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I just feel so sorry

Posts: 89
Joined: Dec 2009

My mother died last week. I was off work for 7 1/2 months caring for her. At times it was really hard, being back living at home with mum & dad. I was snappy and impatient and cranky at times. Now that mum is gone, I can't help feeling so sorry. How could I be such a spoilt cranky brat when my mother was dying? I knew she was dying, and I wasted time being moody. It just breaks my heart now, and I feel so awful, like I let her down and I'm a terrible person.

webozo's picture
Posts: 82
Joined: Feb 2010

first you are not a terrible person. we all have things we regret after our love ones are gone the last time i was with my mom before she died we fought because she didn't think i was doing enough for her. i was very mad at her because my brother and i were there everyday and i took her for walks they would not let us stay over night because we both had children at home and we needed relief. (she was in hospice). after she died i felt like i was the worse person on earth. about a year later my brother and i talked and he said it was the same for him. the point is that we are people and we all react to stress the best way we can. allow yourself to forgive and try to live on and honnor her alittle everyday.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I am so sorry that your mom passed away. I agree that we all regret some things when we lose a loved one. Just do the best you can moving forward. You were there for your mom. She knows you love her. Now, concentrate on the good memories. You are grieving and anger is a part of that process. Even anger at yourself. Take care, Fay

Posts: 6587
Joined: Oct 2010

I can relate...but this doesn't make you a bad person. IT takes a toll on anyone being a care giver..she knew you were there with her...when it was important!

give yourself a break

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