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Husband diagnosed with Mantle Cell Lymphoma

teric506
Posts: 1
Joined: Oct 2010

Hello,

My husband was recently diagnosed with Mantle Cell Lymphoma. He is 36 and has always been really healthy. We have two autistic children and the whole family is having a hard time dealing with the news and we are scared to death. He actually started chemo on Tuesday. He is having outpatient chemo once every three weeks for 3 rounds and then he will have inpatient chemo once a month for 3 rounds and then he is having stem cell replacement. It's hard for me to gauge how he is really feeling because he internalizes everything and all he says is "it is what it is" and "I am just along for the ride". Is this typical? I want to be able to help him through this but cant seen to get through to him and I cant show him how upset I am because then he will worry about me and I just want him to concentrate on getting better. We also have the children to deal with and they seem to be dealing with it the same way as my husband is. I am not sure how to get everyone through this and just want to get some input from people who have been in similar situations. I guess I just want to know what to expect especially from the stem cell replacement.

Teri

COBRA666's picture
COBRA666
Posts: 2413
Joined: May 2010

Teri,
I have used this cliche' on this site before. Its like ducks on a pond, "Cool and calm sitting on the water, but paddling like hell underneath." Sometimes it is hard to get thru to people like this because they know they are going thru the unknown and they really don't know how to handle the situation, so this is how they avoid it. Hopefully he will come around soon. Maybe you could suggest to him to get on this site. Don't be be surprised if he refuses. It is another way to avoid the situation. What he is going thru is actually pretty normal. Not everyone handles it this way,but some do. Good luck and keep posting,he may come around and open up and we want to help you cope with this too. John
(FNHL-1-4A-5/10)

allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3184
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi Teri,
For the first few weeks after I was diagnosed with cancer my husband would not even use the word. He would refer to my cancer as "this stuff or that stuff"..example.."Will this stuff make you really sick?" "Will that stuff last the rest of your life?" He just couldn't say "CANCER". It took about a month and a couple of good sit down conversations, (often emotional and heated) between the two of us before he finally could accept that I have cancer and there would always be the possibility of it coming back. What really changed everything for us was when I found this group. Once he was able to relate to others going through what we were going through and hear their stories, see their pictures and over time learn their names, he became a changed man. Now he walks through the door from work and gives me a quick kiss and will say.."How's Vinny's counts today, or "Anything new going on with John?" I truely hope you can get your husband to visit this group, but if you can't, then by all means you keep posting and get the support which you can then pass on to him. Give it time and be patient...this cancer journey is very scary and emotional, but it is do-able, and we are here to help you and your husband through it. I'll add you to my prayers and will keep good positive thoughts for you and your family.
Take care and keep posting...Love...Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)>=Follicular Non-Hodkins Lymphoma...Grade 2 Stage 3...Type A...Diagnosed in June/10. Some of us type this out at the end of our posts to help others that may be experiencing a tad bit of "chemo brain" to remember what type of cancer we are each dealing with...strictly a voluntary thing. :0)

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