks for the Desiderata, it is a wonderful poem and I think I will copy it and tske it to work.0 -
I understand completelycarkris said:Thank you all for
Thank you all for responding. I had just left work, and its very stressful. with my sore feet (neuropathy) and my whole body hurts. I am struggling a bit to even understand how I feel. what to say, and people who dont recognize me. I am sad as I am wondering how I will be able to do this and my work is so important to me.
I just feel frustrated sometimes, for myself and all you wonderful people. None of us is perfect, I have said things that later on I have cringed. Mostly because I tend to call it as I see it. However, I am never intentionally cruel. I never use what (little) power I have to hurt others. I guess you have to feel sorry for them as they have a need to be this way.And these two people I have been hurt by badly.
I am also frustrated with myself, as having had cancer so many times, I should automatically be abouve this type of thinking. Really who cares? I really do try to focus on what I have not what I dont, and I suceed most of the time. (and I am really blessed with nothing to complain about) But starting work is starting to erode me a bit and I am scared. its a tough place with tough people. Just the physical part of going back is daunting.
I go back because I love it and I am good at it. I am stubborn too. I try to "be the change you would like to see in the world" But am completely frustrated when my physical being interupts my purpose. Trust me I am learning, I am FAR from perfect.
Thanks for the Desiderata, it is a wonderful poem and I think I will copy it and tske it to work.
I recently posted a vent almost like yours except it was about rotten family, not co-workers. Trying to make sense of it is a complete waste of time. It steals your joy. Don't allow these rotten people to steal your joy. Forget these cruel people they're not worth it. Wipe them off the bottom of your shoe and keep moving forward.0 -
When the 'Why me?' changes...
...to 'because', then that's acceptance...
I've spent some of my time railing at the no-goods that seem to have 'everything'...and, on closer inspection, talk a good game, but really have nothing except expensive playthings and no one who will drive them to chemotherapy, should they fall ill.
We warriors have fought a fight that most people will never face in their lives....a battle FOR our lives!!!! We deserve to get ALL of the applause!!!!!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
Ms Sunshine I remember thatKathiM said:When the 'Why me?' changes...
...to 'because', then that's acceptance...
I've spent some of my time railing at the no-goods that seem to have 'everything'...and, on closer inspection, talk a good game, but really have nothing except expensive playthings and no one who will drive them to chemotherapy, should they fall ill.
We warriors have fought a fight that most people will never face in their lives....a battle FOR our lives!!!! We deserve to get ALL of the applause!!!!!
Hugs, Kathi
Ms Sunshine I remember that thread and I thought of it when I was posting. I guess I dont struggle with the why me? but the why not them? LOL.but seriously I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. I guess even though how sick I was I am not sure I want or have the energy to be back in the fray.
I am privledged to know you all, and although I wish for us all we never had to meet. I am grateful to meet like minded people. I have been surrounded by great people and lots of love, it was safe and secure, now being back and reminded of the not so nice is another ajustment. I guess another step in getting back to my new normal! thanks for listening. love you all I really do!0 -
One thing I truly believe incarkris said:Ms Sunshine I remember that
Ms Sunshine I remember that thread and I thought of it when I was posting. I guess I dont struggle with the why me? but the why not them? LOL.but seriously I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. I guess even though how sick I was I am not sure I want or have the energy to be back in the fray.
I am privledged to know you all, and although I wish for us all we never had to meet. I am grateful to meet like minded people. I have been surrounded by great people and lots of love, it was safe and secure, now being back and reminded of the not so nice is another ajustment. I guess another step in getting back to my new normal! thanks for listening. love you all I really do!
is karma. What goes around, comes around--maybe not today, tomorrow, but some day. People who feel the need to belittle people in any way have something really big lacking in their lives--no matter how great their lives seem on the outside.
Once, when I was going through chemo and really in the depths of despair, someone said something to me that hurt me to the core (and it was someone very close to me). My wonderful son set me straight by saying, "why would you let someone else define who you are and how you should feel? What anyone else says really doesn't matter--you know who you are!" One of the trillion reasons I love that boy!
I'm glad you vented here--but you know who you are--"a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars..."
Hugs, Renee0 -
Carkris,carkris said:Thank you all for
Thank you all for responding. I had just left work, and its very stressful. with my sore feet (neuropathy) and my whole body hurts. I am struggling a bit to even understand how I feel. what to say, and people who dont recognize me. I am sad as I am wondering how I will be able to do this and my work is so important to me.
I just feel frustrated sometimes, for myself and all you wonderful people. None of us is perfect, I have said things that later on I have cringed. Mostly because I tend to call it as I see it. However, I am never intentionally cruel. I never use what (little) power I have to hurt others. I guess you have to feel sorry for them as they have a need to be this way.And these two people I have been hurt by badly.
I am also frustrated with myself, as having had cancer so many times, I should automatically be abouve this type of thinking. Really who cares? I really do try to focus on what I have not what I dont, and I suceed most of the time. (and I am really blessed with nothing to complain about) But starting work is starting to erode me a bit and I am scared. its a tough place with tough people. Just the physical part of going back is daunting.
I go back because I love it and I am good at it. I am stubborn too. I try to "be the change you would like to see in the world" But am completely frustrated when my physical being interupts my purpose. Trust me I am learning, I am FAR from perfect.
Thanks for the Desiderata, it is a wonderful poem and I think I will copy it and tske it to work.
It is so difficult
Carkris,
It is so difficult to have to deal with unkind, hostile people at work. It can make a job you love and excel at so very miserable. Just because you have dealt with cancer before does not make you immune to all these feelings and I think you have had legitimate things to complain about. I like your "be the change you would like to see in the world". We need more of that for sure. I hope that your work situation becomes more tolerable and my thoughts and prayers are with you always.
Stef0 -
Renee what a wonderful son. ! thanks all!missrenee said:One thing I truly believe in
is karma. What goes around, comes around--maybe not today, tomorrow, but some day. People who feel the need to belittle people in any way have something really big lacking in their lives--no matter how great their lives seem on the outside.
Once, when I was going through chemo and really in the depths of despair, someone said something to me that hurt me to the core (and it was someone very close to me). My wonderful son set me straight by saying, "why would you let someone else define who you are and how you should feel? What anyone else says really doesn't matter--you know who you are!" One of the trillion reasons I love that boy!
I'm glad you vented here--but you know who you are--"a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars..."
Hugs, Renee0 -
things that look too perfect
are ususally the worse the trying to cover up bad thing! IT stinks how some get away with things and others can do or say same thing it comes back to BITE THEM...I totally understand..so sorry...you have to deal with it!0 -
Two traveling angels
Here's one way of looking at it..........
Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a
wealthy family.
The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the
mansion's guest room.
Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole
in the wall and repaired it.
When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,
"Things aren't always what they seem"
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but
very hospitable farmer and his wife.
After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels
sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.
When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and
his wife in tears.
Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in
the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could
you have let this happen?
The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused.
The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and
you let the cow die..
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.
"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was
gold stored in that hole in the wall.
Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his
good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."
"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death
came for his wife I gave him the cow instead.
Things aren't always what they seem."
Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out
the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that
every out come is always to your advantage. You just might not know it
until some time later...
Hope it made you smile, cakris!
~~Connie~~0 -
Thanks, Connie!crselby said:Two traveling angels
Here's one way of looking at it..........
Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a
wealthy family.
The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the
mansion's guest room.
Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole
in the wall and repaired it.
When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,
"Things aren't always what they seem"
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but
very hospitable farmer and his wife.
After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels
sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.
When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and
his wife in tears.
Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in
the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could
you have let this happen?
The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused.
The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and
you let the cow die..
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.
"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was
gold stored in that hole in the wall.
Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his
good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."
"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death
came for his wife I gave him the cow instead.
Things aren't always what they seem."
Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out
the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that
every out come is always to your advantage. You just might not know it
until some time later...
Hope it made you smile, cakris!
~~Connie~~
What a beautiful story to put things into perspective. Thanks for sharing this!0 -
It made ME smile, Connie!crselby said:Two traveling angels
Here's one way of looking at it..........
Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a
wealthy family.
The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the
mansion's guest room.
Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole
in the wall and repaired it.
When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,
"Things aren't always what they seem"
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but
very hospitable farmer and his wife.
After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels
sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.
When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and
his wife in tears.
Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in
the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could
you have let this happen?
The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused.
The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and
you let the cow die..
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.
"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was
gold stored in that hole in the wall.
Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his
good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."
"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death
came for his wife I gave him the cow instead.
Things aren't always what they seem."
Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out
the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that
every out come is always to your advantage. You just might not know it
until some time later...
Hope it made you smile, cakris!
~~Connie~~
Thank you!!!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
that was a wonderful storyKathiM said:It made ME smile, Connie!
Thank you!!!
Hugs, Kathi
that was a wonderful story and thank you .
Most of the people I work with are pretty nice too, its just a few bad apples sometimes I just needed to vent. One of the things I want to get out of this, and I always have to find some meaning. Is to rise above the pettiness and nonsense. We ALL know what really matters. I just have to work at keeping that in my heart, and I get frustrated with myself, when I get caught up in stuff that really doesnt matter. I think I get frustrated with myself in general. I am not moving as fast as I would like. I tell everyone else to be patient..... How many times do you have to be knocked over before you really get it?? Treatment is one set of skills and survivorship is another set Oh well life is a journey.... You guys are awesome. You always teach me so much!0 -
Venting...
Sometimes difficult people are put in our lives to help us find the spiritual Light within ourselves. When you realize that we all are "little pieces of God", then you cannot help but know that we are all connected to each and every one on this earth. Consequently, when we experience the cruelty of not nice people, just know that it is also one of YOUR characteristics as well, which needs correction. Unfortunately, we cannot make the corrections of those character flaws by ourselves. Instead, we need the assistance of others to help us to first, identify the "flaws", and then to help monitor our changes toward the better as they occur.0 -
I agree with you to a point.111222 said:Venting...
Sometimes difficult people are put in our lives to help us find the spiritual Light within ourselves. When you realize that we all are "little pieces of God", then you cannot help but know that we are all connected to each and every one on this earth. Consequently, when we experience the cruelty of not nice people, just know that it is also one of YOUR characteristics as well, which needs correction. Unfortunately, we cannot make the corrections of those character flaws by ourselves. Instead, we need the assistance of others to help us to first, identify the "flaws", and then to help monitor our changes toward the better as they occur.
I agree with you to a point. I think I may have been put into their lives for them to see their own behavior, but I know I am not a mean person. But what I have needed to do is show less vulnerability. Anyway I believe in that karma thing, or life lessons. My hope is that they will look at their own behavior and stop being this way. My lesson is to learn forgiveness.
Once again thanks all! I am back to moving forward!0
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