surgery 5 days= Heather's starting to freak out
My double mastectomy is coming up in 5 days, next Thursday, and the calm, cool, positive me that has prevailed is falling apart
As the day gets closer, I'm getting more and more anxious and scared. I am so afraid that when I come out of recovery, my doctor is going to tell me they had to remove tons of lymph nodes, and that the cancer is in several other places in my body. I know it is probably an unfounded fear, but that seems like all that I can think about. Was this a common feeling before you had your surgery? I am having a mastectomy on both breasts, even though the cancer is only in one of them. The mass is about 1.5 cm in size. Is there anything that anyone on here can tell me to help ease my fears and anxiety?
you are all awesome-heather
Comments
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My surgery was 2 days ago,
My surgery was 2 days ago, Thursday of this week. I found that my anxiety lessened as I got near the date for my surgery. I was nervous on the morning of my surgery but just took things slowly - got to the hospital before my scheduled time and things went smoothly from there. My surgeon did a sentinel node dissection and did not find cancer there so no more nodes had to be removed. I have little pain and I'm not weak. I could walk easily the evening of my surgery.
It's important for you to have family or friend support before and after your mastectomy. I'm sure you'll do fine. Believe in yourself and you can be as strong as you want to be. I'm hoping for the best possibly outcome for you.0 -
Dear Heather,
I was
Dear Heather,
I was terrified too. Terrified until the pathology report came back. You are quite normal. Cancer is scary. I wish I could say something to quell your fears and anxiety. I'm not that eloquent. Maybe some of the sisters will come along and be able to ... but know that we've been there. We really do know what you're going through. Some of us have good pathology reports, others of us, haven't. But we know. We really do know. You're not alone. We are and will be here for you.
I'd encourage you to do whatever relaxes you ... read, exercise, whatever to keep your mind off the fears. One thing I do hope I've learned about experiencing paralyzing fear over the last year is that worry/anxiety does absolutely nothing except give me sleeplessness nights and high blood pressure. Look how far you've come. You were very fearful about the money and that has all worked out. Journal, write out yours fears ... but try not to dwell on them. It will make you crazy. Believe me, I know.
You're not alone.
Much love,
dh0 -
You will do fineDawne.Hope said:Dear Heather,
I was
Dear Heather,
I was terrified too. Terrified until the pathology report came back. You are quite normal. Cancer is scary. I wish I could say something to quell your fears and anxiety. I'm not that eloquent. Maybe some of the sisters will come along and be able to ... but know that we've been there. We really do know what you're going through. Some of us have good pathology reports, others of us, haven't. But we know. We really do know. You're not alone. We are and will be here for you.
I'd encourage you to do whatever relaxes you ... read, exercise, whatever to keep your mind off the fears. One thing I do hope I've learned about experiencing paralyzing fear over the last year is that worry/anxiety does absolutely nothing except give me sleeplessness nights and high blood pressure. Look how far you've come. You were very fearful about the money and that has all worked out. Journal, write out yours fears ... but try not to dwell on them. It will make you crazy. Believe me, I know.
You're not alone.
Much love,
dh
I had my surgery May 26th. I was anxious up until that morning, then a kind of surreal calm came over me. A friend had her surgeon give her something that morning to take to help her stay calm. You might ask yours for something?
Woke up when they had me back in the room but I was pretty well medicated so don't remember alot! Went home the next day and was amazed at how well I felt. Was never in any real pain. Just very stiff and swollen. The worst was when I would wake up in the morning it felt like I had a big chunk of wood stuck in my chest. Wierd sensation but didn't hurt. Did take the pain pills at night so that I could sleep.
I knew I had one lymph node involved because before chemo it was swollen. So I was anxious to get the path report. At my hospital I had the report in two days and it was clean for lymph node envolvement. The one lymph node had all the cancer killed in it!
For me the unknown is all ways the scarest. But like Dawn says worrying about it doesn't do any good. What will be will be, just know you can make it thru. You will be in my prayers.0 -
Hang in thereGrandmaMir said:My surgery was 2 days ago,
My surgery was 2 days ago, Thursday of this week. I found that my anxiety lessened as I got near the date for my surgery. I was nervous on the morning of my surgery but just took things slowly - got to the hospital before my scheduled time and things went smoothly from there. My surgeon did a sentinel node dissection and did not find cancer there so no more nodes had to be removed. I have little pain and I'm not weak. I could walk easily the evening of my surgery.
It's important for you to have family or friend support before and after your mastectomy. I'm sure you'll do fine. Believe in yourself and you can be as strong as you want to be. I'm hoping for the best possibly outcome for you.
You are looking at this backwards. What if they tell you it has not spread And they didn't have to do anything additional ? It is normal to be scared , I was. Took lots of deep breaths and had a wonderful support system. I refused calls needed to stay positive and keep the mood light. My phone helped, listened to the Jimmy Buffett and thought of the beach. I was told that when the pressure cuff goes off it is a hug from this site. Well , when the cuffs on your legs go off it will be me. I can only be there mentally but I will be. If I can do it , anyone can. I am a big chicken and it was not nearly as bad as I Imagined. Hang in there girl !0 -
I was nervous . . .
I had my surgery in Feb '10 - and, yes, I was definitely nervous before that. Besides having my husband and daughter with me that day, I had a wonderful nurse who prepped me for surgery, and my anesthesiologist & doctor were a big source of comfort when they stopped by before surgery. And, keep reminding yourself that you are not alone there - most of us have been there and know what you're going through - and we're by your side!
Lynn0 -
hang in there Heather
I know it is scarey...I was so scared that I was just like a zombie going into my surgery in May. I did have a PET Scan prior and MRI, and knew my tumor of 8.6 cc had shrunk, but I also knew they would be removing lymph nodoes (11 with 4 that were positive). But, if you need something to calm you so you an sleep...ask your doctor. Just remember, you are doing what is necessary, and all will be ok. It is the fear that gets to us...the unknown... even if you do have any lymph node involvement, it will be ok. You are on the path to beat the beast! I did spend 2 nights in hospital........the surgery was not as bad as I imagined....look at how many of us have gone through it. We will all be there for you in spirit...But again, if you are still overanxious etc...call you dr. to get somethibg to calm you a bit. They will give you calming meds when you get to hospital prior to surgery, but it is good to get rest and sleep on the days/nights prior. We are here for you and you will do fine! Hugs0 -
Hi Heather
I was so scared
Hi Heather
I was so scared leading up to my surgery (blm with reconstruction) but when I got to the hospital I felt calmer and just wanted this nasty cancer out of me and move on from there whatever they found. At least when it's over you will know exactly what you are dealing with. You are young and strong and you can do this! Take care of yourself and remember we are all with you. Just think after surgery you will graduate to sophmore status so your moving right along. Kathie0 -
Journal
I like what Dawne said about writing in a journal - I did that and it really helped me. I kept a journal on my computer, and I would even get up in the middle of the night to write down all the things that were going through my head and keeping me from sleeping. I felt like I could relax more once I got those thoughts on "virtual paper" and off my mind.
♥ Lynn ♥0 -
hope this helps
I wish I had had bilateral mastectomies as I ended up having to remove the non-cancerous breast about 5 years later after 2 of my 3 sisters were then diagnosed. Because of that, I am decidedly uneven--a result of having reconstruction at 2 different times.
My 2 sisters had bilateral mastectomies and their outcomes were great in terms of cosmetic results.
But what you are most concerned with is survival. My mass was >5 cm and I had 4 nodes. I was bargaining with the Lord and doing everything I could think of to live to see my daughter reach at least her 12th birthday (she was 4).
That was 23 years ago! My daughter is 28 and just had her first mammogram. Both of my sisters are doing well too.
I am praying that you pull through as well. Please let us know how you do!0 -
It is normalDawne.Hope said:Dear Heather,
I was
Dear Heather,
I was terrified too. Terrified until the pathology report came back. You are quite normal. Cancer is scary. I wish I could say something to quell your fears and anxiety. I'm not that eloquent. Maybe some of the sisters will come along and be able to ... but know that we've been there. We really do know what you're going through. Some of us have good pathology reports, others of us, haven't. But we know. We really do know. You're not alone. We are and will be here for you.
I'd encourage you to do whatever relaxes you ... read, exercise, whatever to keep your mind off the fears. One thing I do hope I've learned about experiencing paralyzing fear over the last year is that worry/anxiety does absolutely nothing except give me sleeplessness nights and high blood pressure. Look how far you've come. You were very fearful about the money and that has all worked out. Journal, write out yours fears ... but try not to dwell on them. It will make you crazy. Believe me, I know.
You're not alone.
Much love,
dh
I think everyone is nervous before surgery, whether it is for bc or for anything else. If we weren't, we wouldn't be normal. So, it is very normal to feel the way you do.
Ask you surgeon if he can give you something to take before surgery to possibly calm you down. If not, try to keep yourself busy, exercise, go somewhere, do something to keep yourself occupied.
Good luck to you with your surgery!0 -
Dear Heather
You are stronger than you think. It is scary to know you have breast cancer at such a young age. I was scared for my sisters when I found out they had breast cancer. When my dr told me he felt a lump, I just knew it was my turn. I'm recovering from my BLM on June 22. I manage to keep the discomfort in check by taking Tylenol a couple of times a day. I was grateful when my surgeon told me that all lymph nodes tested negative. Since you have 2 young children you will need help along the way. My surgeon told me to be very careful about anyone or anything banging into my chest. My 4 year old granddaughter tells me "I'll hug you very carefully Grandma":) Take care Heather and we all will have you in our thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery. Take baby steps toward a brighter future.
Char0 -
Nervous
I think anyone in their right mind would be nervous. From the day of my diagnosis to the day of my surgery, cancer is all I thought about. I kept thinking that if I didn't go ahead and have the surgery quick that it was going to spread before they could get it, crazy huh!!!
I had bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction in April. I was terrified of the surgery, of the results, of the recovery and all of that but I had a strong husband and family to support me through it all. I will not say that it was an easy surgery to recover from but not that bad either. My husband just kept reminding me that we were going to "conquer this beast". Easing the fears and anxiety, I don't know if you completely can but from my experience I did a lot of unnecessary worrying. I wish you the best of luck on your surgery.0 -
Breatheslynch said:Nervous
I think anyone in their right mind would be nervous. From the day of my diagnosis to the day of my surgery, cancer is all I thought about. I kept thinking that if I didn't go ahead and have the surgery quick that it was going to spread before they could get it, crazy huh!!!
I had bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction in April. I was terrified of the surgery, of the results, of the recovery and all of that but I had a strong husband and family to support me through it all. I will not say that it was an easy surgery to recover from but not that bad either. My husband just kept reminding me that we were going to "conquer this beast". Easing the fears and anxiety, I don't know if you completely can but from my experience I did a lot of unnecessary worrying. I wish you the best of luck on your surgery.
Heather,
You are so far ahead of yourself. You have done the research and you have a great plan. You have the girls here (myself included) and a "cool new hairdo". It is normal to be nervous. You seem so positive. From everything I have heard, a positive attitude is the key.
Just read above, (sorry I forgot who said it), worrying about it won't help. Great advice.
Cancer... it is what it is. But it can't take away your strength, your love, your courage...
Take care...0 -
I felt that I had finallySally5 said:Breathe
Heather,
You are so far ahead of yourself. You have done the research and you have a great plan. You have the girls here (myself included) and a "cool new hairdo". It is normal to be nervous. You seem so positive. From everything I have heard, a positive attitude is the key.
Just read above, (sorry I forgot who said it), worrying about it won't help. Great advice.
Cancer... it is what it is. But it can't take away your strength, your love, your courage...
Take care...
I felt that I had finally settled on having cancer and then the other worries set in. you are totally normal. I have learned when that panic sets in to tell myself"this is not happening now, this is what I know today". the worry is a way to gain control. step by step you will get through this. it is a process and we will be holding your hand in the OR. In the past I actually visualized this and it made me calm.0 -
Thank You!
Thank you all so much for your encouraging words & advice. I knew I could count on you! I do have a great support system and such an amazing husband. I've really been trying to think myself into a more positive outlook & it's been helping. So has the xanax. I had TERRIBLE pms the last 4 or 5 days and I'm sure THAT in itself had alot to do with my little freakout.
*hugs*
heather0 -
HeatherHeatherbelle said:Thank You!
Thank you all so much for your encouraging words & advice. I knew I could count on you! I do have a great support system and such an amazing husband. I've really been trying to think myself into a more positive outlook & it's been helping. So has the xanax. I had TERRIBLE pms the last 4 or 5 days and I'm sure THAT in itself had alot to do with my little freakout.
*hugs*
heather
You have children right? Giving birth is worse than this surgery. I remember waiting on the horrific pain I just knew would happen, but it never happened. My back from laying in the hospital bed hurt worse than the surgery. You'll do just fine.0
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