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Exhausted and feel like I am going to h*ll

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

sigh...........

So, 4 weeks yesterday my mother lost her short 7 month battle with extensive SCLC. Then a mere 2 days later, my mother in law was put on hospice care.

I feel very bitter for not being able to have "my time"....I know in my heart that that is awful, but that is how I feel.

My whole life, I have always had to be the strong one so everyone else could be ok.....when the h*ll is it my turn? Why must I always put others ahead of me? I am NOT a marter so what gives?

I am so conflicted!!!

MIL is hanging on (EC) although it boggles everyone, hospice and all at this point. Next Saturday we are having a Celebration of moms life......what if MIL passes Friday? Saturday??

I need strength so badly.........

Elysia

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Elysia,
You are a good person! You took care of your mom so well. It's too bad that now it's your mother-in-laws turn. Isn't anyone else helping you so you can take some time for yourself?
Being a caretaker is so stressful. I only did it for 2 months with my husband, but I was so stressed and it didn't hit me till after he died. Then I felt like I was going to lose it more than once. Are you taking anything to help you with this stress? You have to take care of yourself too. Maybe as long as she's in hospice, you could take a break and go out for lunch with some friends or someone. RELAX!!! Don't want you going to h--l girl!!!
"Carole"

Cindy Bear
Posts: 570
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi Elysia. Hang in there. I am so sorry you are going thru this right now and yes being a caretaker is exhausting. We lost my mom to Uterine Cancer last year after a short 4 mos. battle and My BIL this August to Esoph cancer. It's a brutal cancer Like your MIL, he hung on for 18 mos. (He was diag as stage IV and they only gave him 6 mos. ) He fought a hard fight and at 58 he wasn't ready to die. It took a great toll on my SIL. Enlist the help of family and friends if possible, and try to find some quiet time for yourself.. even if it's just an hour or two a day. Shop, watch an old movie, go for a walk in the park, a drive.
Good luck to you, Hugs, Cindy

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

My mother in law lost her battle this morning....1 month and 1 day after my mother....please give us peace and healing now............

stayingcalm's picture
stayingcalm
Posts: 656
Joined: Feb 2007

I'm so sorry. Just want you to know I'll be thinking of you.
stayingcalm

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1576
Joined: May 2009

Elysia, I'm so sorry for all the pain you have been through recently. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.

My best to you and your family,
Glenna

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