Nipples: One Yes, One Not-So-Yes...yet

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SamuraiMom
SamuraiMom Member Posts: 295
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi All,

Can I whine?

OK, one nipple is looking fabulous. It's healed, happy and as it should be.

And then there's the other gal-Lefty.

Lefty still has a yucky scab on it and is STILL bleeding if it gets bumped every so slightly.

I took a close look at Lefty this morning and I'm afraid she's just not connecting to the skin like the other and may need additional stitches.

Lefty still hurts too. Mind you not mastectomy hurt but needle poking over and over hurt intermittedly.

Of course I'm calling my plastic surgeon tomorrow and caving.

Trying to balance patience during this process has been very, very difficult for me.

To top it off, my job sucks, I feel like everyone is staring at the gauze squares showing through my shirt and I'm feeling generally bummed.

I know my situation is much brighter than so many of my other sisters out there going through SO much more so I feel guilty complaining.

But strangely, I've felt less strong during the reconstruction process than I did during the mastectomy.

I'm overeating and just not liking myself right now.

Maybe it's because I'm nearing the end? Is it that the end is near but I know I could be going through this all over again in a heart beat?

Thanks for listening.

If I haven't told you lately...love you all!

xxoo,
SamuraiMom

Comments

  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
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    Samurai Mom
    Whine away, but only if doing so makes you feel better. If any group can take it - we can!

    I'm sorry to hear that Lefty is not cooperating, but hope that your PS will be able to take care of it so that it can catch up with it's overacheiving next door neighbor.

    Take care,
    Cindy
  • SamuraiMom
    SamuraiMom Member Posts: 295
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    Samurai Mom
    Whine away, but only if doing so makes you feel better. If any group can take it - we can!

    I'm sorry to hear that Lefty is not cooperating, but hope that your PS will be able to take care of it so that it can catch up with it's overacheiving next door neighbor.

    Take care,
    Cindy

    lol
    You literally just made me laugh out loud...THANK YOU!!!!!

    XXOO,
    SamuraiMom
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
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    Samurai Mom
    Whine away, but only if doing so makes you feel better. If any group can take it - we can!

    I'm sorry to hear that Lefty is not cooperating, but hope that your PS will be able to take care of it so that it can catch up with it's overacheiving next door neighbor.

    Take care,
    Cindy

    Hey, that is why we are
    Hey, that is why we are here. You whine, vent, tell a joke or just share what's on your mind.

    Glad that you are happy with the one side. I hope your PS can correct your other side easily for you.

    Hugs, Megan
  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
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    Dear Samurai,
    I'm sorry

    Dear Samurai,

    I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

    I think it is very common for women at this phase of their b/c journey to 'feel less strong during the reconstruction process' than during the masectomy.

    1) You're tired.
    2) We have a lot of expectations and if they're not met, all the frustration from the previous months of treatment get poured out now.

    I too hope left starts cooperating. :)

    Keep us posted on your progress.

    Much Love,
    dh
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
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    Dear Samurai,
    I'm sorry

    Dear Samurai,

    I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

    I think it is very common for women at this phase of their b/c journey to 'feel less strong during the reconstruction process' than during the masectomy.

    1) You're tired.
    2) We have a lot of expectations and if they're not met, all the frustration from the previous months of treatment get poured out now.

    I too hope left starts cooperating. :)

    Keep us posted on your progress.

    Much Love,
    dh

    Samurai and Ladies waiting our exchange ..
    Lefty is it .. LOL I am glad you posted .. It this normal? I don't know, just a few weeks behine you in the reconstruction process.

    I may opt out of nipples, and go for the 3D tat. Don't know ..


    Please let us know .. Lefty's outcome.


    Vicki Sam
  • Christine Louise
    Christine Louise Member Posts: 426 Member
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    Oh, phooey
    I hate to hear this, SamuraiMom! Why can't anything be easy for us gals? Things started out so positively with the new nips. I hope the ps is getting this sorted out right now.

    There have been several posts this week about difficulties at this stage of the game. We're so tough during the essential, life-saving procedures that by the time of the more cosmetic stuff, we've just had it. We're drained, emotionally. And, I think you're right, there's the thought in the back of the mind -- am I really, really done with all this?

    What will help you feel better? More exercise? A new activity? Connecting with some friends? Some pampering, like a massage or accupuncture? I don't mean to be annoying, but I know that for me, when I get down and start the comfort-eating, something's gotta change. Once I figure out what, I can interrupt the depression cycle.

    Please let us know what the ps does. Take care and be nice to yourself. Love, CL
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
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    So sorry
    So sorry lefty is not cooperating): I hope ps can fix the problem asap. You've had such a great outlook so far so this is a bump in the road, eh! Keep your spirits up.

    When I left my surgeon's office after my post op I was on a high because he told me he didn't think I needed chemo or rads but I felt weird when I got home. When I'm in a funk I start to eat whatever's available. Need I say, I put on a few pounds. Trying to work them off before going to see oncologist. Staying optomistic:)
    Char
  • SamuraiMom
    SamuraiMom Member Posts: 295
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    cahjah75 said:

    So sorry
    So sorry lefty is not cooperating): I hope ps can fix the problem asap. You've had such a great outlook so far so this is a bump in the road, eh! Keep your spirits up.

    When I left my surgeon's office after my post op I was on a high because he told me he didn't think I needed chemo or rads but I felt weird when I got home. When I'm in a funk I start to eat whatever's available. Need I say, I put on a few pounds. Trying to work them off before going to see oncologist. Staying optomistic:)
    Char

    OMG thank you!
    Gals,

    I feel so much better when I'm around you!

    Thank you!

    My hideous job kept me from making the call to the ps so I've promised myself to do it tomorrow for sure.

    Lefty's the same.

    Talked to my hubby about things tonight.

    He's so great. But he's a man...ya know? He sweetly explained how when he's down he tackles the backyard and/or does things that he can control. (I know this is genius advice but...)

    I'm in such a fog I just can't think of what "project" could defog me.

    So I ate a bowl of cereal at 10:39pm. Well done. Ahhhhhhhhhh!

    OK I promise to stop whining soon!

    This is the only place I can take off my "happy me-wonder woman" mask.

    xxoo,
    SamuraiMom
  • Jean 0609
    Jean 0609 Member Posts: 2,462
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    OMG thank you!
    Gals,

    I feel so much better when I'm around you!

    Thank you!

    My hideous job kept me from making the call to the ps so I've promised myself to do it tomorrow for sure.

    Lefty's the same.

    Talked to my hubby about things tonight.

    He's so great. But he's a man...ya know? He sweetly explained how when he's down he tackles the backyard and/or does things that he can control. (I know this is genius advice but...)

    I'm in such a fog I just can't think of what "project" could defog me.

    So I ate a bowl of cereal at 10:39pm. Well done. Ahhhhhhhhhh!

    OK I promise to stop whining soon!

    This is the only place I can take off my "happy me-wonder woman" mask.

    xxoo,
    SamuraiMom

    Hi SamuraiMom
    Don't stop whining for us. That's what we are here for. Sometimes it just helps to whine, cry, or whatever, just to get it out!!!! You are a strong woman and you will win this battle too! Hugs :>) Jean
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
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    OMG thank you!
    Gals,

    I feel so much better when I'm around you!

    Thank you!

    My hideous job kept me from making the call to the ps so I've promised myself to do it tomorrow for sure.

    Lefty's the same.

    Talked to my hubby about things tonight.

    He's so great. But he's a man...ya know? He sweetly explained how when he's down he tackles the backyard and/or does things that he can control. (I know this is genius advice but...)

    I'm in such a fog I just can't think of what "project" could defog me.

    So I ate a bowl of cereal at 10:39pm. Well done. Ahhhhhhhhhh!

    OK I promise to stop whining soon!

    This is the only place I can take off my "happy me-wonder woman" mask.

    xxoo,
    SamuraiMom

    Happy about the nipple one,
    Happy about the nipple one, and, sorry about nipple two. I am sure your PS can make it just like the one you like. Good luck samuraimom!


    Hugs, Angie
  • wendybia
    wendybia Member Posts: 73
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    totally get it
    hey samuraimom.....i unilateral mastectomy so only needed 1 nipple done...i really hate it...i almost feel guilty about hating it...it's too big...i have a friend diagnosed a month or so after me...we complain to each other all the time but we always start the sentence with " it's not that i'm not gratefeul but "...we begin to shoot off one thing after another with those words and before you know it, we're cracking up...so it's not that you're not grateful but come on lefty i need you to perk up.....my ps will make my nipple smaller sept or oct...so find laughter...it seems to my attitude in check
    bigs smiles...wendy
  • SamuraiMom
    SamuraiMom Member Posts: 295
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    wendybia said:

    totally get it
    hey samuraimom.....i unilateral mastectomy so only needed 1 nipple done...i really hate it...i almost feel guilty about hating it...it's too big...i have a friend diagnosed a month or so after me...we complain to each other all the time but we always start the sentence with " it's not that i'm not gratefeul but "...we begin to shoot off one thing after another with those words and before you know it, we're cracking up...so it's not that you're not grateful but come on lefty i need you to perk up.....my ps will make my nipple smaller sept or oct...so find laughter...it seems to my attitude in check
    bigs smiles...wendy

    Lefty
    Thank you Everyone!!! I so appreciate the encouragment!!!

    Seeing my ps today at 3pm.

    The wonderful nurse I deal with over the phone thinks I may need a simple stitch or two to batten down the hatches.

    I'll keep you posted.

    On a positive note my youngest daughter turns 7 on Saturday and we're going to Kobe Steakhouse tonight for dinner (so much fun at that place with the flying food and fire!) and spending the day Saturday at Busch Gardens.

    The saga of Lefty will take a back seat for a few wonderful days. :)

    Bad Lefty, Bad Lefty!!

    Love you all my sweet, all-understanding Invisi-Sistas!

    oh and p.s. I had a wild thought last night about a CSN "reunion" where we all show up in some grand place like Disney or something and have our screen names on our shirts and we all just bump into each other and hug each other loving meeting ourselves in person. i know that's not how this works but it made me smile just thinking about meeting just some of you wonderful women!!

    xxoo,

    SamuraiMom
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
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    Lefty
    Thank you Everyone!!! I so appreciate the encouragment!!!

    Seeing my ps today at 3pm.

    The wonderful nurse I deal with over the phone thinks I may need a simple stitch or two to batten down the hatches.

    I'll keep you posted.

    On a positive note my youngest daughter turns 7 on Saturday and we're going to Kobe Steakhouse tonight for dinner (so much fun at that place with the flying food and fire!) and spending the day Saturday at Busch Gardens.

    The saga of Lefty will take a back seat for a few wonderful days. :)

    Bad Lefty, Bad Lefty!!

    Love you all my sweet, all-understanding Invisi-Sistas!

    oh and p.s. I had a wild thought last night about a CSN "reunion" where we all show up in some grand place like Disney or something and have our screen names on our shirts and we all just bump into each other and hug each other loving meeting ourselves in person. i know that's not how this works but it made me smile just thinking about meeting just some of you wonderful women!!

    xxoo,

    SamuraiMom

    Sorry about lefty :( But,
    Sorry about lefty :( But, I bet your PS can take care of it for you!

    Happy Birthday to your daughter and enjoy your evening out!

    Yes, wouldn't that be great if we all could meet at Disney? I am going to have to figure out though how I can get an animated tail swinging cat on my tshirt. lol


    Have a great weekend!


    Sue :)
  • Christine Louise
    Christine Louise Member Posts: 426 Member
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    Lefty
    Thank you Everyone!!! I so appreciate the encouragment!!!

    Seeing my ps today at 3pm.

    The wonderful nurse I deal with over the phone thinks I may need a simple stitch or two to batten down the hatches.

    I'll keep you posted.

    On a positive note my youngest daughter turns 7 on Saturday and we're going to Kobe Steakhouse tonight for dinner (so much fun at that place with the flying food and fire!) and spending the day Saturday at Busch Gardens.

    The saga of Lefty will take a back seat for a few wonderful days. :)

    Bad Lefty, Bad Lefty!!

    Love you all my sweet, all-understanding Invisi-Sistas!

    oh and p.s. I had a wild thought last night about a CSN "reunion" where we all show up in some grand place like Disney or something and have our screen names on our shirts and we all just bump into each other and hug each other loving meeting ourselves in person. i know that's not how this works but it made me smile just thinking about meeting just some of you wonderful women!!

    xxoo,

    SamuraiMom

    Nip stitch
    I hope the ps gets lefty shaped up real soon. Then, you enjoy your weekend and sweet daughter's big day!
  • SamuraiMom
    SamuraiMom Member Posts: 295
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    Ritzy said:

    Sorry about lefty :( But,
    Sorry about lefty :( But, I bet your PS can take care of it for you!

    Happy Birthday to your daughter and enjoy your evening out!

    Yes, wouldn't that be great if we all could meet at Disney? I am going to have to figure out though how I can get an animated tail swinging cat on my tshirt. lol


    Have a great weekend!


    Sue :)

    Lefty
    Hi All!

    Well the ps said to let her be and allow it to keep correcting itself. He decided not to add any additional stitches noting going in could possibly cause infection and better safe than sorry. (I'm for that)

    So far it is cracking open less and less.

    I'm just going to have to give it time.

    So far I'm scheduled for the tatoos on 9-11-10.

    This is highly ironic bc this was the same day I found out my sentinel lymph nodes were clear on 9-11-09.

    Ask me if that bizarre coincidence didn't stop me in my tracks?? One year to the day...

    Still dreaming about our reunion!


    Ritzy you would HAVE TO HAVE a Garfield shirt!

    xxoo,
    SamuraiMom
  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
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    Lefty
    Hi All!

    Well the ps said to let her be and allow it to keep correcting itself. He decided not to add any additional stitches noting going in could possibly cause infection and better safe than sorry. (I'm for that)

    So far it is cracking open less and less.

    I'm just going to have to give it time.

    So far I'm scheduled for the tatoos on 9-11-10.

    This is highly ironic bc this was the same day I found out my sentinel lymph nodes were clear on 9-11-09.

    Ask me if that bizarre coincidence didn't stop me in my tracks?? One year to the day...

    Still dreaming about our reunion!


    Ritzy you would HAVE TO HAVE a Garfield shirt!

    xxoo,
    SamuraiMom

    Here's hoping that re time,
    Here's hoping that re time, it is sooner than later for Lefty.

    Glad things aren't worse, but sorry they're going so slowly.

    That is a bit ironic about the dates. Kind of cool, really. You've come full circle. May it truly be a circle of healing!

    And on the latest regarding the reunion, please keep me up to date! ;)
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
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    Lefty
    Hi All!

    Well the ps said to let her be and allow it to keep correcting itself. He decided not to add any additional stitches noting going in could possibly cause infection and better safe than sorry. (I'm for that)

    So far it is cracking open less and less.

    I'm just going to have to give it time.

    So far I'm scheduled for the tatoos on 9-11-10.

    This is highly ironic bc this was the same day I found out my sentinel lymph nodes were clear on 9-11-09.

    Ask me if that bizarre coincidence didn't stop me in my tracks?? One year to the day...

    Still dreaming about our reunion!


    Ritzy you would HAVE TO HAVE a Garfield shirt!

    xxoo,
    SamuraiMom

    A must have, a Garfield
    A must have, a Garfield shirt for me! Thanks Samurai Mom!


    Sue :)
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
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    Checking in SamuraiMom :)
    Hi SamuraiMom -
    Doing my nightly CSN check in & wondering how your new nipples are doing? I missed out on about 3 or 4 days worth of posts when I was in the hospital & wanted to check in with ya! Hope all's well & healing up!
    *hugs*
    Heather