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What will I do?

Posts: 49
Joined: Feb 2010

My mother, dearest of all people to me, was diagnosed Stage 3 UPSC endometrial cancer in July 2008. Yesterday she got the results of Monday's CT scan. The "original" recurrence mass on her bladder, debulked 1/22/10, has doubled in size even through 4 courses of Ixempra. There are 2-3 new tumors.

There is one last drug to try, but the tumor assay did not have a favorable response to anything. The doctor was honest in that she didn't think it will buy any more time at this point. The masses are interfering with bladder/kidney and lymph function.

She was told six months. It is time now to make big decisions and plan out the remainder of the year with my little family of three. I am an only child and my Papa is so scared, too.

I don't know what I will do without my Mama in my life. I never thought I would have to say goodbye at 33. I wanted twenty, thirty more years.

I can't make sense of this.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

The time after learning that there is nothing more to be done in a loved ones fight with cancer is very hard. Somehow you will find the strength to support you mom and dad during this difficult time. Forget the calendar. None of us know exactly when our time will end. Celebrate the good days. When able, make new memories. Tell each other you love them. Hug often if you can without causing pain. Call hospice. They can offer help for all of you. Come here as you need to for support. Many here have experienced similar situations. Take care of yourself. . If you have a faith, turn to that for spiritual help. Fay

Posts: 30
Joined: May 2010

Hello woonderingalice,

Reading your post I related instantly. My one and only son has stage 4 esophageal cancer and the prognosis isn't very good at all. It's so shocking to find out something like this, and for it to be such a close loved one. We found out about our "family beast" on March 30th this year, it's only been a short time and it feels like it has been so long. Momma, child, it doesn't matter, the pain is so immense and like you, I am unable to wrap my head around the thought of him not being here much longer, not seeing next summer, hearing the next hit song, not laughing at me when I act silly............I can only pray for God's grace and allow the comfort of friends and family.

I can't make sense of this either.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you. I lost my husband to colon cancer in October,2009 after a6 year battle. We were told from the beginning that the disease was probably "life shortening." so I have some idea of what both of you are feeling. I can only imagine what it is like to be facing this with a child no matter how old the child. We were blessed with a little over 6 years from dx to the end. We put a lot of living into those years and our family has many good memories. You do live on a roller coaster ride with many ups and downs. We laughed together and cried together. We left nothing unsaid, and we hung on to each other. Somehow, I have found the strength to move forward, one step at a time with a few steps back now and then. I often assured my husband that I would be ok, but I had my doubts and fears. We all do. I turn to God often and know that I am blessed with his presence. My prayers and hugs, fay

Posts: 710
Joined: Mar 2010

I am sorry to hear your sad news. Cherish every moment with your mom as I know you will. Take care
hugs 2 u and your family

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