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2 years ago today

Patteee's picture
Patteee
Posts: 950
Joined: Jul 2009

My grandson, Andy was born. He has been the center of my recovery and faith in life.

I knew something was up with me that day. I was already scheduled for a colonoscopy on the 20th. But for 4 blessed days I was a grandma (for the first time) and I could just hold him and breath in his glorious smell and kiss those rosey cheeks. OMG he was beautiful.

And then the colonoscopy on the 20th. Couldn't even complete it, I was nearly completely obstructed. One by one, to my oldest and his gf first- "it is cancer", to my 2 other children, "I have colon cancer", to my mother over the phone, "It is colon cancer", to my sisters- called my co worker, "it is cancer". Met with my administrator the next day, "I have colon cancer". People coming over to see the baby- who knew I had a colonoscopy, gasping with horrified looks on their faces when I told them, "cancer". It was as though my shock was reflected back and I could see it on their faces. Over and over and over again I said the word CANCER.

So much of it is a blur, thank you Lord. Obstructing in the middle of the night and being raced to Mayo, was a nightmare that thankfully is difficult to remember. 3 hospitalizations for chemo reactions- I was so sick. Take down surgery- hernia repair. Cripes it has been almost a year since I had surgery related to this!! WOW

Today, as I did 2 years ago, I held tightly to the most glorious child, my Andy-bear. I am so grateful he is here and so grateful I had him in my life in the past 2 years. It has been a tough time- and I still am defining my new normal. I went to the high school last night and helped for prom- I put a little makeup on and tried not to focus on the still dark circles under my eyes, instead focusing on my big brown eyes with tons of eye make up. LOL It was fun.

To you who are just starting this battle-those in the thick of it - you are never far from my thoughts and prayers. I carry forth your struggle in my heart and soul and I always will.

With love from Minneapolis,

Patty

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Patty,

You have come so far; I am so happy for you! As one of my doctors said, "This is not a sprint, it is a marathon". It is so nice for you to have the little guy to snuggle with. Thanks for your words of support to those of us still "in the battle".

HollyID's picture
HollyID
Posts: 951
Joined: Dec 2009

You are an inspiration and you are an amazing woman!! Thanks for being you!!

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

Hartelijk gefeliciteerd met jouw kleinzon's verjaardag!

(hartfelt congrats with your grandson's birthday).

Hugs, Kathi

Nana2's picture
Nana2
Posts: 255
Joined: Mar 2010

I thank God for our beautiful grand-children too. I love the quote, "The soul is healed by being with children." Gylolr Kostoevsky
They are such a blessing.
Hugs,
April

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Patty,
Children are a true gift! How wonderful that you have had your beautiful grandson to bring you such joy!
Thanks for the encouragement.

Aloha,
Kathleen

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

You have the best gift of all in your arms, the grandkids. New babies are the best and yes the smell of a new baby is an awesome fragrance. Life can be wonderful can't it....Blessings to you and yours, Clift

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Patty,

Grandchildren are life's greatest blessing, aren't they?

*hugs*
Gail

robinvan's picture
robinvan
Posts: 1014
Joined: May 2007

And blessings to you Grandma as you remember and reflect on these past two years of healing and recovery! You done good!

Be well... Rob; in Vancouver

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Your joy and happiness makes me happy as well:)

-Craig

thready's picture
thready
Posts: 475
Joined: Sep 2009

Patty,
Oh your story brought big tears. Time does go by, but so much lingers on. I was diagnosed in on September 3rd, had surgery on September 14th. My daughter in law was very pregnant at that time and although I wanted her at the hospital I was terrified for her. At that time we had so many people in this area that were sick with various flue strains that affected pregnant women. I did not want her to be at more risk than she was.

On October 16th our Gavin was born. He was a true gift as we looked at starting chemo. Yesterday we went to lunch with my son, daughter in law and of course Gavin. Each time I see him, he steals my heart. How I love being a Grandmother! He is now 7 months old.

I am just a month past chemo, doing a pet scan this week, and trying to figure out who I am and where I fit. I am scheduled to go back to work on June 1st. I am not even sure if that is going to happen.

I can tell you that your post is comforting, knowing that you are making it! Thank you so much!
Jan

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