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Remission was short, but not too sweet...

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

Brain scan confirmed new active cancer, they say they cannot treat since she has already had WBR. PET also now shows lymph node invlovement in chest.

We will be bringing her home under hospice care on Tuesday...we are devistated...

Elysia

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1576
Joined: May 2009

My heart goes out to you and your family. I wish there was something I could say or do to help ease your pain.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Stay strong,
Glenna

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

There is so much to absorb and logic and denial are so getting in my way! I think of Dan (cobra) every day and good fight that he annd Margie hav fought each and every day.
No one wants an experation date, but at the same time, I need that, because if it is short, I will be there every step of the way, but if is long term, I want to plan accordingly.....is that wrong?

1

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1576
Joined: May 2009

I can understand that you want a time frame so you can plan your life accordingly, if the time is short you want to spend as much of it with her as possible. If they are talking in longer terms you will need to keep your life as "normal" as possible while still spending as much quality time with her as possible while still maintaining your life.

Unfortunately the doctors can not give you an accurate timeframe, even if they did there is no guarantee that they are right. My brother was diagnosed 7 years ago with inoperable lung cancer, he went through treatment and survived the five year mark and then the cancer came back. He refused treatment and the doctors told us to call Hospice and he was transferred from the hospital to the Hospice House. He was there for a week and then told the doctors that he wanted to go home, he wasn't ready to go yet as he had a few things he wanted to take care of before he went. It was 3 months before my brother told us he was ready to go back to Hospice where he passed away a week later. What the doctors thought would be days turned into 4 months.

There are no wrongs, you have to follow your heart and do what you feel is right.

Take care and stay in touch,
Glenna

cobra1122's picture
cobra1122
Posts: 244
Joined: Jul 2009

We all in someway want to know, even I in someway would like to know forsure. But then again everydate given has been wrong. Now I am doing inpatient so they can swtch my pain killers, cause the morphine isn't working.
I just want to send you and your family our best and prayers,we know the road ahead is scary. But your not alone and that always remember we are all making the same journey and we will all meet again in a betterplace.
Our prayers and Best Wishes to you and the Family,
Dan(cobra1122) and Margi Harmon

soccerfreaks's picture
soccerfreaks
Posts: 2800
Joined: Sep 2006

Actually, remission should have been sweet, for however long it lasted.

And now, as your loved one is coming home to spend her End Days, everyone can dance around the facts, but the doctors are apparently saying that the end is near. It is up to you and the people around her to decide how she will experience her last days, either as the cause of abject misery for all of those that she loves (and thus potentially coaxing her into leaving early) or as days of joy and wonderful reflection on a life well-lived where she was well-loved.

That's hard to hear, I know, but it is true.

Do your best, while she is here, to celebrate who she is and what she has been. Celebrate how she will live on in you and others.

She will prefer your smiles to your tears while she is cognizant, and at the end she will know that there will be tears even if she cannot see them.

Take care,

Joe

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

Thanks all..

Dan I am sorry to hear that you are now inpatient, but if that is where you need to be to get your pain under control, I know you and Margie will make the best of it and keep making your memories.

Joe - it will not be misery, we had a great first day with all of us at home. Mom is still very lucid, eating etc...although she does have cogontive issues from the cancer. She is still mom, still has her sense of humor.

We are avery close fmaily, always have been and we will pull through and make this time sweet for all. Obviously it is a journey we have never been on and are lookikng for stepping stones along the path to guide us.

The hospice nurse will be here at 11 along with home health aide from hospice for bathing...

Take Care all
Elysia

soccerfreaks's picture
soccerfreaks
Posts: 2800
Joined: Sep 2006

That is great to hear, Elysia! It IS a difficult journey and I am on record as believing that it is a harder journey for loving caregivers than for the survivor.

Be brave, be strong.

Hope and Humor will help with that.

Take care,

Joe

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