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Warning this is long and sad

kayebadoe's picture
kayebadoe
Posts: 81
Joined: May 2010

I am at my end, I don't know how much more I can take. Many of you know my husband had a stroke and now has had 2 brain surgeries and another to remove a pick line that went thru his heart.He is home but requires 24/7 looking after. He has the mentality of a 2 year old and I don't know if it will get better. and he can get mean. Top it off with my cancer and today is my 7th treatment. I also found out this week that my Service dog of 8 years has bone cancer and I will have to put her down. I really want them to put me down too. I don't know how much more I can take!!! Its so over whelming. I NEED SUPPORT GUYS.....PLEASE

yesyes2
Posts: 590
Joined: Jul 2009

Oh Kay, I just want to hold you in my arms and make it better. I feel so helpless and sad for you. You certainly have had more on your plate than anyone should very have to bare. Is there anyone, family, friends, social workers who could give you some assistance? Can you get some home health nurses in? My brother in law has been sick with cancer and other health issues for a very long time and my sister has had to brunt most of the care for him so I am aware how very difficult it can be. I wish I could really do something to help you but know you are in my prayers and thoughts. Thinking of you, Leslie

Newfoundcancer
Posts: 40
Joined: Jun 2010

Life is like a roller coaster,we have to take what it throws at us.
What I do, so I dont get depressed and loose hope. I take a couple of minutes a day and remember
the happy times I have had. And thank the lord for all the fond memories that he gave me in the past and hopefully in the future.

Hang in there girl, theres always light at the end of every tunnel.

vinny59's picture
vinny59
Posts: 1032
Joined: Nov 2006

I know that it is so easy to say be strong and things will get better, but it's so hard for you to coupe with all this. Is there anyway to get help, I know everything cost money, but if you can get someone in for a couple day's to help you out. Know that life is worth living no matter how bad it gets. I will be praying for you and your husband.... Vinny

allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3184
Joined: Jul 2010

Dear Kaye,
I can't imagine the stress and hardship you are going through as I've never been in a situation as yours. I do know that from everything you have posted you are a very special person. Just looking at your smiling picture makes me automatically wish you were a friend that lived close by that I could share fun times with. Your plate is so full and you must get some help in your life to ease this pain your going through. Talk to your chemo nurse at your clinic or your doctor because they know the right people for you to call. I wish I lived by you so I could help you. Please keep us informed and if you need someone to talk with I will give you my phone #. You can e-mail me at reidst@charter.net. I'll keep you in my prayers. Keep reaching out...people are here for you!
Love...Sue

merrywinner's picture
merrywinner
Posts: 627
Joined: Aug 2009

Oh my goodness Kaye. You leave me speechless. You indeed must be a very special person to be coping with all of this. Do you have any help at all? Like others if I could help you I would. I will pray like crazy and be here for support but I hope you have people. You need a break to recharge. Please take care of yourself and feel free to vent it all here. Many blessings to you. Mary

dixiegirl's picture
dixiegirl
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

I will always keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I cannot imagine how hard it is for you. I am so sorry.

Just take a breath at a time, a baby step forward, and know that God hears our prayers and that those of us here are doing what we can to help take a load off. I don't have the answers for the problems you are living right now, but know that you are NOT alone.

If you need someone to talk to, please let me know and I'll be happy to call you. Be careful honey, and congratulations on being ALMOST done. You CAN do this!

Take care sweetie.

Beth

onlytoday's picture
onlytoday
Posts: 603
Joined: Jun 2010

Kaye,

I am so sorry to hear all that you are going through. I can't imagine the pain that you are feeling. I do know that you are strong and will come through this. Life is good and you have much to do and share. You have inspired me along my journey and I know that you have done the same for others and will continue to do so. You are in my thoughts and prayers. May God hold you and give you the strength for these days.

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1162
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi kaye,
I am so sorry for everything that is going on right now. Life can be so hard and the challenge is to get through it one day at a time. Sometimes it's one hour at a time or even the next few minutes. Try not to get to far ahead of yourself. Stay as focused as you can.
I have a few suggestions, you may have tried already.
Is there a senior home that offers respite care , maybe a few days of not having to give full time care to your husband might help.
What about a church group, or other group who could give you some time off.
I know that you did the nursing home route, but what about another one.
Sounds like you really just need a break...
About your dog, what about meds to help her out as long as possible. I would find it so very hard to deal with that on top of cancer and a sick husband. What a huge amount on your shoulders.
I truly understand the overwhelming part. I feel that way so much of the time. I gather my strength from all of you..
If you would want to talk privately, I would be glad to chat anytime. Via email, phone whatever works for you. Just ask..
Stay strong, peaceful healing and positive energy coming your way...
Lisha

truckingalong
Posts: 444
Joined: Aug 2010

Kaye,

I second on others' suggestions about getting help from others - too much on your plate!! Please focus on yourself and take a break and I pray for your easier times.

Hugs,
Liz

Porphy
Posts: 36
Joined: Jul 2010

Kaye, you need a break for sure, do you have a Visiting Nurse Assoc in your area or a cancer group. There's so much support for raising money for cancer, that if these groups knew how much you're carrying, they'd help. Your Dr's office should be able to get you in touch with someone or do it for you. Remember the "squeaky wheel", is the one to get the oil.

This list is always here give you support but you need more, you need someone to physically help you. We all send best wishes for you & your husband & pray you get the help you need.
Linda

JoanieP's picture
JoanieP
Posts: 573
Joined: Mar 2010

I am so so sorry for all the bad things that are happening to you. I only know that this is something you need to totally give to God. He has the strength to get you through, You couldn't. I pray for your husband , you and your dog Joanie

Porphy
Posts: 36
Joined: Jul 2010

Kay, haven't heard from you in a couple of days, are you OK? Keep us updated if you can. I worry about you, just one of these things is enough to deal with, all 3 is a bigger challenge than anyone needs. Linda

kayebadoe's picture
kayebadoe
Posts: 81
Joined: May 2010

My husband is getting better slowly and My dog is on pain management and seems to be better. Though I know its just a matter of time. I finished the 7th round and moving toward the final one. I have had my depression meds upped and it seems to have helped. My girlfriend and her husband drove all the way from California to stay the weekend with us and it really helped us both. I hadn't heard my husband make such an effort to talk since his surgery. It was great. Sometimes friends can be such a blessing.!!!

dixiegirl's picture
dixiegirl
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

I'm glad to hear he's trying. I have a heavy heart for your dog. I had to put 2 of my older dogs down at one time. I couldn't bear to take their lifelong friends away. One was senile and would get confused, stare at the corner, barking at nothing. The other was diabetic, EXTREMELY overweight and couldn't hardly get up and down the stairs in the back yard. They were both my pals and I miss them dearly. Then about 5 months later had to put down our other old dog, was very sick, not getting around well and just generally unhappy whining all the time. It nearly broke me. My heart hurt so bad.

I will never again have two dogs close to the same age as I cannot go through that emotional hell again.

Just know you are in my thoughts honey.

Take care,
Beth

dixiegirl's picture
dixiegirl
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

I'm glad to hear he's trying. I have a heavy heart for your dog. I had to put 2 of my older dogs down at one time. I couldn't bear to take their lifelong friends away. One was senile and would get confused, stare at the corner, barking at nothing. The other was diabetic, EXTREMELY overweight and couldn't hardly get up and down the stairs in the back yard. They were both my pals and I miss them dearly. Then about 5 months later had to put down our other old dog, was very sick, not getting around well and just generally unhappy whining all the time. It nearly broke me. My heart hurt so bad.

I will never again have two dogs close to the same age as I cannot go through that emotional hell again.

Just know you are in my thoughts honey.

Take care,
Beth

dixiegirl's picture
dixiegirl
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

I'm glad to hear he's trying. I have a heavy heart for your dog. I had to put 2 of my older dogs down at one time. I couldn't bear to take their lifelong friends away. One was senile and would get confused, stare at the corner, barking at nothing. The other was diabetic, EXTREMELY overweight and couldn't hardly get up and down the stairs in the back yard. They were both my pals and I miss them dearly. Then about 5 months later had to put down our other old dog, was very sick, not getting around well and just generally unhappy whining all the time. It nearly broke me. My heart hurt so bad.

I will never again have two dogs close to the same age as I cannot go through that emotional hell again.

Just know you are in my thoughts honey.

Take care,
Beth

Porphy
Posts: 36
Joined: Jul 2010

I'm glad your friends came to spend time with you, it sounds like it was good for your husband also. I hope things continue to get better for you, all my fingers are crossed.

hilde451's picture
hilde451
Posts: 229
Joined: Oct 2009

Hi Kaye : I am so sorry about all you are going through.
I will be praying for you. Dont give up. I know it is easier said then done.
But the Lord give no more then we can handle.
I wish you the best.
Hilde

Ginger Snap's picture
Ginger Snap
Posts: 3
Joined: Sep 2010

I am deeply saddened for you that you have to endure all this suffering. I always try & go to God when things are at their worst. "what am I suppose to learn from this?" I am praying for you in hopes that He will hear & sent help to you soon. I don't know how your faith is?..,but I want to share with you.

PS 34:18&19

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the Lord delivers him out of them all.

Let God be your source of strength, He will bring you through & not give you more than you can bare.
Through the hospital that you go to see if you can call to maybe find out more resources to help you & you husband. Also if you have a church , I have found them to be helpful & resourceful also.
I hope this helps you, you seem like a very strong woman & may God watch over you.

Ginger

kayebadoe's picture
kayebadoe
Posts: 81
Joined: May 2010

of thinking I was gonna lose my dog to cancer, the vet called. Second opinion, not bone cancer. Wow what a mistake. I can't tell you the hell I went thru. Now I have taken her in for blood work. some kind of infection they think. So certianly better than bone cancer.

merrywinner's picture
merrywinner
Posts: 627
Joined: Aug 2009

A much needed piece of good news. I am so happy for you Kaye. Hope you are hanging in there with everything else and as always sending my prayers to you and your husband.... almost forgot to mention the dog too. Mary

COBRA666's picture
COBRA666
Posts: 2413
Joined: May 2010

That is really GREAT news about your dog. Pets are just an extention of our kids as most pet lovers know. There are so many people out there that do not see it that way. Makes me wonder about those people. Vets know it and thats why they do not think twice about charging those high prices, but it is worth it to a lot of us as long as we don't get ripped to bad. Thats when we go searching for another Vet. John

Porphy
Posts: 36
Joined: Jul 2010

Great, I'm so happy for you.

dixiegirl's picture
dixiegirl
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

I'm hoping for a quick recovery! Both dog and hubby. and can't forget you too

allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3184
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi Kaye,
Thats great news, but what a major boo boo mistake with the Vet saying it was bone cancer....dang! Hope her infection can be cleared up soon and she will be good as new! Now we have 2 Lola pets in our group...Lisha's dog is named Lola also. Thats pretty cool if you think about it. You needed some good news and one less thing to worry about!
Take care Kaye...Love...Sue

forme's picture
forme
Posts: 1162
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Kaye,
I am so happy that Lola does not have cancer. I don't know her, but she is in my heart. So are you and your husband. Wishing all three of you only positive days ahead..
peaceful healing.
Lisha

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