Stay focused and positive.

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Eltina21
Eltina21 Member Posts: 173 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Good Morning and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL OF THE LADIES.
My name is Karen. I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in February, 2010, following a colonscopy. I had a Sigmoid colon resection on March 24th, 2010. They had also removed eight surrounding lymph nodes. After returning to work on April 12th, 2010 as a Disability Examiner for the federal government, I was informed by my Oncologist, that the pathology report showed that of the eight removed lymph nodes, cancer was found in one. Therefore, I will be undergoing chemotherapy. My medical doctors, nurses and couselors, have been excellent. My family and friends are angels walking on the earth. I am very thankful. Living in a townhouse, can present challenges. Many people in my block have multiple cars. Sometimes I have to walk a half of a block or more to get to my home. I went to my neighbors and asked if I could just have the space in front of my door to park, when my chemotherapy begins, so that I will not have to walk far. All of my neighbors agreed except the younger couple directly next door to me. I am in my late 50's and they are in their early 40's, healthy and strong, just overweight. They proceeded to tell me that I did not own the street and they make sure that they park directly in front of my door daily, although there are other spaces available. When I had my port surgery on May 5, 2010, I put chairs in front of my house, so that I could park in front of my door, when I returned home from the hospital. My neighbors had thrown my chairs on the lawn and called the police on me and again parked in front of my door. My other neighbors were horrified. I didn't say a word to them. I posted a sign that stated "To whomever felt the need to call the police on a cancer patient, rather than to allow her to park in front of her own door, I pray for you." I also sent away for a permit from Baltimore City in order to park in front of my door. The next day, my neighbor proceeded to curse at me and had her sister to approach me with the threat that her husband was police officer and that she could call him at the snap of her fingers. At that point, my neighbor and myself both called the police. The office was very professional. She stated that I could not hold a space by placing a chair in it, but I was correct in applying for the permit. My neigbor wanted me to take my posted sign down. Althogh it did not have their names, they didn't want anyone to know of their deed. However, since the sign is on my property, it can remain. I would like to truly thank my other neighbors in the 700 block of Stamford Road in Baltimore, Maryland for their prayers, kindness and support. They are parking differently, so that I am closer to my door. Meanwhile, I still keep my positive attitude and faith for my journey ahead. I plan to be a walking testimony for cancer survival, as well as a volunteer to assist others. Thanks and have a great day.

Comments

  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    #2
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    Hi Karen and Welcome!
    Sorry about that couple. They'll be 'repaid' for their attitude and ugliness. If you want the local TV channel to do a story, our oldest son has contacts. He's on WBAL all the time.

    Will you have someone who can drive you to and from the doctor's office on your disconnect day? I found that to be important. I felt fine until my 46 hour pump disconnect and by time I got home, I had a hard time climbing my front steps. Our middle son took me for disconnect and he and my teenager would help me up the front steps and to a sofa. You'll be fine except for 2 or 3 days after your disconnect. I actually walked 2 miles a day all through chemo except for those 'icky' days after disconnect. I'll be 60 in December.
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #3
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    That sucks
    Actually, you can find their name and add it to the sign. Just go on your city site, look (most likely) in the treasurers site, property, and put in the address. It should give you all the information about the property, including the owner. It is public record.

    Ignore these people, it will drive them nuts. Just don't acknowledge them. Also, most communities, i.e. condos and the such, have a board. Contact the board to see if they will put up a sign that it is a reserved handicap spot for a specific handicap permit which you will need to get. My daughter lives in Chicago city and it is all street parking. Anyway, there are a few spots on her block that are designated handicap spots for a specific handicap permit. Like George has a handicap permit but he cannot park there, it is for a specific permit. Might want to look into that but as far as these people are concerned, ignore them.

    That's all I got.

    Tina
  • Eltina21
    Eltina21 Member Posts: 173 Member
    #4
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    dianetavegia said:

    Hi Karen and Welcome!
    Sorry about that couple. They'll be 'repaid' for their attitude and ugliness. If you want the local TV channel to do a story, our oldest son has contacts. He's on WBAL all the time.

    Will you have someone who can drive you to and from the doctor's office on your disconnect day? I found that to be important. I felt fine until my 46 hour pump disconnect and by time I got home, I had a hard time climbing my front steps. Our middle son took me for disconnect and he and my teenager would help me up the front steps and to a sofa. You'll be fine except for 2 or 3 days after your disconnect. I actually walked 2 miles a day all through chemo except for those 'icky' days after disconnect. I'll be 60 in December.

    Welcome
    Dear Diane,
    Happy Mother's Day and thank you so much for your kind words. You brought tears to my eyes. My son will be going with me to chemotherapy. He is 25, but he has taken this much harder than I have. You see my mother was diagnosed with colorectal cancer July, 1994 and passed away August 13, 1994. She was his favorite grand parent. Her sister passed away from the same disease, in 1996. They were both diagnosed in the late stages of the disease with mestastasis every where. Thank you also for some insight into what the chemotherapy will be like. My prognosis is good for I don't have hypertension, diabetes or heart disease and I caught the disease early. I want to continue to work. I have a sendentary job as a Disability Processing Specialist for Social Security. Right after I was diagnosed it seemed as if every other case that I picked up was a colorectal cancer case. I walk daily as well. If the conflicts with my neighbor escalate, I will contact you about the press. As an ex-flower child from the 1960's I have always loved peace. My favorite song is still "Good Morning Starshine," from Hair and I sing it daily. Please keep in touch, keep smiling and enjoy each day, for it is a gift to us all. Take care and have a wonderful day.

    Sincerely,
    Karen
  • Eltina21
    Eltina21 Member Posts: 173 Member
    #5
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    geotina said:

    That sucks
    Actually, you can find their name and add it to the sign. Just go on your city site, look (most likely) in the treasurers site, property, and put in the address. It should give you all the information about the property, including the owner. It is public record.

    Ignore these people, it will drive them nuts. Just don't acknowledge them. Also, most communities, i.e. condos and the such, have a board. Contact the board to see if they will put up a sign that it is a reserved handicap spot for a specific handicap permit which you will need to get. My daughter lives in Chicago city and it is all street parking. Anyway, there are a few spots on her block that are designated handicap spots for a specific handicap permit. Like George has a handicap permit but he cannot park there, it is for a specific permit. Might want to look into that but as far as these people are concerned, ignore them.

    That's all I got.

    Tina

    Thank you
    Thank you so much for your kind words and support. Have a wonderful day.
    Peace and Blessings,
    Karen
  • LOUSWIFT
    LOUSWIFT Member Posts: 371 Member
    #6
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    parking
    Just an idea call the condo association or city to designate that parking place as a handicapp and have it posted. Then go to the doc and get a handicapp parking permit request letter. Then get you permit. It will help you at your home and elsewhere for treatment etc. I assume the neighbors don't have one. You can do this in Michigan, I hope you can where you live too. By the way people think "relative" cops are some kind of big threat-most cops don't want anything to do with it. However there are stupid cops (I know I was a Sergeant until I retired and supervised some of the best cops and a few of the worst)a simple call to his/her supervisor should solve the problem. Sergeants don't like the complaints about their officers going higher than their level. Good Luck Lou
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    #7
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    Karen
    Hi and Welcome....the good book says I believe...."avoid angry people"....sounds to me like your neighbours are angry maybe selfish people. Try not to waste your precious energy on them hon. Diane is right....if it goes around it will eventually come around.

    Good luck with your chemo and let us know how chemo is going.

    Best best wishes and welcome.

    mags
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    #8
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    welcome!
    Sounds like you are doing a good job of managing a difficult situation. "sandpaper" people are hard to deal with and as others have said, what goes around comes around. Just keep up the fight and don't give your angry neighbors the attention they apparently need but don't deserve. Do the best you can with what you got, which it sounds like you are already doing! Surgery in February and back to work in April, amazing! You are tough and I am sure will prove to be a tough adversary in this fight! I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.
    mary
  • luv3jay
    luv3jay Member Posts: 533 Member
    #9
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    Karen that is awful! People
    Karen that is awful! People can be so cold and heartless. But believe me, I have experienced much worse in my almost 2 year journey. You see, I was stage 4 and ended up having 21 rounds of chemo 4 major surgeries (lungs twice, liver and rectum/colon). I also tried to work during and folks were downright MEAN. Didn't care about the pain, fatigue or anything else. But I was able to learn who I really could count on. And behind God, were my family and a few close friends. It's unfortunate that unless people are going through trials, they don't take the time to care about others. Except here. I ALWAYS found solace here. This group became my second family. I hope you find the same with us. I'm glad you were able to catch yours in the early stages and I'll keep you in my prayers.

    -Sheri
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #10
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    Welcome
    It's good that your son will be going with you to your treatments,thats a big help.I'm sorry about your neighbors,but maybe there is an association that you can go to.Also you can get a handicaped permit thru your doctor,you shouldn't have any problem,and see if you can get the space in front of your house designated as handicap parking.The permit also makes it easier to park when you have to go to the doctors.Stay positive,and happy mothers day.Good luck with you neighbors,and next time they threaten you with the brother-in-law,just say fine,what is his name,I'll call his supervisor.I'll pray things go well for you.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #11
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    Hi
    I'm sorry your neighbors are being so mean, but at least you have all the other great neighbors in your corner. You do need to focus on getting well, so don't get too caught up with the one couple. They obviously are not very kind people.

    I will pray that your treatment will go well.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    #12
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    welcome
    Hello and welcome. I can only echo what so many others have already said. I can't believe your neighbors! As someone said, try not to waste too much mental energy on them. I know it must be hard not to, as it's upsetting how anyone could be so mean and coldhearted, but you've got YOU to think about! It would be worth pursuing what someone mentioned about seeing if you can get that space in front of your house deemed as a handicapped space. I'm glad you have good doctors and many supportive people around you. Your faith in the Lord will keep you strong through it all.

    Hugs to you,
    Lisa
  • Eltina21
    Eltina21 Member Posts: 173 Member
    #13
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    luv3jay said:

    Karen that is awful! People
    Karen that is awful! People can be so cold and heartless. But believe me, I have experienced much worse in my almost 2 year journey. You see, I was stage 4 and ended up having 21 rounds of chemo 4 major surgeries (lungs twice, liver and rectum/colon). I also tried to work during and folks were downright MEAN. Didn't care about the pain, fatigue or anything else. But I was able to learn who I really could count on. And behind God, were my family and a few close friends. It's unfortunate that unless people are going through trials, they don't take the time to care about others. Except here. I ALWAYS found solace here. This group became my second family. I hope you find the same with us. I'm glad you were able to catch yours in the early stages and I'll keep you in my prayers.

    -Sheri

    Encouragement
    Dear Sheri,
    Thank you and all of the members for the encouragement. I am going to truly channel my energy into positive thoughts so that negative energy will not affect my body. The kindness of everyone shows me, that none of us are in this journey alone. I am glad to find my second family here. Thanks again and have a wonderful day.
    Peace and Blessings,
    Karen
  • Eltina21
    Eltina21 Member Posts: 173 Member
    #14
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    tootsie1 said:

    Hi
    I'm sorry your neighbors are being so mean, but at least you have all the other great neighbors in your corner. You do need to focus on getting well, so don't get too caught up with the one couple. They obviously are not very kind people.

    I will pray that your treatment will go well.

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Hi
    Hello Gail,
    Thank you so much and have a wonderful day.
    Peace and Blessings,
    Karen
  • Eltina21
    Eltina21 Member Posts: 173 Member
    #15
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    lisa42 said:

    welcome
    Hello and welcome. I can only echo what so many others have already said. I can't believe your neighbors! As someone said, try not to waste too much mental energy on them. I know it must be hard not to, as it's upsetting how anyone could be so mean and coldhearted, but you've got YOU to think about! It would be worth pursuing what someone mentioned about seeing if you can get that space in front of your house deemed as a handicapped space. I'm glad you have good doctors and many supportive people around you. Your faith in the Lord will keep you strong through it all.

    Hugs to you,
    Lisa

    Welcome
    Dear Lisa,
    Thank you so much for the encouragement. As a child of GOD and even though my neighbors are very mean, I pray for them. Unhappy people try to bring others down and I will not feed into that. We all have so much to be thankful for. I have called for the papers to request a space in front of my house, from Baltimore City. I am just waiting to receive them in the mail. Mean while, I keep smiling through my days and take each day as a gift. Take care and smile as well, it makes life so much easier.
    Peace and Blessings,
    Karen
  • Eltina21
    Eltina21 Member Posts: 173 Member
    #16
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    karguy said:

    Welcome
    It's good that your son will be going with you to your treatments,thats a big help.I'm sorry about your neighbors,but maybe there is an association that you can go to.Also you can get a handicaped permit thru your doctor,you shouldn't have any problem,and see if you can get the space in front of your house designated as handicap parking.The permit also makes it easier to park when you have to go to the doctors.Stay positive,and happy mothers day.Good luck with you neighbors,and next time they threaten you with the brother-in-law,just say fine,what is his name,I'll call his supervisor.I'll pray things go well for you.

    Welcome
    Thank you so much for the advice and keep smiling.
    Peace and Blessings,
    Karen
  • Eltina21
    Eltina21 Member Posts: 173 Member
    #17
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    msccolon said:

    welcome!
    Sounds like you are doing a good job of managing a difficult situation. "sandpaper" people are hard to deal with and as others have said, what goes around comes around. Just keep up the fight and don't give your angry neighbors the attention they apparently need but don't deserve. Do the best you can with what you got, which it sounds like you are already doing! Surgery in February and back to work in April, amazing! You are tough and I am sure will prove to be a tough adversary in this fight! I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.
    mary

    Welcome,
    Dear Mary,
    I hope that you had a great Mother's Day. Thank you so much for the welcome. I try to stay positive. My college roomate had breast cancer, another friend had bladder cancer and I, colorectal cancer. With all of our procedures, I told them that we will be the "Bionic Golden Girls." I shall keep you posted. I continue to walk daily and laugh when ever I can. Keep smiling as well and have a wonderful day.
    Peace and Blessings,
    Karen
  • Eltina21
    Eltina21 Member Posts: 173 Member
    #18
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    maglets said:

    Karen
    Hi and Welcome....the good book says I believe...."avoid angry people"....sounds to me like your neighbours are angry maybe selfish people. Try not to waste your precious energy on them hon. Diane is right....if it goes around it will eventually come around.

    Good luck with your chemo and let us know how chemo is going.

    Best best wishes and welcome.

    mags

    Welcome
    Dear Mags,
    Thank you for the welcome. You are so right. Negative people are wasted energy. I have given the situation to GOD. I shall keep you posted regarding my chemotherapy. I feel that people have been through it or are going through it are able to let me know what to do if or when certain symptoms begin. Keep smiling and have a wonderful day.
    Peace and Blessings,
    Karen
  • Eltina21
    Eltina21 Member Posts: 173 Member
    #19
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    LOUSWIFT said:

    parking
    Just an idea call the condo association or city to designate that parking place as a handicapp and have it posted. Then go to the doc and get a handicapp parking permit request letter. Then get you permit. It will help you at your home and elsewhere for treatment etc. I assume the neighbors don't have one. You can do this in Michigan, I hope you can where you live too. By the way people think "relative" cops are some kind of big threat-most cops don't want anything to do with it. However there are stupid cops (I know I was a Sergeant until I retired and supervised some of the best cops and a few of the worst)a simple call to his/her supervisor should solve the problem. Sergeants don't like the complaints about their officers going higher than their level. Good Luck Lou

    Parking
    Dear Louswift,
    Thank you kindly for the wonderful advice. I have requested the paperwork for handicapped parking from the City of Baltimore. I am just waiting for it to arrive in the mail. I am also taking out a restraining order, so that she will not come onto my property again. This way I will truly concentrate on my treatment. Keep smiling and have a great day.
    Peace and Blessings,
    Karen

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