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A year ago

Jaylo969
Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
A year ago today I went to my family doctor with what I thought was a pulled stomach muscle. He immediately sent me to a surgeon who promptly sent me to hospital admitting.

It is 8:00 PM here...about the time I was taken for a cat scan last year.What a horrible, horrible day that was!The rest is history...a fist sized tumor,13 days in hospital, complete ascending colon removed along with various other body parts. Finally sent home with Cipro the day after incision started putrifying.Chemo commenced 6 weeks later and oh my gosh what an experience THAT was!!

It has been a long,hard,sad year for our family.Not just my illness, but losing both parents within 7 weeks of one another has really hit me hard.But I am alive and still kicking and for that I am so thankful.Just hoping to get my head together soon.

I am very thankful for this forum and all of the wonderful people who are members of this special group. Who else could read this post and really understand the words left unwritten but you guys?

Best wishes to us all!

-Pat

Comments

  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020
    I'm
    I'm sorry you had to find out about the cancer the way you did,but I don't think there is a good way.I am also sorry about your parents,but you are still alive,and fighting,and your parents would want it that way.So keep on fighting the cancer,and what ever we can do to help you get your head together,let us know,or even just to vent.Good luck.
  • Kerry S
    Kerry S Member Posts: 606
    Sure does make our cancer journey a little easier
    Pat darlin,
    You hit the nail on the head with the comment of the unwritten words. I think we are all blessed to have the bond we have. Sure does make our cancer journey a little easier.

    Kerry
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331
    Kerry S said:

    Sure does make our cancer journey a little easier
    Pat darlin,
    You hit the nail on the head with the comment of the unwritten words. I think we are all blessed to have the bond we have. Sure does make our cancer journey a little easier.

    Kerry

    Kerry you always with your pipe mate!
    did any body told you "smoke can damage seriously your health" lol!
    Have fun my friend'
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,036
    Rough time for you
    Hey, Pat.

    You've definitely had a rough year. I'm praying things will be on the upswing now. I feel sad when I read the portion about being diagnosed. I remember my diagnosis as being such a shock and feeling very small and helpless.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673
    Pat
    You have had a really tough year! I am glad you are doing well physically + sorry you have so much to deal with emotionally - losing both parents in such a short time has to be extremely difficult. I know you were a caregiver for your Dad even before your cancer was diagnosed. I bet your parents thought you are an angel. You were there for them even though you had health issues yourself. It is nice to see you back; I missed you even though I knew what you were dealing with. You are right about this forum; it is amazing. Whoever dreampt this up deserves a medal(gold)!
  • chicoturner
    chicoturner Member Posts: 282
    Hi Pat, congrats on making
    Hi Pat, congrats on making it through a tough year!! I lost my parents within a two week period and although they had both been having health issues, it was difficult. I was not diagnosed at that time, so I can't imagine all you have been dealing with. Hang in there, this year will be so much better! You will be stronger and healthier! Best to you. Jean
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624
    Pat
    Just sending my love your way.
    Winter Marie
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342
    Pat
    Pat,
    You have had a very tough year. I know what you mean about those first days and weeks. **** and I were just talking about those days tonight. Losing both your folks so close together must have been so very, very hard. Please know I am thinking about you and saying a prayer.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • Jaylo969
    Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824

    Pat
    Pat,
    You have had a very tough year. I know what you mean about those first days and weeks. **** and I were just talking about those days tonight. Losing both your folks so close together must have been so very, very hard. Please know I am thinking about you and saying a prayer.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Thank you
    Everyone for your kind remarks.Much needed and appreciated.

    -Pat
  • Lori-S
    Lori-S Member Posts: 1,277
    Pat
    I am so sorry for your horrendous year. My prayers are with you as you go through this time. I've had quite a ride in 2010 with the losses of family and friends and the cancer diagnosis as well so I can really relate. Hang in there, we are still here and breathing. Big HUGS to you!
  • TLG320
    TLG320 Member Posts: 167
    Wow - crazy coincidences
    Pat,
    My husband, also a stage 2a, was diagnosed via colonscopy on October 15, 2009. Pathology confirmed it the following Monday. His surgery which removed his ascending colon, happened on November 9th. Although he'd lost his father some years ago, his mother just passed away on August 19, 2010.

    Lots of crazy similarities, huh?

    My husband's CT and colonoscopy are both coming up in the next few weeks. Happily his CEA yesterday was 1.5!

    While our situations aren't identical, please know that you've got two people here in Maryland who can really empathize with you about what a horrible year it was. Here's hoping and praying the remainder of 2010 and 2011 bring nothing but happiness and health for all!

    Love and good health to you!
    Tashina
  • Jaylo969
    Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824
    TLG320 said:

    Wow - crazy coincidences
    Pat,
    My husband, also a stage 2a, was diagnosed via colonscopy on October 15, 2009. Pathology confirmed it the following Monday. His surgery which removed his ascending colon, happened on November 9th. Although he'd lost his father some years ago, his mother just passed away on August 19, 2010.

    Lots of crazy similarities, huh?

    My husband's CT and colonoscopy are both coming up in the next few weeks. Happily his CEA yesterday was 1.5!

    While our situations aren't identical, please know that you've got two people here in Maryland who can really empathize with you about what a horrible year it was. Here's hoping and praying the remainder of 2010 and 2011 bring nothing but happiness and health for all!

    Love and good health to you!
    Tashina

    Tashina
    I read your info and your husband and I have a lot in common as you said. My only symptom was also anemia, that is until it got very close to rupturing. That is why I got admitted to hospital the same day I saw the surgeon. I didn't make it through 12 rounds of chemo...made it through 9 and my onc thinks that was enough.I had a colonoscopy in April and had 2 new polyps in the descending colon and one close to the rectal area, so I have to have another one year from that date. I had my scan in August and got the all clear.The plan is to have a scan every year.

    I so sorry about your husband's Mom dying on Aug.19th. My dad passed away on Aug.15th and my Mom on Oct.3rd.

    Yes, let us hope for a calmer upcoming year.Thank you for the encouragement.Always much appreciated.

    -Pat
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,712 **
    Diagnosis
    Don't think that anyone ever forgets the day that they got the news. Just look at it as you got through this past year and you did it and yes, you are still here. Sorry about your parents. That had to have been such a tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May this upcoming year be better for you.

    Kim
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043

    Diagnosis
    Don't think that anyone ever forgets the day that they got the news. Just look at it as you got through this past year and you did it and yes, you are still here. Sorry about your parents. That had to have been such a tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May this upcoming year be better for you.

    Kim

    Jaylo.......My thoughts for you are in sorrow for your losses ..
    But, let me tell you a very short story....

    My mom, 83, is still with us and every time something goes on with me she is terribly upset. She just told my sister that for two years now since my diagnosis she has been mortified and sick to her stomach that something is going to happen to me, that I may not be telling her everything. Well, I have, but she lost a daughter at age 6 as I a sister so she is very very heartbroken to see me in the position with cancer I am in. She told my sister that she could not bear losing another child. Parents aren't suppose to outlive their children, so even though loss of my mother would be a terrible blow, I especially don't want her to have to go through the loss of another child (which would be me) so in some sort of way I have assured myself that I won't allow anything to happen to me until my mother passes on. It may sound a little odd that I should think this but in reality when she passes on then she will be ok for I know where she is going and I lose the burden of worrying about her hurting emotionally by losing another child. I guess its something that you have to work out for yourself but if maybe you look at all the memories that you have and see that neither of your parents had to watch or know how much you were suffering then in some strange way it is a type of blessing for them, and for you as well knowing that they do not suffer for you. I look at it as if it were my child instead of me, I couldn't stand the agony of it either. As a patient and not a caregiver we know what we can and can't take, caregivers and parents are most gracious and ever present, but most times suffer more than we do, from a feeling of helplessness, or simply fear of not doing the right things when in reality all they need is to just be there. It is for me these reasons that parents should pass on before their children, and somehow we have to see the blessing in this, for them as well as for us, and find a balance we can live with, then continue to live....Love Hope, and Peace for you, Clift
  • TLG320
    TLG320 Member Posts: 167
    Jaylo969 said:

    Tashina
    I read your info and your husband and I have a lot in common as you said. My only symptom was also anemia, that is until it got very close to rupturing. That is why I got admitted to hospital the same day I saw the surgeon. I didn't make it through 12 rounds of chemo...made it through 9 and my onc thinks that was enough.I had a colonoscopy in April and had 2 new polyps in the descending colon and one close to the rectal area, so I have to have another one year from that date. I had my scan in August and got the all clear.The plan is to have a scan every year.

    I so sorry about your husband's Mom dying on Aug.19th. My dad passed away on Aug.15th and my Mom on Oct.3rd.

    Yes, let us hope for a calmer upcoming year.Thank you for the encouragement.Always much appreciated.

    -Pat

    One more wacky similarity
    My husband had his first colonscopy in July of 2009 when he was in the hospital for his anemia (he had to have 6 bags of blood) and got the all clear. The doctors actually missed the "tangerine-sized" tumor in his ascending colon! Thank God he has a great primary care doctor who hooked him up with an agressive gastroenterologist after he was released from the hospital. After an uneventful capsule endoscopy, his gastroenterologist insisted on another colonoscopy in October 2009 and he found the tumor right away.

    Your situation and my husband's really makes me question how thorough some doctors are with colonoscopies. I wonder how many thoroughly examine the ascending colon - and how many tumors are not found during routine colonoscopies - until they've metasticized and/or become symptomatic.

    You're in my prayers, Pat. I know the upcoming holidays will likely be particularly sad for you this year. I hope that you are able to find some comfort knowing that your parents are at peace together and that you were able to be there for them until the very end.

    -Tashina
  • Kathryn_in_MN
    Kathryn_in_MN Member Posts: 1,252
    Tough year
    You've had a tough year, but you've shown you are tougher than anything that comes your way! Look at all you've endured. You can make it through anything!

    I'm sorry you've had such a hard time. I send you a big hug as you reflect back on the most difficult year of your life. Here's hoping for all future years to be MUCH easier!
  • Jaylo969
    Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824
    TLG320 said:

    One more wacky similarity
    My husband had his first colonscopy in July of 2009 when he was in the hospital for his anemia (he had to have 6 bags of blood) and got the all clear. The doctors actually missed the "tangerine-sized" tumor in his ascending colon! Thank God he has a great primary care doctor who hooked him up with an agressive gastroenterologist after he was released from the hospital. After an uneventful capsule endoscopy, his gastroenterologist insisted on another colonoscopy in October 2009 and he found the tumor right away.

    Your situation and my husband's really makes me question how thorough some doctors are with colonoscopies. I wonder how many thoroughly examine the ascending colon - and how many tumors are not found during routine colonoscopies - until they've metasticized and/or become symptomatic.

    You're in my prayers, Pat. I know the upcoming holidays will likely be particularly sad for you this year. I hope that you are able to find some comfort knowing that your parents are at peace together and that you were able to be there for them until the very end.

    -Tashina

    Tashina -- right side cancers
    Here are a few links that might answer some of your questions.I don't know how to make a 'clickable' link on this site so you will have to copy/paste.

    http://news.cancerconnect.com/colonoscopy-fails-to-identify-many-colorectal-cancers/

    http://www.gastrojournal.org/article/S0016-5085(09)00042-0/fulltext

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/16/health/16cancer.html?_r=1
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331
    yeah , there are not too many people who are capable to
    understand what and whow we feel, thats why this board is such a good company to me despite i have all my failly support , but some times they cant understand , my worries , fears and sadness!
    This is a great place to be! Its been a horrible year to me too Pat but let,s look
    foreward with hope and feith!
    Love you all .
  • Aud
    Aud Member Posts: 479
    Pat
    you have certainly had a tough, trying year. my thoughts are with you.
    ~Aud
  • LOUSWIFT
    LOUSWIFT Member Posts: 371
    Lousey Year
    My baby sister who is far more wise than I told me "God never gives you more than you can handle". In my line of work with what I've seen and been through...I'm not sure that is true. I have noticed that sometimes life balances the good and the bad and sometimes that is enough to get you through. All the best Lou
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043
    LOUSWIFT said:

    Lousey Year
    My baby sister who is far more wise than I told me "God never gives you more than you can handle". In my line of work with what I've seen and been through...I'm not sure that is true. I have noticed that sometimes life balances the good and the bad and sometimes that is enough to get you through. All the best Lou

    He never says He won't give you more than you can handle
    The free will He gives you is what gives you more than you can handle. He is there to make sure that if needed all you have to do is ask Him for help, He won't do the work for you though...........
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331
    Buzzard said:

    He never says He won't give you more than you can handle
    The free will He gives you is what gives you more than you can handle. He is there to make sure that if needed all you have to do is ask Him for help, He won't do the work for you though...........

    I understand you Lou ! I'm catholic believer , but what happen
    this year makes me think about what sense has to Him to makes us carry with much,much,much,more we can handle, in my case ,The cancer ,a recurrence ,my own company recently in chapter 11, and last week my wife was diagnosed with a breast cancer, Thanks Him so THANKS GOD,
    after been operated it result a faulse Alarm ..but can you imagine what a month!!!!!What's the sense for all of this? Well despite all l continue with faith and thanksgiving him ......some times don't know what! DespiteToday l got a good reason as we have been told about the good news about
    my wife.Despite all that I believe in him more than before and lately if have time l try to attend to mass every day in a little church next to my home, well every time I go I leave church feeling much better.
    Sorry for this heavy thoughts but just by chance today was the day to me to talk about that, (I usually don't speak about this things i prefer to keep it with me).
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673
    pepebcn said:

    I understand you Lou ! I'm catholic believer , but what happen
    this year makes me think about what sense has to Him to makes us carry with much,much,much,more we can handle, in my case ,The cancer ,a recurrence ,my own company recently in chapter 11, and last week my wife was diagnosed with a breast cancer, Thanks Him so THANKS GOD,
    after been operated it result a faulse Alarm ..but can you imagine what a month!!!!!What's the sense for all of this? Well despite all l continue with faith and thanksgiving him ......some times don't know what! DespiteToday l got a good reason as we have been told about the good news about
    my wife.Despite all that I believe in him more than before and lately if have time l try to attend to mass every day in a little church next to my home, well every time I go I leave church feeling much better.
    Sorry for this heavy thoughts but just by chance today was the day to me to talk about that, (I usually don't speak about this things i prefer to keep it with me).

    pepe
    Do you mean they thought your wife had breast cancer but she doesn't?
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331
    AnneCan said:

    pepe
    Do you mean they thought your wife had breast cancer but she doesn't?

    yes they were very sure after mammography , as much as they
    prefer to make a mastectomy and then the biopsy afterwards, but doctors were very pessimistic, thanks God ,yes in this case haha, false alarm but can you imagine what a couple of weeks?So in those cases to whom do we have to blame?
    Hugs.
  • Lori-S
    Lori-S Member Posts: 1,277
    pepebcn said:

    yes they were very sure after mammography , as much as they
    prefer to make a mastectomy and then the biopsy afterwards, but doctors were very pessimistic, thanks God ,yes in this case haha, false alarm but can you imagine what a couple of weeks?So in those cases to whom do we have to blame?
    Hugs.

    Pepe
    I am like you too. I keep things to myself most of the time. I get false alarms with mamograms too and am so tired of them, the cancer scares and biopies every year that I haven't had one in a couple of years. Now that I am watched with the colon cancer I figure they might catch breast cancer if it really comes up. I know, sounds stupid but, it's been every year for what seems like forever going through breast biopsies.

    I'm sorry for your tough time here recently. Seems like this has been one of those years for many. Worse one for me ever. Hang in there. I am so glad that Tote is OK. Give each other a big HUG!

    I've taken to thinking of the life challenges as hilo in the tapicería of my life. I get them and am responsible to tramar them into the tela that I will leave behind one day. Your faith will color your life in a positive way. Mantener la fe.
    (hope I got the Spanish right!)
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331
    Lori-S said:

    Pepe
    I am like you too. I keep things to myself most of the time. I get false alarms with mamograms too and am so tired of them, the cancer scares and biopies every year that I haven't had one in a couple of years. Now that I am watched with the colon cancer I figure they might catch breast cancer if it really comes up. I know, sounds stupid but, it's been every year for what seems like forever going through breast biopsies.

    I'm sorry for your tough time here recently. Seems like this has been one of those years for many. Worse one for me ever. Hang in there. I am so glad that Tote is OK. Give each other a big HUG!

    I've taken to thinking of the life challenges as hilo in the tapicería of my life. I get them and am responsible to tramar them into the tela that I will leave behind one day. Your faith will color your life in a positive way. Mantener la fe.
    (hope I got the Spanish right!)

    Thank you Lori
    and your Spanish superb!
    What a year man!
    Hugs.
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673
    pepebcn said:

    Thank you Lori
    and your Spanish superb!
    What a year man!
    Hugs.

    Wow!
    I am so glad that turned out to be a false alarm, but it sure must have been stressful.
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331
    AnneCan said:

    Wow!
    I am so glad that turned out to be a false alarm, but it sure must have been stressful.

    Horrible Anne Horrible,
    hope you didn't notice it last days!
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946
    Pat...
    What a cruddy year it's been in your life. Losing your parents so close to each other has go to be REALLY hard on a person.

    I think we're all thankful for this forum and the understanding people that we have here.

    Big hugs to you...

    Holly
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673
    pepebcn said:

    Horrible Anne Horrible,
    hope you didn't notice it last days!

    No
    I just thought you weren't here as often. Could this be part of the reason you weren't sleeping very well?