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Hugs needed

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1162
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi All,
My MIL arrived last night. She and sis in law are now comfy in their apt. MIL is in poor shape. The change from early Oct to now is dramatic. Hospice came today and set everything up. They are wonderful.
I am getting my voice back a little, but the extreme fatigue is doing a real number on me. I feel like I don't know which way to turn..
My mom had a small TIA like episode tonight also. This is something she does, but is always so worrisom and just adds to my stress.
So, I am turning to you all for a hug. I am feeling like I need to be in four places at once.
Tomorrow I will stop in at my moms then go meet with the hospice nurse for MIL.

I keep saying to myself that I can't do the rads, I won't do the rads, I don't want to. No No No. I just want to run and hide and make it all go away.
I feel like I am being pounded into the ground.

Also, today I found out that my friend's husband with esophagel cancer passed away. So sad. He was such a favorite in our neighborhood.
Thanks for letting me vent a little. I am trying to keep from crying. I am afraid I won't stop.
peaceful healing
Lisha

hilde451's picture
hilde451
Posts: 229
Joined: Oct 2009

Hello Lisha:

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time. It is hard to know
what to say for sure. The best thing I can say or do is Pray for you and your family.
And I am sending a loving hug your way.
I know how hard things are. I lost my Mom in March of this year. And it has really done a number on me.
I had to put her in a nursing home the last year of her life. She had Colon Cancer and I was doing Chemo and could not take care of her.
That really hurt me. But I was there as often as I could. My siblings too. It just mostly fell on me. I had taken care of her the last 8 years.
But sometimes things just work out for the best. I miss her every day.
I hope you will do ok, I will be praying for you and your family.
Hilde

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1162
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Hilde,
thank you for your kindness and your loving hug. I am so sorry to hear about your mom. My mom lives at an assisted living nearby. I am so grateful that she is living there and has wonderful caregivers to help look after her. It is still very hard. I wish I could give her more of me...
Peaceful healing
Lisha

truckingalong
Posts: 444
Joined: Aug 2010

Lisha, here are my hugs - more than one!!

It is good to fall apart from time to time then you will get up easier. I fell apart at last time thinking I never get out of this but I did. One thing is important - is to pace yourself and get some rest - I know it is easier said than done. I am feeling fatigue and just found out that I need blood transfusion because of my anemia so hope you are watching whatever you have... My mother is getting chemo weekly just to keep her cancer from spreading so I also feel sad and also feel for my dad.... I just take one thing at a time ... I feel your loss about that friend's husband and am thinking of you with prayers and positive thoughts.

Hugs,
Liz

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1162
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Liz,
Thank you for you kind words and hugs. It is a struggle, but I will get through, I hope.
I am sorry to hear you need transfusions. I have had many many in my life. My experience was that they gave me benadryl first and then ran the infusions slowly , since I tend to have bad reactions to many things. Normally they run a unit over about 30 minutes, but for me they were over an hour per unit. You will be amazed at how well you will feel, most likely by the next day. Blood is a wonderful life force. I may need to have some myself, if the rads knock my counts much lower.
Peaceful healing
Lisha

truckingalong
Posts: 444
Joined: Aug 2010

Lisha, I never had the transfusion before and will have it the first time this Friday. What was the reason you needed Benadryl? Will there be some pain or what? Just want to know what I should expect, smile. I will have 2 units supplied.

Thanks and peaceful healing too,
Liz

truckingalong
Posts: 444
Joined: Aug 2010

Lisha, I never had the transfusion before and will have it the first time this Friday. What was the reason you needed Benadryl? Will there be some pain or what? Just want to know what I should expect, smile. I will have 2 units supplied.

Thanks and peaceful healing too,
Liz

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1162
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Liz,
The reason I always receive the benadryl before transfusions is to prevent any reaction from the blood. Some people have reactions to transfusions, such as hives or breathing difficulities. They can be very mild to very servere. Since I have had many very bad drug reactions and also some tranfusion reactions, I always receive I.V. benadryl first. The only pain I have had was with the I.V. My veins are very small and many are damaged beyond use. larger veins are needed for blood transfusions. Will you receive packed red cells? For the most part, receiving blood is simple and painless. Please keep me posted, I'll be thinking good positive thoughts for you on Friday. You'll do fine and should feel better by the end of the weekend.
peaceful healing
Lisha

allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3184
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi Lisha,
You "always" have my hugs, prayers and positive thoughts. It might just be a good idea to have a good cry and release some of this stress you are going through. I'm glad Delores is safely here and settled in the apartment, and it's good that hospice will be helping you with her. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friends husband and will say a prayer for her. So much happening back to back for you...my heart goes out to you. Big Hugs to you Lisha and I pray you can get some rest before you start treatment!!! Love...Sue

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1162
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Sue,
Thank you for your kindness and your loving hugs. It does feel like a lot at one time. It is a lot at one time.. I'm just so tired, thats when the fear starts to set in.
I hope your starting to feel better and gain some strength back. Your almost done , you have been amazing. Hang in there...
You were one of the first to welcome me and you will always have a special place in my heart.
Peaceful healing
Lisha

My friend is Jan and her husband is Smokey. He always wore a smokey bear hat, hence the name.

tcvine's picture
tcvine
Posts: 174
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Lisha,

As with everyone else, you have my very best wishes and prayers. You are an inspiration to us all, but I do hope that you are able to step back and take care of your own needs during this very, very stressful time.

Tom (DLBCL-4-7/10)

vinny59's picture
vinny59
Posts: 1032
Joined: Nov 2006

Coming your way all the hugs I can muster!!!! Lisha, hospice is great, they were wonderful for my uncle....... keep your head up and keep swinging! Vinny

Chris17's picture
Chris17
Posts: 174
Joined: Oct 2010

Lisha, you are an amazing woman, taking care of Delores and dealing with your own health issues, not many people would do that even if they werent ill, my hats off to you, i spent my evening last night in urgent care, my nodes under my jawline and side of my neck are swollen,i told the doc what type of cancer i have, he said "Oh my dear i am so sorry", i told him i was in remission but he said no more, he gave my some meds for the infection and said if there i wasnt any better in a few days to make an appt to see the oncologist.The one thing that worries me is i have an infection but i have no fever,so i will wait and see if there is no im provement i will make the appt, anyways, enough about me, i wish you all the best and im glad Delores made it alright, will keep you both in my prayers, you are a strong woman,always remember that! Take care
Chris(FNHL)stage-3 04/2008-remission

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

HI Lisha,
Here's a big hug for you. Don't give up even though things seem to be stressful now.
I gave my husband many hugs when he was sick just to help him make it through. He passed away in March, and I sure wish I could hug him today. Don't give up and you can vent here anytime you want. "Carole"

allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3184
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi Carole,
I'm so sorry you lost your husband in March. I hope you are doing ok and I will keep you in my prayers. Love...Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)

Porphy
Posts: 36
Joined: Jul 2010

Lisha, I'm very sorry you have so much on your plate right now. I'm sending as many good vibes as I can put in 1 little note. Thank goodness for this site....

Linda

Swtkoolaid's picture
Swtkoolaid
Posts: 53
Joined: Nov 2010

and some positive thoughts, prayers and anything else you need.... you came by my page when I was in need so I'm hoping my note helps you even just a little. I'm sorry you are going through so much, it really sucks. If you feel like crying then cry, its good to let things go every now and then. With all that is going on Lisha, make sure you never forget to take care of YOU. Take Care my friend and I do pray that things will get easier for you. With Love and Blessings ~ Andrea

yesyes2
Posts: 549
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi Lisha,

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way for the coming weeks. Your plate is way to full, and I'm so sorry for that. You are very much a giver to others so please try and keep some of your energy for yourself while you start your radiation treatments. You have become an inspiration for many of us on this board.
With blessings to you,
Leslie

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