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ktlcs's picture
Posts: 360
Joined: Jan 2010

Today would have been my wedding anniversary, 24 years. Since I started couseling and meds I have been doing a little better, but today it all came crashing down on me again. I still can't believe he's not here any longer. I basically just stayed in bed most of the day. I know there are going to be a lot of "firsts" as the holidays approach. I just want to get to a place where I can remember these occassions as happy times rather than dissolve into tears


Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

I'm so sorry you had a bad day. I had my hubby for our 46th anniversary last February and also my birthday on Mar. 10th. We celebrated our grandsons 6th birthday on March 22 and my husband passed away on the 25th. So, I, too am having alot of firsts alone and am not looking forward to the holidays at all. No one understands unless they've been through this and there are so many of us on this site who have, so we'll all be here for you. Take care of yourself!
One who knows, Carole

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

Our anniversary was very hard, too. I don't think there is any way around it. Hard days happen. Time does help. I think tears help, too. We need to shed those to help us become whole again. I don't think we can hurry this process. Next week will be one year since I lost Doug. It is really hard to believe that it has been that long and yet it seems like forever. Take care of yourself and cut yourself some slack. Take it one day at a time. Fay

Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

My husband on June 14, followed by father's day, his birthday on the 17th and our 32nd anniversary on the 24th. I think there was so much going on, everything was a blur. I am expecting the first of everything will be hard...the first autumn, first holidays, birthdays, etc. I guess we just hold on and forge ahead. Hang in there, these sad feelings won't last forever.

Posts: 102
Joined: Sep 2009

Hi Kathy

I too want to get to that place where it does not hurt so much. I have been finding it very hard to deal with the day to day. This time last year, my husband started deteriorating quite drastically and we eventually lost him on dec 4. I "hit the wall" on Monday and had to have a couple of days off work because I was just spent. Nothing left in the tank because of the emotional exhaustion. My GP has suggested going back to grief counselling and I am thinking of reducing my workload to a nine day fortnight. Something has to give. I can't continue not functioning.
I have finalised arrangements for the anniversary service we will have in the temple a week before his actual death anniversary. I told my aunt about the arrangements and her response was "my how quickly a year has passed hasn't it?". It has been the toughest year yet for me and it hasn't dragged but it hasn't gone fast either. I am not looking forward to anything at the end of the year so no its has not gone fast or slow but the implication behind her comment that the year has just breezed past got me really upset.

Oh well...to better days ahead...


Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

My Terry died 4 months ago today. I can't believe it has already been 4 months, and I can't believe it has only been 4 months. Time just doesn't seem to mean anything now. I think it gets harder every day, the loneliness and the reality that he will not be walking through the door. My 85 yr. old mother was just diagnosed with breast cancer with lymph node involvement. Not only am I worried about her prognosis, but will not have my husband's support through this. Next week I will start back with the counselor I was seeing when Terry was first diagnosed. Part of this whole process is recognizing when you need help and finding it. Yes...to better days ahead.

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