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John Tinker ( JohnSFO)

Paula G.'s picture
Paula G.
Posts: 596
Joined: Apr 2009

Hello everyone,
I am sorry to give this hard and sad news. John Tinker passed away yesterday. I asked Adrian if he wanted me to post this. I know all of you on this site would want this information. John is at peace now. I wish I could write as wonderful as he would have.
He will be missed by many. I for one will keep him and Adrian in my heart always.

Adrian, if you read this know that my thoughts are with you at this time and always. Love, Paula

Lori-S's picture
Posts: 1286
Joined: Sep 2010

I am so so sorry to hear of John's death. I know you loved him very much. You have my prayers for the strength and comfort you need now.

Paula, thank you for letting everyone know. I hope you are doing ok. HUGS

Sundanceh's picture
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Adrian, I'm sorry on the passing of John...I know you both saw it coming and had it pegged very accurately, but never the less, it does not lessen your hurt.

I'm glad he is at peace now and I know you both attacked vigorously and that you had the opportunity to share some moments between yourselves.

"Holding you in the light."


pepebcn's picture
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

my prayers are with him.
Have my condolences Adrian!

Posts: 168
Joined: Oct 2009

Paula, thank you for letting us know. I'm sure I'm speaking for many when I say that John and Adrian have been in my thoughts, prayers, and heart over the past few months, and weeks especially. I'm so sorry to hear this devastating news, but comforted that John and Adrian have lived their lives to the fullest and were able to spend this time together.

Posts: 965
Joined: Nov 2008


My condolences to you and the rest of John's family on his passing. I have no adequate words to express my sorrow.

From the Quaker booklet of "Advices and Queries":

"Accepting the fact of death, we are freed to live more fully. In bereavement give yourself time to grieve. When others mourn, let your love embrace them."

May the love that you shared embrace you. May you live fully in that love on Earth as John will live it fully in Heaven.


AceSFO's picture
Posts: 230
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks for posting and thank you all for all the support we've gotten from this site over the course of John's illness. He was JohnSFO on here for anyone who didn't know him. We had been very active on here for quite some time and met some remarkable people here, but lately we hadn't been posting much.
Here's what I put on our Caring Bridge page, just to complete the picture.

John died peacefully and painlessly in my arms at 1 am on Thursday morning, November 4, 2010, and his suffering is finally over.

On Monday, November 1, he started to go into terminal delirium, which was clearly very pleasant for him. Although what he was saying didn’t align with anything that I was perceiving, he was all smiles and soft, amused laughter while floating around between worlds; at times gesturing or pointing at things and at other times writing invisible words in the air in front of him. Some of the things he said made both of us laugh, though probably for different reasons. That night, after a day of him being completely incoherent, I suddenly realized around 6 pm that he was perfectly lucid - our old John again – just for a minute or so. We didn’t even feel the need to use the moment to make any goodbyes or anything like that – just greeted one another in an everyday familiar sort of way, and basked in each other’s smiles. It was a real moment of grace. We had both so hoped for a quiet, dignified death at home, and that’s exactly how it went. A beautiful death.

Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

My thoughts are with you at this most difficult time. How beautifully you wrote about his passing. Take good care of yourself.

KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

The tears are flowing. But I know John is better now, and, although we can't 'see' him, he is still with us....

Please, dear friend, turn to us when you need support...we are here and are family....

Soggy hugs, Kathi

Lovekitties's picture
Posts: 3360
Joined: Jan 2010

I am glad that John was able to pass peacefully.


Marie who loves kitties

herdizziness's picture
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

My dear Adrian,
My heartfelt sorrow at John's death. I'm glad it was what you had both hoped for, a death with dignity and knowledge of love for each other.
You will be in my prayers.
Winter Marie

2bhealed's picture
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001


I cannot imagine a more beautiful death. I am sorry for your loss but relieved John's suffering is over. Thank you for sharing his death story with us. Life is amazing right up to the last breath.

peace, emily

just4Brooks's picture
Posts: 988
Joined: Jun 2009

To have the love of each other during that special time is a wonderful experience. I have worked with AIDS hospice patients for many years and have seen the person floating between worlds many times and talking to loved ones who have passed long ago. He was lucky to have you there for him and I'm sure you know how lucky you are to have seen what very few ever get to see. Soak in the experience.


Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

This just saddens me to no end...I just hate cancer...I am so sorry for your loss, I do know he is no longer in pain, and I believe he will always be with you..

God Bless you

tootsie1's picture
Posts: 5064
Joined: Feb 2008

That's a beautiful way to go. I know you're very sad about losing someone you loved so much, but at least he went out the way he wanted to, which is a blessing.

I'm praying that you will have peace and comfort in this sad time.


Kathleen808's picture
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

You remain in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You and John lived a life filled with beauty and love.


Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Thanks for letting us know about John. Adrian is in my thoughts.

Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

Adrian... Just wanted to thank you for the updates here and for allowing us to visit your caringbridge site. I think of you and John as perfect examples of love and grace.Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your and John's journey.

Take care of yourself too, Adrian.

Thanks Paula for posting this.


DoriW's picture
Posts: 12
Joined: Feb 2009


I am so deeply sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.


Posts: 395
Joined: Jul 2010

My prayers go out to you during this difficult time. May you find strength and peace knowing that John is resting in the loving arms of our Lord.

Posts: 395
Joined: Jul 2010

My prayers go out to you during this difficult time. May you find strength and peace knowing that John is resting in the loving arms of our Lord.

angelsbaby's picture
Posts: 1171
Joined: May 2008

I am so sorry


Paula G.'s picture
Paula G.
Posts: 596
Joined: Apr 2009

Some of you might know John only as JohnSFO.

Annabelle41415's picture
Posts: 6692
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry to hear of his passing. You are right, he is at peace now. Adrian, you are in my thoughts as you get through this difficult time.


lisa42's picture
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hello Adrian,

My heartfelt condolences to you. The way you described the "fun" he seemed to be having for a bit brought a smile to my face. I am very sad for you with John's passing, but glad you had times of amuesment, and SO glad that he was lucid and his old self right before he actually passed. As you said... a "beautiful death".

Take care of yourself and check in here on occasion, if you will-


PhillieG's picture
Posts: 4912
Joined: May 2005

I'm sorry for your loss

coolvdub's picture
Posts: 410
Joined: Aug 2009


I'm sorry John has passed, but as corny as it sounds, he is in a better place now free of pain. By the sounds of it, the last couple of days were what you hoped and expected. Once again so sorry for yur loss. I now you will miss John and so will we. Please stop in from time to time and let us know how you are doing.

Prayers and hugs

chicoturner's picture
Posts: 285
Joined: Apr 2009

Adrian,you are in my prayers today. It is never easy, but I will pray for your peace. Thank you for sharing and being part of our lives. Blessings to you and John's family. Love, Jean

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

I'm so sorry Adrian. I know John is at peace, may you take comfort in that. Hugs! My condolences to the family. Raquel

tootsie1's picture
Posts: 5064
Joined: Feb 2008


I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you and for all of John's loved ones.


nudgie's picture
Posts: 1482
Joined: Sep 2006

God take him into his arms and allow him wings

maglets's picture
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

oh Adrian I am so sorry to read this news.

Thank you so much for sharing John's story.

with great love


luv3jay's picture
Posts: 534
Joined: May 2009

My deepest sympathy to the family.


idlehunters's picture
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

I am so sorry. My sympathies to all.


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