Note from Eric's Sister

ashley36
ashley36 Member Posts: 2
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Find myself coming here for comfort....something Eric always gave me. Sitting here trying to summarize what my brother has meant to me for a funeral service when i keep wanting to walk in his room and kiss him on the head like i have done from months. My head and my heart cannot make sense of this process.

So, for those of you who only knew Eris via CSN, a couple of things you should know:

He gave the best hugs on the planet. The kind that wrap you up and take all your worries away.
He had the stength of an ox
He never held a grudge.....never.
Forgiveness flowed like a river from his soul
He was so funny and a great writer and I'm sure you got that on the board
He would put his arms around my mom and I and say......my girls....my girls

My brother, Kristian, had a dream the night before Eric passed. He said he was sitting on the sofa in Eric's room and Eric was sitting in the chair by the door (despite being bed bound for months), Eric looked at Kristian and got out of the chair and walked out of the room.

Thank you for loving my brother. You were a great comfort to him.

I'm grateful that Eric is free from the worries and trouble and sickness of this world. But in flesh and selfishness, i just want my brother back.
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Comments

  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624
    Post from another discussion, so you know hun
    Strangest thing, I went outside yesterday, and my gardening Angel had a flower in her hand, and the flower was pointed up, and so fine looking. It looked freshly plucked.
    The only problem with the picture was that very same flower for the past couple of days had been wilted, and definitely facing way down to the ground. I had placed that flower 5 days ago, it was a purple and white petunia.
    I suspected my hubby had replaced it with another, I looked at my petunia's and no, I had purple ones, white ones, etc., but no purple/white ones. I asked him, and his answer, was no, he hadn't replaced it.
    This flower that I placed 5 days ago in the gardening Angel's hand had been given to me by a friend in gratitude of the way my cancer was getting whupped.
    I had been feeling that morning, helpless against this cancer with the news of Eric's death, my sadness at the loss of his wonderful soul on our earth was profound. On the page concerning his death, my words were short, unusual for me, but my tears prevented any further ability to write or see the words I wrote. And yet, I walk out to my back yard and here is this flower, in it's glory, looking freshly plucked.
    I think Eric, was saying carry on, don't give up. So, thank you Eric, I won't, we won't.
    We will continue the fight, we will my friend, we will. We won't forget you. I/We loved our conversations with you. I loved you my friend, even though we never met.
    So, tomorrow, we start the fight again.
    Winter Marie
  • stratplayer
    stratplayer Member Posts: 42
    I know there is loss and
    I know there is loss and confusion right now in your heart, but there is total peace where Eric is right now. I briefly knew Eric from this great Forum.
    May I make a suggestion?
    If you can, use Eric's log in on this forum so the new people will know his face. Eric is still in our memories and prayers. He is alive in Heaven!!!

    Mickey
  • ashley36
    ashley36 Member Posts: 2

    Post from another discussion, so you know hun
    Strangest thing, I went outside yesterday, and my gardening Angel had a flower in her hand, and the flower was pointed up, and so fine looking. It looked freshly plucked.
    The only problem with the picture was that very same flower for the past couple of days had been wilted, and definitely facing way down to the ground. I had placed that flower 5 days ago, it was a purple and white petunia.
    I suspected my hubby had replaced it with another, I looked at my petunia's and no, I had purple ones, white ones, etc., but no purple/white ones. I asked him, and his answer, was no, he hadn't replaced it.
    This flower that I placed 5 days ago in the gardening Angel's hand had been given to me by a friend in gratitude of the way my cancer was getting whupped.
    I had been feeling that morning, helpless against this cancer with the news of Eric's death, my sadness at the loss of his wonderful soul on our earth was profound. On the page concerning his death, my words were short, unusual for me, but my tears prevented any further ability to write or see the words I wrote. And yet, I walk out to my back yard and here is this flower, in it's glory, looking freshly plucked.
    I think Eric, was saying carry on, don't give up. So, thank you Eric, I won't, we won't.
    We will continue the fight, we will my friend, we will. We won't forget you. I/We loved our conversations with you. I loved you my friend, even though we never met.
    So, tomorrow, we start the fight again.
    Winter Marie

    Thank you
    Gosh, that is so comforting! I bet Eric gave that flower to you. That would be so like him to do such a thing in a tiny special place that only you would see.

    Maybe Eric has been assigned to watch over you from heaven. Can't think of a better person for the job. He gives great hugs.....even if you can't feel them.

    Prayers for your recovery, comfort and peace.
  • Lori-S
    Lori-S Member Posts: 1,277
    Ashley
    You are so sweet and thank you for sharing your stories and experiences with your brother. I hope that you find the strength and love you need at this time. Give yourself time and feel all your feelings. I am sending you a BIG HUG as I'm sure that Eric would want you to have.
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030
    Lori-S said:

    Ashley
    You are so sweet and thank you for sharing your stories and experiences with your brother. I hope that you find the strength and love you need at this time. Give yourself time and feel all your feelings. I am sending you a BIG HUG as I'm sure that Eric would want you to have.

    HUGS AND MORE HUGS
    Believe that you will see each other again, and feel that hug, because you can bet that he is there with you. Hold him in your heart, and when you are yearning for his touch, think of him, hug yourself and feel his strength!

    I send you a great big bear hug, and when you are lying down, ask him to run his fingers through your hair! I always ask for a sign!

    You will be fine! Angel Kisses!
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624
    ashley36 said:

    Thank you
    Gosh, that is so comforting! I bet Eric gave that flower to you. That would be so like him to do such a thing in a tiny special place that only you would see.

    Maybe Eric has been assigned to watch over you from heaven. Can't think of a better person for the job. He gives great hugs.....even if you can't feel them.

    Prayers for your recovery, comfort and peace.

    Ashley
    Much like Eric, you give such hope and peace.
    And I feel he is watching, looking over, helping all he can.
    Truly, my sobs are heart wrenching, and I must stop them for his sake, but I know he's in a better place, watching over us, loving us, lending us his soft touch and his sweet tender heart.
    Much love your and your families way.
    Winter Marie
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  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    Ashley
    Ashley,
    Thank you for sharing those beautiful words about Eric. Your description of your brother really rounds him out for me. He was always such a kind soul on this board. I love your description of his hugs.
    I will continue to hold your family in my prayers.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • okthen
    okthen Member Posts: 232

    Ashley
    Ashley,
    Thank you for sharing those beautiful words about Eric. Your description of your brother really rounds him out for me. He was always such a kind soul on this board. I love your description of his hugs.
    I will continue to hold your family in my prayers.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Ashley
    My heart aches for you. Although not to cancer, I lost my brother in 2008. Reading Maries post brought to mind the butterfly that appeared when my mother scattered his ashes...every time I see a butterfly I think of him and smile. It took some time for the tears to be replaced with a smile, but it does come. I wish I had gotten to know Eric better, everyone here that did seems to be better for it.
    Sending you prayers and hugs,
    Chriss
  • mommyof2kds
    mommyof2kds Member Posts: 519
    okthen said:

    Ashley
    My heart aches for you. Although not to cancer, I lost my brother in 2008. Reading Maries post brought to mind the butterfly that appeared when my mother scattered his ashes...every time I see a butterfly I think of him and smile. It took some time for the tears to be replaced with a smile, but it does come. I wish I had gotten to know Eric better, everyone here that did seems to be better for it.
    Sending you prayers and hugs,
    Chriss

    Ashley
    God bless. We all loved eric. He is watching over us from above in his new beautiful world.. Hang on to the beautiful memories.
  • Paula G.
    Paula G. Member Posts: 596
    I always looked forward to
    I always looked forward to reading his post. He was great! I am sorry you lost him to this awful stuff.

    I am going through this process now with my husban and it hurts so much. I can understand wanting your brother back. This was a great post. Love to you and your family. Paula
  • AceSFO
    AceSFO Member Posts: 229
    Hi, Ashley,
    My heart goes

    Hi, Ashley,

    My heart goes out to you and the rest of your family. I'm so grateful for having known your brother however briefly, through this site. I only wish I could have met him in person. He and I connected a while back and got in cahoots to pull a little caper for one of the other members of the board here, and had a blast doing it. He was a great guy and I know he'll live on in certain gestures and phrases amongst your family and you'll always have your memories of him.

    Sending you strength and light and love,

    Adrian
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028
    Eric was a life force here....
    ...and still continues on....

    He was always good for a giggle, and SUCH a caring, wonderful man when someone desperatly needed his words of support.

    I have been on this site for many years, and there are a few that stick in my heart...Eric is one of them.

    I, too, have experienced loss, so if you need a shoulder, don't hesitate! Now that I know 'who' you are, I will look for your posts...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • immbeloved
    immbeloved Member Posts: 37
    KathiM said:

    Eric was a life force here....
    ...and still continues on....

    He was always good for a giggle, and SUCH a caring, wonderful man when someone desperatly needed his words of support.

    I have been on this site for many years, and there are a few that stick in my heart...Eric is one of them.

    I, too, have experienced loss, so if you need a shoulder, don't hesitate! Now that I know 'who' you are, I will look for your posts...

    Hugs, Kathi

    just met him here
    i am new to colon cancer, liver mets, and just joined the board but know enough about eric to feel a kindred spirit with him. i pray he went peacefully. he obviously had a loving family.
    God bless you.

    amber
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673
    Ashley
    Come here anytime for comfort or just to visit. You are part of our family.

    Thanks for sharing more about Eric with us. I sure have missed seeing his witty, wonderful posts. He came up with some outrageously funny posts for us to enjoy. His love of family was very obvious; he talked about many of you, including watching movies with this nieces (are those your daughters?). I was drawn to Eric from the beginning; he reminds me in looks of one of my nephews. But then I got to "know" Eric + was drawn to his personality - brave, funny, kind.... I glad if we were a comfort to him; he sure was a comfort to us. Please know I am thinking of you, your family, and of course Eric. Take good care.
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111
    Dear Ashley:
    I'm so sorry you lost your brother Eric. While his pain is now gone, your pain will linger on. In the future, you will think of your brother Eric and through the tears you will smile while thinking of things he did that made you smile.

    Please take comfort in the fact that Eric's pain and suffering has ended, that he spoke of his family so lovingly often referring to his mom as his angel.

    I'm so very sorry for your loss and the world's loss of Eric.

    Take care - Tina
  • sfmarie
    sfmarie Member Posts: 602
    I know how you feel
    Ashley,
    As I lost my sister a few months ago to this awful disease. I came here for advice, hope, comfort and Eric gave me all of that and more! He sounds like an amazing brother and I know how much you will miss him. I too am glad the suffering is over but know what you mean by wanting him back.
    Sending prayers to you and your family. Peace and strength during this most difficult time.
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Knew the Man...
    Hi Ashley

    I met your brother through this site and we did get to meet face to face on several occasions. I came to the hospital for him and he came to the hospital for me. We used to email frequently when he was well.

    Eric used to be about humor, but I saw a deeper side to him through some of his posts and many of our talks. He had a certain introspection to him for someone so young. I've met your Mom too and just in love with her...the sweetest mom that I know.

    Jennie and I came by to see Eric about a week before he passed on - he was having one of his good days and was able to recognize us both and we talked about a couple of topics and he cracked a joke and I saw a flash of his ol' wit.

    I'll miss him and I know things will never be the same for you, but that you will persevere. I lost my only sister to a tragedy back in '86 and when I see the love between a brother and a sister, well, it just warms my heart...it's a special bond and a special love. Both of you had that!


    Thank you for your post and I hope as the days pass, the tears will be replaced slowly with smiles and the good memories that you all shared.

    -Craig
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787
    Sundanceh said:

    Knew the Man...
    Hi Ashley

    I met your brother through this site and we did get to meet face to face on several occasions. I came to the hospital for him and he came to the hospital for me. We used to email frequently when he was well.

    Eric used to be about humor, but I saw a deeper side to him through some of his posts and many of our talks. He had a certain introspection to him for someone so young. I've met your Mom too and just in love with her...the sweetest mom that I know.

    Jennie and I came by to see Eric about a week before he passed on - he was having one of his good days and was able to recognize us both and we talked about a couple of topics and he cracked a joke and I saw a flash of his ol' wit.

    I'll miss him and I know things will never be the same for you, but that you will persevere. I lost my only sister to a tragedy back in '86 and when I see the love between a brother and a sister, well, it just warms my heart...it's a special bond and a special love. Both of you had that!


    Thank you for your post and I hope as the days pass, the tears will be replaced slowly with smiles and the good memories that you all shared.

    -Craig

    Ashley
    Hi.... I know that hug you are speaking of. When Craig and I came to visit Eric the week before he passed..... I went to give him a hug..from me and all THIS semi family who love him SO much... I was surprised by the strength he held in that hug and the feeling that came over me.... like everything...including him.... was going to be alright. We were so blessed to get that time with him. I hope your Ma is doing ok and please.... you come to this board anytime and share with us. Take care.

    Jennie
  • braelee2
    braelee2 Member Posts: 130
    Ashley
    I'm so sorry about Eric's Death. As you can seen he has touched so many lives, not all of us had the pleasure of knowing him very long. But he touch all of us in one way or another. made us laugh, cry, comfort us, or just gave us hope. He was a great person. And your family has been blessed with such a wonderful man. Just Remember the good times you had with him. ( My pastor said to me when my Uncle passed away Do the Three T's
    1. Talk (about how great he was)
    2. Time,
    3. Tears ( cry about the good and the bad)