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I think my Dr is a perv

kayebadoe's picture
Posts: 81
Joined: May 2010

Ok so my first exam with my Onc, my husband and daughter go along with me. So after we talk for a while he has me get on the exam table. My family is sitting in chairs right behind him. He proceeds to check my nodes. He leans into me and puts his "package" into my knee. At first I thought well he didn't mean to do that, and maybe it wasn't his "package", cause I couldn't look down, cause he had my neck. So this time I go and I am by myself, he goes to check the nodes under my arm and brushes my breast. I'm thinking he's feeling me up, and its disturbing. What do you guys think?

COBRA666's picture
Posts: 2413
Joined: May 2010

KAY, It sounds pretty fishy to me. there is no reason for a person to have to go thru that with the problems we are already facing. Some of these drs think they are gods and untouchable. It doesn't matter what field a person is in, there are pervs in all of them. Let him know by saying would you mind being a little more careful while doing your exam. You could always request another onc if you would feel more comfortable.YOU COULD HINT AS REPORTING HIM AS WELL. That is just a suggestion.
By the way, thanks for the helpful advice about the r-chop treatment and what to expect. John

dixiegirl's picture
Posts: 1043
Joined: Apr 2006

Oh I am so sorry, but I thoroughly cracked up when I read your post. Here's the deal. My first time I didn't know what to think because I also had family there. My onc get's pretty close to me when he's checking me out.......we have 600 lymph nodes in our bodies.

Starts at the neck, then he's up my shirt and down my pants. It does not bother me in the least anymore, and I've had all kinds of family there. Dad, hubby, aunts, and sister-in-laws, and I was EXTREMELY MODEST before cancer. My doc is a very devout christian man who is a complete family man. I never have to get undressed....he works around my clothing.

I did however, go for a second opinion and that doc undid my bra and lingered a little too long for us........my hubby and "surrogate" daughter went with me that time. I DID feel felt up and complained to my normal oncs nurse about it. She told him for me. My comment? Dr. Lee feels me up but I never FEEL felt up, I do not like Dr. B. When I went back for my next appointment we talked about it and he says each doc has their own way of doing things and he apologized to me for the bad impression I had. I told him I really do not want to go back to the cancer center......at least until I have to.

So, talk to him about it honestly. The bad thing about cancer is your body is no longer just yours anymore. The armpit exam is impossible to do without some kind of contact with the boob. You'll get to a comfortable relationship with your onc. Mine is the greatest. I love him. I get a hug EVERY visit, and it's genuine. He prayed with me and had tears in his eyes with my first relapse. The docs come out to the waiting room to get me, he takes me to get my weight. Does all my vitals and not EVER am I left alone. When he's done with the exam he walks me directly to my chemo nurse. I am very well taken care of there. These docs have it RIGHT.

Take care,

Remember to find the humor honey!

bluerose's picture
Posts: 1112
Joined: Jul 2009

One of my first oncologists years back I come to find out years later was actually kicked out because of accusations of sexual assault from nurses he worked with. When I thought back to my days of treatments I remember him telling me stories of other patients that had sexual overtones and at the time I thought of that as being very unprofessional tos ay the least but he was a very casual down to earth kind of guy so I didn't think much of them til I heard the outcome years later.

I have found over and over again through my life that if I have a gut feeling that something is wrong or that I should pay extra attention to something going on concerning me I have learned to trust that instinct. When I don't trust that instinct something invariably goes very very wrong.

If this continues to be uncomfortable for you then perhaps getting another doctor would be in your best interest - you have enough to worry about without this too. If you feel that he should be reported then you can always get in touch with the medical society in your area and file a written complaint but before doing that you should try and get info on any other possible complaints launched against this doctor and how to do that I'm not entirely sure.

Just like in any other field or profession there are the good, the bad and the ugly so just because someone is wearing a lab coat doen't necessarily mean that they are above the law. That doctor I was telling you about that I had who was later charged never came across that way to me with inappropriate touching etc but sometimes it's hard to tell in a physical exam what is too much and what is unnecessary in a physical exam.

Here in Canada when we have physical exams, especially gynecological ones there is always a female nurse present in the room and if for any other physical exam you want to have a female nurse present then you should be able to request that. That often makes a patient feel more comfortable and safe.

All the best. Blessings, Bluerose

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