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I am so afraid....

Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2010

Hi everyone
my name is Jacqueline and it has been a week now that my small family is living in a nightmare. After taking my father to the doctor due to a car accident he had a few months back he has had Cat Scans of his back left and right and blood test left and right and now the doctor tells us he has a large amounts of red cells and his blood is extremely thick and has Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD) and maybe he has Cancer, we are all so scared and very worried his doctor advised us to go see an oncologist he referred us to, we are going to take him on Tuesday and it seems like for ever. My father and my small family are very close we would be devastated if something were to happen to him he is the joy of this house and he is a kind person, as i write this I remember a few days before Christmas he had bought some lottery ticked and he won a thousand dollars he was so happy and as him and I walked out the grocery store he saw this man and two children selling mistletoes for one dollar and asked him have you guys had supper yet and the man said no, then the man began to tell him how the economy had gotten to him and his family, his wife and him and three of their children lived in a van after talking to him a few minutes I remember the cold breeze in my face as we were leaving he said hey kid to one of the children here ill buy a mistletoe gave the kid the lottery ticket and said keep the change have a great Christmas. That is the kind of father I have and now he might have cancer, he is 60 years old he has never smoked rarely has a glass of wine and eats healthy. I have read many of your experiences and I thank you greatly because some are just breath taking I'm so scared I am sorry if I have bored you with my story but we are living a nightmare and he seems to be so depressed. He has not been diagnosed but having been referred to an oncologist and told he has some sort of cancer that was not there before I'm talking about a span of months.
I found this page and it was very hesitant to log in as if as me becoming a member I was somehow accepting he will have cancer, but here I am I am probably not making any sense to you guys but all I know is I am so scared. Thank you for everything.

icemantoo's picture
Posts: 3336
Joined: Jan 2010

Having been diagnosed 8 years ago with Kidney Cancer at age 59 and having never smoked I can understand your feelings. People do live long and healthy lives after Kidney Cancer. At this point the doctors need to follow through with their diagnosis and treatment. Hopefully you father will live many heathy years into the future when these issues are resolved.

Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2010

Thank you sooo much for your words,
you can not imagine how good they made
me feel. Best wishes to you icemantoo

donna_lee's picture
Posts: 1004
Joined: Feb 2009

Here's a very short summary of my husband and me. In May 2006, I was Dx'd with Stage IV RCC that they knew had mets to the liver and maybe nodes. I was told I might make it until Christmas. Guess I'm a freak of nature, because I'me here to write this. The surgeons-notice plural, as they each did their specialty- removed R. kidney (left the adrenal gland), L.lobe of liver, a set of positive lymph nodes, and a congenitally defective gall bladder. No meds as I didn't fit the profile for any clinical trial. May of 2007, Dx'd with a positive node attached to the vena-cava and the small intestine. May 2008, another node attached to the aorta. Surgery each time. My belly looks like a single track rail line.

Then 2 years ago my husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 Kidney Disease. He's overweight and has high blood pressure. That's what being a college football lineman can do to you...give you a big appetite so that when you physically start to slow down, you still eat the same. He's doing better and has stabilized the kidney disease, but still has to be careful.

So here's the good news. We are both 67 and have lots more living to do.

Do NOT give up on Dad, and don't let him stay in his depression. There are meds that can help. Tell his Dr.

I have to tell a funny story on my granddaughters- 6 and almost 4. We babysat the other night and one of the make believe games they like to play is "Little Red Riding Hood." We take turns walking thru the halls and kitchen with a basket of plastic food for the grandma, who by then has been eaten by the wolf. The little one told me," you get in bed and be the sick old grandma." I'm not sick, and feel great. What's different from 4 years ago is that I pace myself, eat healthy, and have learned to say no when I want to. My husband and I still own and work in a business that employs another 18 people.

There is life after diagnosis. You just have to learn to live it.

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