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wonderingalice
Posts: 49
Joined: Feb 2010

My mother is amazing and beautiful. We had a really good talk last night and I found myself feeling calm and even happy afterward. We wanted so much more time...but we are lucky we have so many good memories and a closeness that is worth more than anything. She is my favorite person in the world. I know that because of all that we have shared I will be able to find her everywhere. We are both worried about my father. What he will do. We have so much to plan and talk about. I'm going for a week July 3rd through 11th so we can get some things mapped out. They are considering renting an RV and trying to see a few places my mom has always wanted to go. My dad is ready to quit his job but we can't abandon reality entirely. My mom still needs health insurance (hate that this dictates so many important life and family choices in this country).

Mama said she is relieved and not fearful. She says it is harder for my dad and I now. She wanted to make sure I wasn't mad at her for not doing more chemo. I told her of course I wasn't mad, that I'm with her no matter what. That I think she is making the right decision. See what I mean about amazing? This year has been really awful for her - she has suffered so much. Last night she was talking about what she wanted to eat - after being uninterested in food for months. She said she could have had less time, that she just wants to talk and spend as much time together as we can. She talked about Grandpa again, how difficult it was for her, how it was the first thing she thought of when she woke up for a long, long time. She said she knows how much I'm going to miss her.

shortmarge
Posts: 296
Joined: Nov 2008

Cherish your time with her. She sounds amazing and glad that she has reached peace with her decision. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,

Marge

kkstef's picture
kkstef
Posts: 706
Joined: May 2008

Dearest Alice.. How nice that you and your Mom were able to have such a long talk last night. What a gift that the two of you could have this conversation and how much more calm you are today!

It sounds like you have amazing parents, and you are a reflection of that! How nice to just focus on making the very best of whatever days remain. As you know, none of us know how long we will be here so living each day to the max is really what it is all about.

I know you will continue to be a tremendous support for your parents and with such open communication, you will all feel so much better!!

Blessings to you and your family! Please keep us posted!!

BIG HUGS!!!!

Karen

nempark
Posts: 683
Joined: Apr 2010

It truly breaks my heart to read your post. I have been in your place so many times, my mom, my dad, several brothers and most recently my eldest sister. What I know for sure is that we are created by a wonderful God who does not want us to mourn forever when one of our loved ones dies, of course, we will be sad and will miss them dearly but its amazing how much suffering and pain humans can endure and how well we can cope when death shows its ugly face.
Good for mom,she does sound like an amazing lady. When I was diagnosed in November, 2009, all I could think of was how would my Grandchildren, my children and husband cope with me not being here, but guess what, it's the circle of life and we by the Grace of God manage and continue life.
What I would also like to mention, I have a friend who was diagnosed with leukemia, 18 years ago and was given 6 months to live, that was 18 years ago. She consulted a herbalist and is still kicking today. Please see what you can do for mom in terms of nutrition and maybe see if you can consult a herbalist. Who knows, maybe mom can fight this monster. Please keep us informed and be at peace, love mom and don't forget to watch out for dad. I wish I was there to give you and the family big hugs!!!! May God bless you all and may he give you the wisdom to find comfort at this time. Peace and comfort I send you. June

Need Advice
Posts: 6
Joined: Jun 2010

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. But I'm glad to hear your mother is relieved and not fearful, that surley helps her body in fighting off diseases. Has your mother tried any nonconvential treatment? I know there is a lot of foods and herbs that fight off cancer, just to name a few, turmeric,apricot seeds, green tea, garlic,una de gato, et. There's also some good info in the Anticancer book, and you should also look into the book by Suzanne Soomers "Knockout" there some real goood info on nonconvential treatments. So tell your mom to not give up and Keep Fighting! Remember God is big!

Songflower's picture
Songflower
Posts: 631
Joined: Apr 2009

Dear Alice,

Your words squeezed my heart too. I have two daughters. You both have so much love. You are a loving family and you are an amazing young woman. Spend time together now. My father lived five years with colon cancer and I treasure our moments together. I pray to him now and he helps me. We are never really separated. There is a grace that remains in your heart and travels with you and helps you in times of need. I don't want my family grieving forever either; I want them to move on and fullfill their lives. I will live in their hearts forever.

Diane

daisy366's picture
daisy366
Posts: 1493
Joined: Mar 2009

Dear Alice,

I almost missed your post - glad I went back and took a look today because I, too, am touched by the passion both you and your mother have. Facing and talking about death is very difficult. I'm glad you are sharing your experiences here with us.

As I read, I thought of my brother-in-law who was given a 3 month death sentence due to stomach cancer in 1994. He, too, stopped the chemo which made him very ill but decided on quality of life vs. quantity. He practiced guided imagery and anti-cancer nutrition. And proceeded to live his life...... 16 years later he supports his family on the sports store he opened, he ran the Marine Corps marathon, married his daughter, and is now thoroughly enjoying his grandchildren! He is my inspiration and symbol of hope.

None of us knows what is in store for us. I think it is wonderful that your mother is at peace and not fearful. Hopefully this will serve to reassure you.

You, your mom and family are in my prayers. Love, Mary Ann

maggie_wilson's picture
maggie_wilson
Posts: 616
Joined: Nov 2009

mary ann,

i love to read stories like that; they are inspirational, and let us know, yet again, that none of us knows what's ahead for us, certainly not doctors or statistics. i did have a chuckle when you said your brother in law "married his daughter......" of course, i know exactly what you mean. i wonder if your brother in law still practices guided imagery and maintains an anti-cancer diet. obviously, whatever he's done, sure worked.

sisterhood,
maggie

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