I Absolutely Hate My Surgeon
So this morning I went to see my oncologist because I truly did not understand how I could have immediate reconstruction and how would that affect me getting radiation in the future.
He said I may not need radiation, it would all depend on how deep the cancer is inside of me.
But here is the real kicker................when I told him my surgeon said I have to have a mastectomy he looked at me like that guy is nuts. I should be given an option, before they go and do something so drastic to my body. He said they could offer me to go ahead and start chemo if I want because my tumor is 4.5cm according to my MRI.
The surgeon has this nurse assistant who is supposedly making arrangements for me to see a plastic surgeon, while we were waiting for the oncologist to come in the exam room, our cell phone rang and it was the nurse, she told me that the earliest appointment she could find was July 14th..................................a whole nother month from now.
So when I told that to the oncologist he said, "this is not acceptable" and he would take over and see what he could do for me regarding getting me before a plastic surgeon.
I am sitting here waiting for him to call back. I hate this cancer, I hate my lame **** surgeon and his slow as molasses nurse, and I love my oncologist.
I swear I am dying inside from all the worrying that I am actually dying. Did that make sense?
And if this wasn't enough I swear upon leaving the exam room and walking out I walked by a room that I will refer to as the chamber of horrors, I was creeped out, I'm not so sure I can handle this.
When does this crappy nightmare end? Okay I'm done complaining, thanks for listening.
Comments
-
Ronda, I don't think I like
Ronda, I don't think I like your surgeon either. Have you considered getting a 2nd opinion? Perhaps your oncologist can recommend someone else. You need to be comfortable and confident with your doctors. You are not being treated as you should be...we are not cattle with a number on us. Just my thoughts on this. Sending strength and ((((hugs))) your way!! Stay strong...you can do this.0 -
It Makes Perfect Sense
And I am so sorry that you are having all of this added on top of having to deal with BC. I am glad that you at least have an oncologist that you believe in and is willing to step in for you. I think somewhere in another post you might have said that you had military insurance?? Does that mean that you can't get a second opinion with another surgeon to see if you can find someone that you are comfortable with and trust? It has to make all of this so much harder to be dealing with this and not having a doctor taking charge and coordinating your care and giving you consistent information. There is certainly a lot of research out there about doing chemo first to shrink the tumor so that breast conserving surgery can be done instead of mastectomy if that is what you are interested in. I commend you for going to the oncologist first so that you have more information and pray that he will be able to intervene on your behalf to get you the help and support you need in making these tough decisions.
Chris0 -
I'm sorry
This sounds stressful on top of everything else. First, did you agree to see the plastic surgeon to discuss reconstruction? If not, there is nothing that says you "have to" discuss reconstruction options. If you don't want reconstruction, your surgeon should respect that.
Second, it sounds like there is a difference of opinion between your surgeon and oncologist on whether you should have been offered the option of lumpectomy. You could start chemo right away to shrink the tumor and then have lumpectomy. Otherwise, the size of your tumor versus your breast might have made the surgeon conclude that mastectomy was the only option. I think this is the most salient decision you need to make right now: Chemo now and possibly lumpectomy later; or mastectomy now and chemo afterwards. A second opinion from an oncologist would help in this decision.
I am assuming that the room you walked by that scared you was the chemo infusion room? Don't worry. It is not a chamber of horrors. In fact, people often make friends there! I don't have bad associations with my chemo room at all. You can handle this. You already are.
Hugs,
Mimi0 -
Does the crying ever end?greyhoundluvr said:It Makes Perfect Sense
And I am so sorry that you are having all of this added on top of having to deal with BC. I am glad that you at least have an oncologist that you believe in and is willing to step in for you. I think somewhere in another post you might have said that you had military insurance?? Does that mean that you can't get a second opinion with another surgeon to see if you can find someone that you are comfortable with and trust? It has to make all of this so much harder to be dealing with this and not having a doctor taking charge and coordinating your care and giving you consistent information. There is certainly a lot of research out there about doing chemo first to shrink the tumor so that breast conserving surgery can be done instead of mastectomy if that is what you are interested in. I commend you for going to the oncologist first so that you have more information and pray that he will be able to intervene on your behalf to get you the help and support you need in making these tough decisions.
Chris
Yes we are military, there are only a handful of surgeons at the military hospital and lucky me I got the old goat that has no concern for my happiness or my health. I believe my oncologist is going to pull his weight here in town and I will be seen by one of his peers, and then I can get out of treatment with the navy hospital. As long as TriCare approves it then yes I can be seen off base.
It just makes me so angry that the surgeon and his nurse assistant don't seem to be in any hurry. What if this cancer gets in my blood stream between now and July, and then what will I be fighting?
I am waiting for a call back from the oncologist and since it's now after 4 it probably won't happen today but I will be waiting by the phone until he calls. My nerves can't ake it anymore, I want treated now.
Thanks for letting me scream and cry on all your shoulders.0 -
Thanks mimimimivac said:I'm sorry
This sounds stressful on top of everything else. First, did you agree to see the plastic surgeon to discuss reconstruction? If not, there is nothing that says you "have to" discuss reconstruction options. If you don't want reconstruction, your surgeon should respect that.
Second, it sounds like there is a difference of opinion between your surgeon and oncologist on whether you should have been offered the option of lumpectomy. You could start chemo right away to shrink the tumor and then have lumpectomy. Otherwise, the size of your tumor versus your breast might have made the surgeon conclude that mastectomy was the only option. I think this is the most salient decision you need to make right now: Chemo now and possibly lumpectomy later; or mastectomy now and chemo afterwards. A second opinion from an oncologist would help in this decision.
I am assuming that the room you walked by that scared you was the chemo infusion room? Don't worry. It is not a chamber of horrors. In fact, people often make friends there! I don't have bad associations with my chemo room at all. You can handle this. You already are.
Hugs,
Mimi
I never wanted any reconstruction, it wasn't until he told me that I NEED to see one first before he would take my breats off. Then after meeting with this plastic surgeon he said if I still don't want the reconstruction then he would remove them on July 9th, but honestly I don't want him coming near me, he's rude and thoughtless. He even said to me in a rude sounding voice, "it's not going to look good".
Well yes I'm aware of the ewwwwww feeling I'll get whn I go to look in a mirror, I can accept the grossness of it but still he could have been a little more compassionate.0 -
I can't help much as I had a
I can't help much as I had a lump. and loved my surgeon. I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for you having to go through this issue along with dealing with BC. Some Dr.s are real jerks and cannot treat you like a real person
I hope that you can see someone else and get this all taken care of quickly. Prayers coming your way God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice0 -
My surgeon is probably one
My surgeon is probably one of the best. I am also trying very hard to see the humor in what God has given me. We will be referring to the drains as tentacals, keep watching the victoria outlet sales. I will be going from a nearly a to a solid b and I have never been able to buy bras in the big girl section. My surgeon who is younger than me has less personality than a dried up dog turd floating in the junior league punch bowl. I haven't given up on her though. When she makes rounds I may have on a gorilla mask.
0 -
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahMenda said:My surgeon is probably one
My surgeon is probably one of the best. I am also trying very hard to see the humor in what God has given me. We will be referring to the drains as tentacals, keep watching the victoria outlet sales. I will be going from a nearly a to a solid b and I have never been able to buy bras in the big girl section. My surgeon who is younger than me has less personality than a dried up dog turd floating in the junior league punch bowl. I haven't given up on her though. When she makes rounds I may have on a gorilla mask.
Okay Menda you got me laughing mow!!!!!!
Great news, the oncologist just called and has told me he has a surgeon and a plastic surgeon lined up for me, he's calling back tomorrow with an actual date, and time to go see them!!!! I told you I love this oncologist, he's using his friends in the medical business to hook me up!!!!
There truly are some caring people out there!!! So as soon as I have the appointment times all I have to do is go to the evaluation appointment and go from there!!! I thank God I won't be waiting much longer, thanks ladies for letting me scream and cry.
Love Ronda0 -
Rhonda, what a dilema for you.Menda said:My surgeon is probably one
My surgeon is probably one of the best. I am also trying very hard to see the humor in what God has given me. We will be referring to the drains as tentacals, keep watching the victoria outlet sales. I will be going from a nearly a to a solid b and I have never been able to buy bras in the big girl section. My surgeon who is younger than me has less personality than a dried up dog turd floating in the junior league punch bowl. I haven't given up on her though. When she makes rounds I may have on a gorilla mask.
I did not want reconstruction and would not have wasted my time seeing a plastic surgeon. Is this plastic surgeon giving a "kick-back" to our sugeon for sending him customers? I'm serious. No one can force you into seeing someone you don't want to. You can always have reconstruction later if you chose. And it is your choice.
You have lots of options, chemo first, then lumpectomy etc. Mimi is right on with her advice. I hope you are able to get out of the military systme and see a different surgeon. This is your body and your decision based on their best advice. I don't think your surgion's nurse is slow, it can take that long to get an appt with a specialist. But it doesn't make sense if you are absolutely sure you dont' want reconstruction.
I agree with Mimi on the chamber of horrors. It is not that. They hung a bag of 2 mg Ativan on first and I was as relaxed and watched TV or talked with others or my husband...it was the most pleasant of all of the procedures. You're in a recliner, they usually have blankets, you bring food and drink (definitely drink) and just relax.
All of this is so frightening to you now. I was going thru all of this exactly this time last year and the memory is clear as a bell. Once you actively get in treatment you are not so afraid and are busy fighting the beast. You go one step at a time and then it's over. This waiting and letting your imagination get the best of you is horrible.
Please keep us posted as to what is happening with you.
Hugs, Judy :-)0 -
They're NOT sending you2Floridiansisters said:Does the crying ever end?
Yes we are military, there are only a handful of surgeons at the military hospital and lucky me I got the old goat that has no concern for my happiness or my health. I believe my oncologist is going to pull his weight here in town and I will be seen by one of his peers, and then I can get out of treatment with the navy hospital. As long as TriCare approves it then yes I can be seen off base.
It just makes me so angry that the surgeon and his nurse assistant don't seem to be in any hurry. What if this cancer gets in my blood stream between now and July, and then what will I be fighting?
I am waiting for a call back from the oncologist and since it's now after 4 it probably won't happen today but I will be waiting by the phone until he calls. My nerves can't ake it anymore, I want treated now.
Thanks for letting me scream and cry on all your shoulders.
They're NOT sending you 'out'? Contact Tri-Care, your/his Command, your Ombudsman, even Chaplain. Unless you are the A/D person - then you have to play their games..0 -
Thank you ladies, each and every one of you!!!!Skeezie said:Rhonda, what a dilema for you.
I did not want reconstruction and would not have wasted my time seeing a plastic surgeon. Is this plastic surgeon giving a "kick-back" to our sugeon for sending him customers? I'm serious. No one can force you into seeing someone you don't want to. You can always have reconstruction later if you chose. And it is your choice.
You have lots of options, chemo first, then lumpectomy etc. Mimi is right on with her advice. I hope you are able to get out of the military systme and see a different surgeon. This is your body and your decision based on their best advice. I don't think your surgion's nurse is slow, it can take that long to get an appt with a specialist. But it doesn't make sense if you are absolutely sure you dont' want reconstruction.
I agree with Mimi on the chamber of horrors. It is not that. They hung a bag of 2 mg Ativan on first and I was as relaxed and watched TV or talked with others or my husband...it was the most pleasant of all of the procedures. You're in a recliner, they usually have blankets, you bring food and drink (definitely drink) and just relax.
All of this is so frightening to you now. I was going thru all of this exactly this time last year and the memory is clear as a bell. Once you actively get in treatment you are not so afraid and are busy fighting the beast. You go one step at a time and then it's over. This waiting and letting your imagination get the best of you is horrible.
Please keep us posted as to what is happening with you.
Hugs, Judy :-)
I am truly sorry that all of you had to go throught his horrible desease yourself, but it gives me great comfort knowing that you've all been through it and you know my fear. This is just so horrible, I don't understand how all this can happen to so many of us, it's absolutely terrifying and so unfair.
Thank you rague for giving me your advice, I really do think I am going to be fine once I get out of the care of the navy hospital. Sacred Heart here in town is the major hospital that probably also has many operating rooms compared to the smaller military hospital I've been dealing with.
Thanks ( oh shoot I can't think of your name) Flower....something, thanks for your point of view, I appreciate them all.
Thank you skeezie for reassurring me, you've been a big help these last few days!!! I hope one day I can do the very same for someone else that's just as scared as me. Give yourself a pat on the back because you really do show you care about others!
Love Ronda, I will survive this nightmare somehow.0 -
I would like to bring different point of viewBoppy_of_6 said:I can't help much as I had a
I can't help much as I had a lump. and loved my surgeon. I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for you having to go through this issue along with dealing with BC. Some Dr.s are real jerks and cannot treat you like a real person I hope that you can see someone else and get this all taken care of quickly. Prayers coming your way God Bless
(((Hugs))) Janice
I know the rule no advices. I will be talking about my experience. Yes, There two ways to major approaches to breast cancer with large tumors: surgery then Chemo or Chemo to shrink then surgery. Two approaches to surgeries two:mastectomy or lumpectomy. My surgeon gave me her opinion: if my mass was malignant she recommended mastectomy. I did not hate her for her recommendations. I took her advice and have no regrets. I could insist on different strategy lumpectomy and I am sure she would perform it.
You need to feel comfortable with your surgeon. Probably seeking a second opinion is a good idea. I would recommend to find "breast surgeon" not surgeon general" for a second opinion. You need to look at long term goals.
Good luck with your second opinion,
Hugs,
New Flower0 -
Call yourself2Floridiansisters said:Does the crying ever end?
Yes we are military, there are only a handful of surgeons at the military hospital and lucky me I got the old goat that has no concern for my happiness or my health. I believe my oncologist is going to pull his weight here in town and I will be seen by one of his peers, and then I can get out of treatment with the navy hospital. As long as TriCare approves it then yes I can be seen off base.
It just makes me so angry that the surgeon and his nurse assistant don't seem to be in any hurry. What if this cancer gets in my blood stream between now and July, and then what will I be fighting?
I am waiting for a call back from the oncologist and since it's now after 4 it probably won't happen today but I will be waiting by the phone until he calls. My nerves can't ake it anymore, I want treated now.
Thanks for letting me scream and cry on all your shoulders.
I know I have been in similar situation. You need to push"I was advised by my surgeon.
Good luck0 -
Rhonda, the wonderful thing that happens is2Floridiansisters said:Thank you ladies, each and every one of you!!!!
I am truly sorry that all of you had to go throught his horrible desease yourself, but it gives me great comfort knowing that you've all been through it and you know my fear. This is just so horrible, I don't understand how all this can happen to so many of us, it's absolutely terrifying and so unfair.
Thank you rague for giving me your advice, I really do think I am going to be fine once I get out of the care of the navy hospital. Sacred Heart here in town is the major hospital that probably also has many operating rooms compared to the smaller military hospital I've been dealing with.
Thanks ( oh shoot I can't think of your name) Flower....something, thanks for your point of view, I appreciate them all.
Thank you skeezie for reassurring me, you've been a big help these last few days!!! I hope one day I can do the very same for someone else that's just as scared as me. Give yourself a pat on the back because you really do show you care about others!
Love Ronda, I will survive this nightmare somehow.
when you're out of treatment (and it happens!) you will be doing the same thing we "graduates" are doing and that is to hopefully help the newly diagnosed sisters and/or spouses understand that it's ok to be scared, help to guide the way and let them know they are not alone and to be a shoulder to lean on when at 2:00 am and you can't sleep, thisboard is always open for business.
We have watched your progress from when you first came on the board and we can see your determination and fight mode taking hold. I pray you can get into the civilian hospital (I was married to a GI and my baby ws born in an Army hospital in Germany so I have some understanding of what you are up against) You will find it's a whole other world out there. You are stressed enough without having additional stress heaped on..
Yes, you will survive this nitemare and already you are able to help the newer than you people. None of us a strong or brave, we, just like you, do what we have to do and pray to God for the strength to do it. This is my prayer for you, oh and complete wellness too.
Hugs,Judy :-)0 -
Hmmmmm...
Seems like in your situation you should be treated with a tad more urgency in my opinion. Now I'm no surgeon, doctor or expert of any kind but the fact that he insisted you see a plastic surgeon even though you were clear you were not interested in reconstructing is incrediby irritating. Does he NOT have ears??
Call for a second opinion and explain to the other doctor your situation and your surgeon's lack of sense of urgency.
Maybe the new surgeon will step it up.
You deserve that.
You have every right to feel low about this. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this mess. Don't apologize for venting my sweet Invisi-Sister. That's what we're all here for!
Hang in there and keep us all posted.
xxoo,
SamuraiMom0 -
So sorry
Rhonda, so sorry you're having such a bad experience with surgeon. I'm glad your oncologist has recommended others. Hope it all works out. I really like my breast surgeon. He asked me if I wanted reconstruction on my left breast (which has a precancerous tumor) right after the mastectomy but I've opted to wait until later to do both breasts at the same time. I have a 6.8cm cancerous tumor in the right breast for which I will have a mastectomy. So, yes they are both coming off. I meet with a plastic surgeon tomorrow to go over options for some time in the future. The whole process can be horrifying but we will get through it:)
Char0 -
what I have learned over thecahjah75 said:So sorry
Rhonda, so sorry you're having such a bad experience with surgeon. I'm glad your oncologist has recommended others. Hope it all works out. I really like my breast surgeon. He asked me if I wanted reconstruction on my left breast (which has a precancerous tumor) right after the mastectomy but I've opted to wait until later to do both breasts at the same time. I have a 6.8cm cancerous tumor in the right breast for which I will have a mastectomy. So, yes they are both coming off. I meet with a plastic surgeon tomorrow to go over options for some time in the future. The whole process can be horrifying but we will get through it:)
Char
what I have learned over the years is if I dont like the doc he doesnt have the privledge of being my doc. sometimes I keep them for my own reasons. I am going to change my gyn now that I may need to see someone more than once per year etc... do not take any bull from anyone,you aloneknow your mind/ body what you can deal with and what you want. We dont have a choice about the cancer, but we have choices about other things. You need to have a good elationship withyour docs, i am glad you like your onc because that will be your biggest connection. No worries about you , you will do fine!!!0 -
Hope all goes well.
I'm sorry that you're having problems with your surgeon, but glad that your oncologist stepped in and helped. One thing my surgeon always told me from the first day that I saw him.....He looked straight into my eyes and said, "I'm the surgeon, but it's your body. I can only provide my professional opinion of what to do. However, no matter what, YOU ARE THE BOSS. It's your body and it's a decision that will be with you always." He even turned to my hubby and said that "we can only offer our opinions to her on what she needs to do --lump, mast, mast w/o recon, mast w/recon, etc..--but it's something that she ultimately need to decide since she the only one who knows which one is right for her."
I hope that your new surgeon is as nice and respectful as the one that I have. Wishing you the best.0 -
Oh Thank You Hope!!!Hope 2010 said:Hope all goes well.
I'm sorry that you're having problems with your surgeon, but glad that your oncologist stepped in and helped. One thing my surgeon always told me from the first day that I saw him.....He looked straight into my eyes and said, "I'm the surgeon, but it's your body. I can only provide my professional opinion of what to do. However, no matter what, YOU ARE THE BOSS. It's your body and it's a decision that will be with you always." He even turned to my hubby and said that "we can only offer our opinions to her on what she needs to do --lump, mast, mast w/o recon, mast w/recon, etc..--but it's something that she ultimately need to decide since she the only one who knows which one is right for her."
I hope that your new surgeon is as nice and respectful as the one that I have. Wishing you the best.
You did indeed get a good surgeon, one that understands it is our bodies, not theirs, we have to live inside of it, I can't wait to meet with the new doctor, I'm so happy that my oncoloogist is a decent man. He chose the right field of work becuase it definitely suits him.
Thank you everyone, and goodnight, it's been a long day and a crummy one at that so I bid farewell and I'm heading to bed.
Love Ronda0 -
I love your new pic!carkris said:what I have learned over the
what I have learned over the years is if I dont like the doc he doesnt have the privledge of being my doc. sometimes I keep them for my own reasons. I am going to change my gyn now that I may need to see someone more than once per year etc... do not take any bull from anyone,you aloneknow your mind/ body what you can deal with and what you want. We dont have a choice about the cancer, but we have choices about other things. You need to have a good elationship withyour docs, i am glad you like your onc because that will be your biggest connection. No worries about you , you will do fine!!!
I love your new pic!0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.2K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 440 Bladder Cancer
- 306 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.4K Breast Cancer
- 391 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 12.9K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.3K Kidney Cancer
- 666 Leukemia
- 789 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 235 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 53 Pancreatic Cancer
- 486 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.3K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 532 Sarcoma
- 717 Skin Cancer
- 647 Stomach Cancer
- 190 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.8K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards