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tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

hey guys just to let you know i cant stop thinking of Eric's passing.I know what i'm thinking is bad but i cant stop.I look at my husband Jorge with his his stage4 to the liver that's Eric had and year ago now i'm looking at Jorge thinking about him passing away.i'm sooo scare

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

...Eric's story may not be necessarily Jorge's story. I know you are new to all of this, so all of this is a constant reminder to you of what might happen. Believe me, it weighs on my mind as well, and I'm an old veteran fighter when it comes to Cancer.

But the truth is, it could happen to anyone of us. Stage IV is definitely serious business and it's that stage for a reason. Having said that, there are too many of us Stage IV's still going after many, many years.

Myself, I'm well into my 6th year and I'm a Stage IV...I know my odds aren't the best, but so far, I've "outived" the diagnosis of many doctors who have told me that I won't make it. But, I'm still here.

So, look at it like Jorge's case will follow mine and he'll be around a long time. Just fight, fight, and fight!

I've seen over 50 people pass away this year from the board, some very dear friends of mine, including Eric. It makes me think about my situation, but after all of these years, I'm still resolved to continue on and try and lick this.

It's understandable that you connect the dots, but the more experience that you gain, the more of an understanding, you will come to realize.

I've had it in the rectum, the liver, and the lungs. I've had 5 major surgeries, multiple chemos and multiple radiations. I've had 3 recurrences. That's enough to shake up anyone right there, but I just keep moving on and researching my options. Not ready to quit yet.

I mention this only because you are in Year 1 and I'm about 6.5 years in - by the time my treatment will be done this time, I will be at Year 7. Think about that, Tina!

My wife has had a rough time with this last recurrence...she's been with me for all this time and for the first time, she is beginning to have thoughts like you are. But for her, that's due to the length of time that we have both been involved with this.

It's ok to be scared, just try and not dwell on it. Jorge has many chapters to write, and he will have many miles to walk and many hurdles to jump over....that's the journey. As you both walk down this path together, your attitudes and opinions will obviously change - as you both change.

I'm glad you can reveal your feelings - I hope a post like this will help you some.

Deaths on the board ALWAYS stir up thoughts and feelings that one of us could be next. It's just a natural thing in humans...we see our own mortality through someone else.

-Craig

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

Think in the dozens of peole who are survivors in this board,this is the attittude that will whelp him to cure and it is possible,be sure!
Cheer up!

karguy's picture
karguy
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

Don't be scared,everyone is different.There are alot of stage 4 survivers,just take it one test at a time.Talking to other suvivers helps.We are here if you need any answers.

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

Thank you everyone you guys are so right .

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Tina,

I understand how you feel. I'm the cancer survivor in my marriage, but Bill had a sudden cardiac arrest 10 years ago, and I still have so many thoughts and worries about what could be (there is an ongoing condition that caused it). As Craig as so eloquently put it, though, each case is different. The more you can focus on the good days and the memories you're making now, the happier you will be. I'm still a work in progress on that, but it's worth a try. *grins*

*hugs*
Gail

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

You have to see all the new things that are around now that wasn't around a year ago...It changes everyday, and that is our hope, that it keeps changing and becoming better, more spot specific, until something turns up for a major breakthrough....You can worry yourself to death or you can simply live like you did before cancer.....Let me ask you something...has cancer changed either one of your love for each other ? Has it changed either one of you physically ? If not then why not live the life you did just prior to his diagnosis, and enjoy it like there is no tomorrow. Why change something for a "word"...It hasn't taken his arms , legs, hands, body, or the gestures he gives you or you to him. Why allow one little word "cancer" to take all that feeling away.....its merely a word, and until it becomes something that starts to dehabilitate him, then to sit by and fret is to waste time that can be spent sharing all that we do that makes us happy.....Forget the word "cancer" its simply a word until we allow it to become something else...remove it from your vocabulary....Love to you both and many many close encounters for the two of you so that you will disassociate yourself with a mere word that has no control of your life unless the two of you allow it.....Don't for each others sake allow that to happen...It will eventually be ok...you just have to believe.........Clift

sasjourney
Posts: 395
Joined: Jul 2010

Very well said. I keep reading your post over and over...you are so right. I finished chemo in September and feel great but can't stop thinking about this disease. Logic tells me to go on with life and not let "cancer" take over my every thought otherwise it has won. That is hard to do, but I am working on it. Thanks for your post.

Tina, live like Jorge is perfectly fine...one day at a time.

Hugs,

Sara

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6216
Joined: Feb 2009

This is a frightening disease but you need to live life to the utmost. In 1997 I was in a horrible accident and could have easily died then, but struggled to be able to write and walk again. It's ok to be scared, it is a human emotion. Eric was a very special person, and he will be sadly missed. Just go give Jorge an extra kiss or hug when you are feeling down. He will appreciate it too :)

Kim

Lori-S's picture
Lori-S
Posts: 1287
Joined: Sep 2010

It's ok. We all get scared. Just love each other and continue Jorge's treatments. You get to see all the good news on the boards. That could be Jorge too.

We are all on a journey and everyone's is unique to them. Things change each day and all we can do is love each other to the best of our ability. HUGS

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