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Trip to His Folks

Jan Trinks's picture
Jan Trinks
Posts: 477
Joined: Apr 2009

Hi all!

Basketcase here. I'm leaving after church this morning to go to NC to see Charlie's family. This will be my first trip in without him. (Actually he's going with me, his mother wants me to bring the urn!. I know it will be hard at first but I need to get this first one behind me. I'm doing okay, it's just so hard. I miss him so much. This past week has been an up and down one. My brother came down to do some work I needed done around the house and I've found out just how pampered I've been for 35 years! I'm taking pictures to his mother that were taken before he was cremated (now, I'm not into taking pictures of dead people), but (and I don't know whether I've mentioned this to y'all before or not) when his brother, his wife and I saw him at the funeral home the morning after he passed away and we were done making the arrangements, when I looked at him I noticed this familiar half grin on his face (that familiar smartass grin that I've known for 37 years) I asked the man who was handling everything if they had done that and he said no! My brother and sister in law (who had seen him before they came to the hospital to pick him up) said, "No that grin was not there last night!" I took my best friend back over there (as she had seen him too before the funeral home got there!) and she was amazed too! We all take this as a sign from above that everything is all right. Anyway, his mother is 81 and did not see him before the cremation and she's asked me a 1000 times if we took pictures, so she see will them finally. Hopefully this will give her some closure. SHe had a heart attack in Jan. and was in a rehab facility for two months and her short term memory is not good. Anyway, please remember me and say a prayer as this will be hard for all of us but we'll get through it. I don't think this gets any easier, but we have to go on and do what we all know he would want us to do. THanks so much for listening and y'all are in my prayers daily. I will report back as to how everything went when I get back. Hope everyone is doing okay. God Bless!

Jan Trinks

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1576
Joined: May 2009

Happy to hear that you are able to keep yourself surrounded by family and friends so you are not alone all the time. It's times like these that we are truly grateful for having them.

I can only imagine how hard this will be for you to see his family for the first time since his passing but know in your heart that it will help them and it's what Charlie would want you to do.

Got goose bumps reading about his half smile, I think he's trying to tell you he is at peace now and wants you to move forward with your life. You're an incredibly strong woman and you will make it through this.

You will always be in my prayers.

Stay well and stay in touch,

Posts: 665
Joined: Apr 2010

It is great to hear from you! This is a difficult journey that you are taking, however, the comfort of Charlie's family will help you through! I do understand the picture of Charlie, as we took one of my grandmother when she passed, for my sister who could not attend because of weather. I so admire your strength & courage. May you have a safe trip & God Bless!

Kimba1505's picture
Posts: 557
Joined: Apr 2010

I really believe in the mysterious signals we can get from those we love and who have passed. Only someone who truly knows Charlie would pick up on that subtle little change. Whatever the little smile meant when he was living...he has communicated that to you one more time.
You will probably read this after you have returned from Charlies's folks, unless you have computer access there. My best to you as you take these necessary steps as you move through the grief process.

kimmygarland's picture
Posts: 313
Joined: Aug 2009

Safe travel and may your trip be a comforting one for you and his family.

That is a wonderful story about the quirky grin... Like Kimba, I believe we are given signs.

Take Care.

zinniemay's picture
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

The pratice of taking pictures of the dead started many many years ago. My family does this and I always felt a little strange by it. But I found out why , And I understand it more.
Way back when, people could not afford to take pictures of their family , They were most time poorer people. So when some one died they would have a picture took. Some times this would be the only picture ever took of the person. I don't like the pratice but in some way wish they had done this I never seen or met grandfather.I never seen any picture of him.
Maybe Charlie knew him mom would want to see his picture.

Hondo's picture
Posts: 6643
Joined: Apr 2009

We are all here with you in our prayers, take care and have a safe trip, God be with you

friend of Bill
Posts: 87
Joined: Mar 2010

I believe the deceased look on and cheer. You are on a thoughtful and kind mission of mercy and grief-healing to your mother-in-law.


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