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Seems like mom is giving up...

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

Hey all, I do not post much...little background Mom was Dx 3/1 with SCLC w/mets to brain. 5cm tumor on upper right lobe, 20'ish scattered in brain. Did 12 rounds of WBR. Week break, had one chemo, when she went to the second one, she complained of weakness in her legs....did scan and found it had moved to thoratic spine, so back for 12 more rounds of radiation. (that was 3/31)

She just finished up her complete 2nd round last week. The chemo does not seem to bother her, but shortly after the radiation for the spine began, she had horrible nausea. That finally is under control, but she still does not eat or drink enough for a bird. Along with all of this, she has had continual issues with constipation, which has now lead to painful hemmoroids. ....sigh......

She began hallucianting late last week, doc called in anti-biotic incase it was being caused by a UTI. (oh, and she has TRUSH in esophagus, so on antibiotic for that as well)

Thurday she told my stepdad she wanted to die, Friday she told her good friend she wanted to die. Yesterday she told me she wanted to die. I am so sad and so scared and cannot convience her that this is just part of the process and it will pass.

Get's very aggrigavted with all of us telling her she needs to eat, drink....and get out of bed. We are all very supportive, but she has to be an active participant in this!

Thanks for listen, sometimes you just have to vent......

cobra1122's picture
cobra1122
Posts: 244
Joined: Jul 2009

I am truly sorry to hear that your mom is having such feeling, but they are natural given the nature of what she is going through. All you can do, and I realize how hopeless you feel, is try and keep a positive support system around her. It is hard to watch I realize because I see my wife when she sees me in pain and I just can do anything to help her. I get up everyday, thanking God that I am given one more day to share with my wife and family, tho sometimes I hurt so bad I just wish it would all stop. But it is up to me no matter what or how hard others try, to make my time worthy.
Your mom is in that zone that anything would be better than what she is dealing with now. It is hard to escape that zone, given what she is going thro, but you and the family can only continue with the positive input and what the time you share means to you, that every moment you can share you cherish and want to hold on to. It is hard to sit and feel so helpless, but there is only so much any of you can do, except keep the positive input going no matter what.
Cherish the time that you have with each other, remind her how special this time is to you, and that you'll be there for her no matter what. A Caregiver is a thankless emotional roller coaster, that seems out of control, and I give my prayers to all in that position.

Our Prayers and Best wishes to Your Mom, You, Your Family and Everyone,
Dan (cobra1122) and Margi Harmon

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

Thanks Dan....she went to doc for blood work yesterday and they discussed her new issues with hallucinating. Gave her RX for magace to try and stimulate her appetite. I have eaten more in a week than she has the last 10!! Hoping that works.

If she still is having the hallucinations and "not being familiar" with her surroundings come Monday, they are going to take some spinal fluid to test.

I am so hoping she is able to get out of the dark place she is in. Treatments seem to be working and effective, it is just all the other issues that come from it.

Thanks so much for responding, my best to you, Margi and your family, you are truly an inspiration.

Elysia

cobra1122's picture
cobra1122
Posts: 244
Joined: Jul 2009

Elysia
we were glad to hear that the treatments seem to be doing their job, as for ths hallucinations they just need to track down the cause. I realize that doesnt make it any easier, but they need to find the cause. It could be infection, I had a UTI that complicated my mental status, as I have been effected by meds to, they say it is because I already have early onset of Altzeimers and Parkinsons plus suffered a stroke. So they just need time to track down the cause.
Our Prayers and Best Wishes to Your Mom, You, Your Family, and Everyone,
Dan (cobra1122) and Margi Harmon

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