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nubis's picture
Posts: 98
Joined: Mar 2008

My husband passed away July 31. It was so fast. He never lost hope.............I missed him every second............. But he is not suffering anymore. Our oncologist told us there is not reason to continue chemo. It is not working and 2 weeks later. He passed away. I thought we had more time to enjoy. I took days off in my job to enjoy and make our list of things we wanted to do together. Before we were very busy with doctors appointments. Of course we did things together but when doctor told us. No more chemo , just enjoy...... Then I stopped working. But I saw how Rafael started getting very weak, not able to walk, not able to eat by himself, not able to take his medicines so I called my mom that is in Mexico and told her just come right away I think the end is coming. The day my mom arrived. That day he passed away. I think he was waiting for my mom. I'm alone here in U.SA. all my family is in Mexico. I came here for the american dream.......... cancer...... now a widow.......... all my plans with my husband are gone...... I'm 30 years old..... he was 34........ I think this is not fair..... for nobody......... what is happening with this world???............ why you hear and hear more cases of cancer......... what is happening???........ I don't know what I'm going to do, but his death is not going to be in the past..... I'm going to make my voice notice so cancer can be a disease of the past .

For all of you..... thank you for all your support in these 3 years...... and keep fighting.......


Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1576
Joined: May 2009

I am saddened to hear that Rafael has lost his fight. It's at times like this that I am at a loss for words, other than to say that my heart breaks for you. I can feel your pain in your writing as I know how dedicated you were to Rafael. I also wish you had been able to really enjoy the "American dream" but unfortunately none of us know how long that dream will last.

Now is the time to lean on your family and friends for support and strength. Always remember the good memories of your time together and hopefully this will help you at this most painful time.

My prayers go out to you and your family,

catcon49's picture
Posts: 398
Joined: Aug 2008

I am truly very sorry for your loss. I feel as though I have also suffered a loss. Reading your posts over the last year or so has been so helpful to so many people, including myself. You are so young to have to deal with all of this. And Rafael was so young to be taken from this world. I agree cancer is a horrible thing. I pray every day that God will give some doctor the answers to cure it.

God bless.


stayingcalm's picture
Posts: 654
Joined: Feb 2007

I'm so sorry to hear about this, Nubis. I'll be keeping you and your husband in mind as I continue my own journey, and hope that my caregiver loves me as much as you love Rafael. Thank you for allowing us to travel with you for a while.


nubis's picture
Posts: 98
Joined: Mar 2008

Yes, I loved him with all my heart. He was my twin soul. Now I feel incomplete and I miss him so much........

hope0310's picture
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

When you wrote to us that Rafeal was on hospice care, I thought NO it cannot be! I am so very sorry for your lose :(.....do not give up hope, ever!!! Live your life and honor his!!

My mom was placed under hospice care about a week ago, it is so surreal............


Posts: 89
Joined: Dec 2009

I am so sorry for your loss.

Like many others, I feel I've come to know you and Rafael a little from your posts. It is so clear how much you have loved him and will continue to love him. For right now, just take care of yourself and leave any big decisions about your future until this shock wears off a little.

Again, I am so sorry and I wish you peace.

Posts: 84
Joined: Nov 2005


I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Rafael fought a long and hard battle against a tough opponent, he is at peace now.

I also wish you peace and prosperity for the road that lies ahead of you, the spirit of Rafael will always be with you.

Posts: 9
Joined: Jul 2010

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I just lost my mother on July 30th to lung cancer as well as cervical cancer. She was only diagnosed in April with Cancer and was in hospice for one day before she was taken from us. She was only 67. Your husband will live in your heart forever just as my mom will. I agree that there needs to be more steps taken to fight and find a cure for Cancer. I also lost my father 5 years ago to lung cancer. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.


Dapsterd's picture
Posts: 291
Joined: Jun 2010

I have read your responses to many peoples concerns on this site....one thing that can not be taken away, yet should be embraced is that I am certain you have helped very many suffering people on this site through your experience with the cancer/treatment/hospice process and the wisdom of life that you have shared through every email.

We will always be grateful for you folks.



medi_2's picture
Posts: 509
Joined: Aug 2009

I think it is great that you are going to channel your grief into positive actions and help beat the disease. Nothing will bring Rafael back; but his name will forever be connected to the cause. Good for you and don't leave us here! I'm sure that talking will help.
My condolences...

cobra1122's picture
Posts: 244
Joined: Jul 2009

Nubis, remember that he will always be with you, and that you have memories that only you can cherish. I realize that there is never enough time, but time is what we make of it. From what you have written Rafael made the best to what time he had and never lost hope, and with this he is at peace with God our father. In time your memories will be more endurable, but we are here anytime you need a friend. we have shared part of this battle with each other, and we are here if you need us.
I wish you peace in the memories you shared with Rafael, and peace that he is now with the Father in no pain. You are a strong person, and this to will be a time to cherish and of reflection.

Our Prayers and Best Wishes are with Rafael, You, Your Family, and Everyone.....
Dan (cobra1122) and Margi Harmon

Rosi's picture
Posts: 69
Joined: Dec 2009

I am very sad and I am praying to God for you and your family, Nubis your dear Rafael is your angel and he will always be with you, next to you,talking to you, loving you.now he is your angel.

Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

So sorry about your husband. Mine also passed away on Mar. 25, 2010. He had done everything so I was completely at a loss. We were married 46 years & had known each other since 1st grade. I started seeing a counselor & also on meds which helps to accept this. It's so hard to see your loved one suffer and all of a sudden they're gone.
Be strong & try to remember the happy times.

Posts: 4
Joined: Sep 2010

I'm new to this board, but I am so sorry for you loss.

Posts: 30
Joined: Dec 2009

I feel such pain for you. My dad diagnosed 10/09 with non small cell. I have followed your posts but have gotten caught up in my dad's treatments, tests & setbacks along the way.

I remember one of your posts, which I relayed to mom, where you weren't quite sure if you should take a leave of absence from work so that you can spend time with Rafael. My mom always is wondering this & it is a hard choice.
You both seemed so happy together although I never met you. He is not in pain or tortured anymore with the seemingly endless amount of tests & treatments & many setbacks. He is at peace and one day you will meet again, & hopefully you can tell him the news that they found a CURE. Stay strong.

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