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Caring4Dad: You deserve your own thread.

Kimba1505's picture
Posts: 557
Joined: Apr 2010

Caring4Dad, (Michelle)

I am sorry to hear about your dad and sorry that you have had a need to find this site...but find it you did...and it is an amazing place to get information, care, support and even warmth and laughter. It is place where others get what is going on for you and your father and it is open 24/7.

I am copying your post so that others see it, get to know you, and welcome you into the fold. Stay connected here...it can be a life line during a very very difficult time.

Hi, I am new to the group and wanted to introduce myself. I'm not sure if this is the right place, but here goes... I am taking care of my father who has stage iv squamous cell carcinoma-head and neck. He survived five years without treatment after opting for holistic treatment. Over the last year he began to deteriorate and really just waited too long to do something about it. Now he weighs 118 lbs, has a tracheotomy and a PEG tube. He has begun chemo and radiation, but his prognosis is not good. I am trusting God for a miracle though.

I felt sad as I read these posts, because my mother has not been supportive of my father; she has run in the other direction because she cannot handle his illness. Because of this, I have had to leave my job and come home to care for him. It is bittersweet. I treasure this time with my father, but it has crushed my heart to see him sufferring. It has also hurt and angered me to witness my mother's disregard of him.

Right now I am focused on my father's diet and making food for his PEG tube. I look forward to all that I can learn from the others on this site. Thank you for allowing me to introduce myself. I look forward to getting to know you all more.

God bless you all!

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1576
Joined: May 2009

Welcome to CSN, I'm sorry that your father is not doing well but please never give up hope. Miracles do happen!!! If you read some of the posts here you will read about people who were told they only had months to live but they are still here many, many years later to help others through their journey.

I'm sorry your mother can not come to terms with your father's diagnosis. I can relate to your feelings as my brother was diagnosed with cancer 7 years ago and my sister-in-law was never there for him. My sisters and I took care of him and took him to all of his appointments while my SIL continued to go about life as if nothing was happening. Near the end she finally took time off through FEMA and stayed home with him for a while but quickly returned to work when she could have stayed home with him longer. During his last month while he was on Hospice my sisters and I again took turns staying with him during the day while she worked. I do not carry hard feelings towards her about this, I try to understand that maybe she was just not strong enough (emotionally) to deal with the hard times. Today I feel sorry for her...she is now living alone and her only companion is her guilt. I hope your mother will be able to become more supportive soon and make many memories with you and your father.

Please continue to post with any questions or concerns you may have, or just to vent when you feel you are about to explode. You now have a very large "family" of people who will always be there for you.

My best to you and your family,

Posts: 665
Joined: Apr 2010

Wellcome to the board. I am sorry that your father has to go through this. However, he is very lucky to have you as his daughter. How family member's & friends react to a cancer diagnosis of someone they love can vary! My mother chose to ignore it & I had no one that I truly could count on except my husband! My dietitcian was wonderfull in giving advice both medically & diet wise. This is a great site to belong to for both support & friendship. I have learned quite a bit from everyone here & I feel so lucky to have found it. I wish both you & your father my best & shall keep you & your father in my prayer's.
God Bless

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