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Another Newbie

davexx's picture
Posts: 55
Joined: Sep 2010

Hello everyone.My name is dave.I am caregiver to my wife Doreen.
She was diagnosed with Colon cancer april 2010.She had surgery may 2010.Been on chemo since Aug 2010.Since then It has spread to her liver and bones.She left chemo on 09/09/10 and I am the primary caregiver. I am 73 yo.my wif celebrated her 69th on 08/31/10 and our 52nd anniversary on 09/03/10. We live alone on the edge of the Pine Barrens at the NJ shore. It has only been less than a week on hospice and I can't see where people get the strenth to do this for years(even tho I hope to)She is under medication and is out of it and comfortable most of the time.Sorry have to go. Thanks for listening. dave

davexx's picture
Posts: 55
Joined: Sep 2010

Isn't there any way to correct postings.I ment to say 2009 instead of 2010 but I'm posting under lack of sleep and I'm only a 1 finger typist. Sorry,dave

Posts: 1846
Joined: Aug 2010

Good morning and welcome, Dave.

I am sorry you find yourself here but you are in the company of some very nice people.

I will say prayers today for you and for your wife.

Gentle hugs to both of you during this difficult time.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

Hi, Dave. Welcome and I am sorry you have to be a part of our group. I lost my husband in October, 2009 to colon cancer after a six year battle. I don't know where or how we find the strength or ability to be there for our spouses either. We just do. I guess it is just love. We do the best we can. We're not any braver or stronger than the next person. Speaking only for myself, I made that in sickness and in health vow and doing anything else never occurred to me. I wanted to help in anyway I could. I hated seeing him so ill and in pain and often wished it was me instead of him. I have no doubt that you will do the same no matter how long you are needed. We do get tired. We get lonely. We definitely need to vent at times about the cancer, the treatments, the insensitive people who seem to show up at times, even our loved ones. This is a good place to do that. At times we feel guilty, like we are not doing enough. We also get frustrated. I am glad you have hospice. They are helpful and seem to be pretty good at pain management. Don't hesitate to call them with questions and requests. They are there for you as well as the patient. Hang in there. Fay

zinniemay's picture
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

Dave, It is the love we share that helps us get thru the day. Once in a while we are so stressed for a small moment we forget who we are and vent. When we said "I Do" that is when our life started as one. I care for my husband because I love him . Each day I try to see the beauty in the littlest of things. (Sorry guys I sometimes forget and vent). But What we have together is forever. When he feels sick I come here and just let go of some of my feelings (some not to good). But I think everyone on here will tell you . Hey I been there too. We are all so different and come from all walks of life. We all have our own take on this Devil called cancer . But hear we listen and learn from each other and many times don't feel so alone. I am sorry you had to come here but glad you found a place to go. I wish you peace in you path.


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