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Mother dying from Multiple Myeloma at age 59

Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2009

My mother has been fighting cancer for 7 years. Started with breast cancer 7 years ago and survived, now has Multiple Myeloma that was diagnosed 2 years ago. She had the stem cell transplant in Feb 2009, my father and I didn't think she was going to make it but she did. She was doing well, her and my daughter would play and have fun together, around June 2009. In August she had lab work done and the cancer was back.She was doing ok until Thanksgiving and we didn't think she was going to make it but she got better until May 2010. Since May we have seen her suffer with pain and being very weak and getting weaker. The end of May she is getting worse and in June until now we think she is ready to be in a better place. She has not been eating or drinking anything for 3 days. She will take sips of water for her medications but that is it. Sitting here watching her die is the hardest thing for me to deal with. I have been crying so much, I wish this could be easier but it isn't. I hate to say it but I wish it could be over instead of watching her like this. I hate to lose my mother but I know she needs to go to a better place. I have to leave for 4 days to work and I feel so guilty, but I have to work to help support my family. But I also do need a break to take care of myself and family. Plus on top of all this I just started a new job closer to home. My father and I are her primary caregivers. I need emotional support to get through this. My husband is there for me but he doesn't understand how close I am with my parents especially being the only child and a girl and a nurse who has been there for my parents aways. Please Help!!!

HeartofSoul's picture
Posts: 732
Joined: Dec 2009

Im am truly sorry you mom is experiencing this harsh disesse and all of its symptoms. She is a fighter and has shown remarkable resilency for 7 years now. I understand your wanting to her in a better place and a time to rest in peace. Being a cargiver is as difficult and draining as the one going thru cancer and the toll exacted is hard to imagine at times.

Were here to listen and provide comfort to you and it sounds like everything possible was done to sustain her life with dignity. your not alone

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I lost my husband last year after a 6 year battle with colon cancer so I know how difficult it is to watch someone you love dying. Hard doesn't even begin to describe it. My husband even understood and told me that dying was easier than being the caregiver. Please don't feel guilty about doing what you need to do as far as work. It is what your mother would want you to do. Your family's welfare is important to her, too. Don't discount your husband's understanding of your pain. Share it with him. Even if he doesn't fully understand, I am sure he doesn't like to see you in pain even if he can't express that. Know that many here have been through similar times. There are no words that can really help, but we can be here. Take care, Fay

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