Caregiving and Sleep

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caretaker41
caretaker41 Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
I am a caretaker for my partner and our sleep schedules seem to be the largest point of frication between us. The chemo that she's on causes her to have an unusual sleep schedule where she takes multiple naps during the day and then gets up at 4 or 5 in the morning and then can't get back to sleep. I usually stay up until 11 or 12 at night because when they go to sleep is the only time I get to myself all day and I really need that time to relax. With all the times I wake up to do things for my partner during the night, I'd probably need to sleep in until 10 or 11 in the morning to feel rested but by the time 6 am comes around she's been up for a while, she's hungry and wants me to go make her breakfast and has a list of thing she wants me to help her with throughout the day.

I have a feeling many other caretakers also have trouble getting enough sleep for various reasons. I'm wondering what kind kind of situations you've run into. How has being a caretaker changed your sleep schedule and how have you dealt with this?

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  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #2
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    Hello and welcome to our
    Hello and welcome to our caregivers family. My mom and I were caregivers for my dad. He passed away in March from esophageal cancer. Mom was his main caregiver. She had to actually put herself on his schedule. It kinda reminds me of taking care of a baby. Sleep when they sleep, get up when they get up. This sounds like it is the only plan that will work for you. If you are being her full time caregiver, this should work, if not, and you also have to work at a job, it will not. Hope this helps.
    Tina
  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #3
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    roll with it
    Tina's right, you get where you just roll with it. But I totally understand the need to relax / scream / stomp or watch something really stupid on TV without having to talk to anyone. Doesn't mean you get to do it, but we understand...

    You must also tactfully try to set some limits so that your life has some degree of predictability from one hour to the next. Set up your partner with everything she needs, and go to another room where you can rest up or take a nap. If my 79-year old mother can learn to do this, anyone can.

    I do stick around and provide diversion while we wait for pain pills to kick in, though. Good luck!
  • kimmygarland
    kimmygarland Member Posts: 312
    #4
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    Barbara53 said:

    roll with it
    Tina's right, you get where you just roll with it. But I totally understand the need to relax / scream / stomp or watch something really stupid on TV without having to talk to anyone. Doesn't mean you get to do it, but we understand...

    You must also tactfully try to set some limits so that your life has some degree of predictability from one hour to the next. Set up your partner with everything she needs, and go to another room where you can rest up or take a nap. If my 79-year old mother can learn to do this, anyone can.

    I do stick around and provide diversion while we wait for pain pills to kick in, though. Good luck!

    I Must Sleep
    I am one of those people who needs a good night's sleep most nights or I am useless. When Bob was going through chemo/rads and taking meds, etc. in the night, I would set everything up before I went to bed - put meds out, what time he could take it, etc. He never once woke me up in the night. I found good planning was the key. I also slept in a different room during that time because he was up and down so much. Not ideal, but it worked for us.
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #5
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    family friendly
    My best friend and matron of honor is a gay male that I've known for a long time. He is my brother and my husband I luv him to death. He is also HIV. We came up with assumption about his caretaking. I am Only assumming that your partners family is not available to help, but his was not. He said "you either have to get help from the family, your community or pay for it.". No one can do this thing alone. You may need to call in reinforcements in order to sleep. Is there someone that you can call tO sit with your partner in order for you to go to another room and rest? There was also a previous post for time saving tips for caregivers.


    Ktz
  • teacher9
    teacher9 Member Posts: 17
    #6
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    get some help
    During chemo weeks my husband sleeps in the guest room because our schedules are off too. I also work full time and I have had to lean on help to get things done, there is just now way for me to do it all. I was finding that I was falling asleep very late because like you I needed the time to myself and stayed up worrying. My doctor gave me some sleeping pills, that has helped getting to bed at a normal hour.
  • Pennymac02
    Pennymac02 Member Posts: 332 Member
    #7
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    Barbara53 said:

    roll with it
    Tina's right, you get where you just roll with it. But I totally understand the need to relax / scream / stomp or watch something really stupid on TV without having to talk to anyone. Doesn't mean you get to do it, but we understand...

    You must also tactfully try to set some limits so that your life has some degree of predictability from one hour to the next. Set up your partner with everything she needs, and go to another room where you can rest up or take a nap. If my 79-year old mother can learn to do this, anyone can.

    I do stick around and provide diversion while we wait for pain pills to kick in, though. Good luck!

    Me Too
    I'm glad this thread came up. I have been struggling with this too. My poor hubby waits for me to come home from work in order to have outside contact, and I am in sales so I talk to people all day. Sometimes I just don't feel like conversating! We sleep in separate rooms too, because his sleep schedule is so irratic. Finding down time to be alone ususally involves me staying up too late to watch tv, which makes me tired for work the next day and the cycle continues.

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