Hospice

sfmarie
sfmarie Member Posts: 602
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
This is a heart wrenching post for me to write.

Over the weekend, my sister had some more excrutiating pain in her back. She went back to the hospital where they had to re-stent her kidneys and liver. New tumors had grown blocking the stents. She was able to receive much needed pain relief from the surgery. However, it was evident that she was not going to handle any more treatment options, even clincial trials.

The decision to call in hospice was not an easy one. Ultimately, it was her decision to be released from the hospital. She is now at home resting. She will receive pain management from hospice so she is not suffering any more. I will say she was not ready or prepared to hear those words. It has been a heart wrenching time for our family.

Thank you to everyone here on this board for all of their words of encouragement, advice and support. I know I will continue to visit this board and hope I can help others on this journey.
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Comments

  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942
    Oh Marie,
    I'm so sorry to hear this news. Your sister is so very young. Praying for her and the whole family. I am glad to hear she's not in pain....

    I've forgotten the ages of her children. Are they old enough to understand?

    Praying right now and will continue to pray for you all.

    Diane
  • Devasted
    Devasted Member Posts: 185

    Oh Marie,
    I'm so sorry to hear this news. Your sister is so very young. Praying for her and the whole family. I am glad to hear she's not in pain....

    I've forgotten the ages of her children. Are they old enough to understand?

    Praying right now and will continue to pray for you all.

    Diane

    Marie, I'm so sorry..

    I am so sorry, thinking of you and your family.
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673
    Marie,
    My heart goes out to

    Marie,

    My heart goes out to you, your sister + your family. This must have been a terribly difficult decision for your sister to make. I am glad that her pain will be managed. Please know you, your sister + family are in my thoughts. Thank-you for letting us know.
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    AnneCan said:

    Marie,
    My heart goes out to

    Marie,

    My heart goes out to you, your sister + your family. This must have been a terribly difficult decision for your sister to make. I am glad that her pain will be managed. Please know you, your sister + family are in my thoughts. Thank-you for letting us know.

    Oh No....
    This is just devastating, the pain you are also going through, watching her, and you really are a wonderful caregiver. I know how hard that decision is going to be once it's my time, but I know that my body can only take so much as well, and I'll hope to know the signs of when my time comes, I am so sorry you are going through this. My hope is still with her, and so glad she is out of pain. Please let her know and your family, she will be in my thoughts and prayers, and hope for a miracle is always in my heart.

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • Patteee
    Patteee Member Posts: 945
    Oh Marie I am so sorry.
    Oh Marie I am so sorry. Your sister and her family will remain in my prayers and thoughts.
  • Hatshepsut
    Hatshepsut Member Posts: 336 Member
    Good Thoughts


    Marie:

    I've followed your posts about your sister's journey with hope and concern, wishing that she and her family would beat this disease. Please know that you are all in my thoughts and I hope that your sister is able to rest comfortably in the company of her family and friends.

    You have been kind in posting information for me and my husband as we fight his disease, a kindness for which I am forever grateful.

    Your sister is lucky indeed to have such a loving and concerned sister like you. You have fought so hard and with such constancy for her health. I hope you find peace in knowing that you have fought such a determined fight for someone you love.

    Hatshepsut
  • crazylady
    crazylady Member Posts: 543
    so sorry
    Marie,

    I'm so sorry to hear this news about your sister. I was hoping that she would be able to find a treatment that would work for her.

    Jamie
  • grammadebbie
    grammadebbie Member Posts: 464
    Prayers
    Dear One,

    I am so sorry that things have progressed so fast. We never have enough time with those we love. I am praying for you all. Your sister is most blessed to have the support you and the rest of her precious family have given. I pray for peace and comfort for you all.

    Blessings and Big Hugs,

    Debbie
  • Paula G.
    Paula G. Member Posts: 596
    So sorry for this news. I
    So sorry for this news. I was hoping things would turn around for her. My thoughts are with your sis and your family. Love Paula
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    Dear Marie
    Dear Marie,
    You have been such a wonderful advocate for your sister, I know this is very hard for you and your entire family. I pray that your sister can have some pain free days to enjoy her family. You will all be in my prayers in the days ahead. I am so sorry.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • luv3jay
    luv3jay Member Posts: 533
    Your sister and your entire
    Your sister and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    -Sheri
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111
    Dear Marie:
    I am so sorry that it has come to this. I was so hoping for something to help her. Now that the hospice decision has been made may you and your entire family feel some peace knowing that you did everything humanly possible to beat this cancer. May her days ahead be pain free and comfortable.

    I am at a loss for words right now. I was so hoping for something, you and your family are forever in my daily thoughts .........

    Take care - Tina
  • krf
    krf Member Posts: 98
    I am so sorry Marie. Please
    I am so sorry Marie. Please know that ROger and I will be thinking about you and sending love and peace your way.

    Kim
  • mom_2_3
    mom_2_3 Member Posts: 952
    I am truly sorry
    Marie,

    I am so sorry to hear of your sister's challenges. She has been unbelievably brave in the face of this battle and you have been with her every step of the way. As you are lucky to have such a good sister, she is blessed to have you in return. When I have thought of my children's life without me, one thing that has given me some comfort is knowing that I could always count on my sister to be a loving presence in their lives and to be a reminder of the mom that loved them so much. Assure your sister how you will always remind her children about what a brave, intelligent, strong and loving person gave birth to them.

    Marie, I am crying as I write this, for I was so hoping (as I hope for everyone here) that the story had taken a happier road. I send you and your entire family prayers.

    Amy
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625
    so sorry
    Marie,

    I'm saddened to hear this but, at the same time, was glad your sister was able to get some pain relief. I will keep you, her, and of course her family in my thoughts and prayers.

    Hugs to you,
    Lisa
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    So sorry
    Marie, I'm so sorry about this. You have been such a kind and considerate sister, and I know it hurts your heart so much. I'm very glad your sister is able to have her pain under control.

    I'll be praying for your family as you go through this transition.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020
    Sorry
    I am so sorry about your sister,this is a hard time for your family.I will pray for all of you.
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012
    Marie
    I am so sorry to hear about your sister.

    May you have the courage, the wisdom, and the grace to see you through the difficult days ahead. Know that you are not alone Marie and that you can connect here at anytime for support.

    Peace and blessings... Rob; in Vancouver
  • sfmarie
    sfmarie Member Posts: 602
    mom_2_3 said:

    I am truly sorry
    Marie,

    I am so sorry to hear of your sister's challenges. She has been unbelievably brave in the face of this battle and you have been with her every step of the way. As you are lucky to have such a good sister, she is blessed to have you in return. When I have thought of my children's life without me, one thing that has given me some comfort is knowing that I could always count on my sister to be a loving presence in their lives and to be a reminder of the mom that loved them so much. Assure your sister how you will always remind her children about what a brave, intelligent, strong and loving person gave birth to them.

    Marie, I am crying as I write this, for I was so hoping (as I hope for everyone here) that the story had taken a happier road. I send you and your entire family prayers.

    Amy

    Friends
    Thank you for your beautiful messages and continued prayers during this time. My sister has three beautiful children; 4, 6 and 8. They are the joy of her life.
    Does anyone have experience dealing with Hospice? I have some questions about denial.
    Take care and keep fighting. I am cheering for all of you here.
  • Jaylo969
    Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824
    sfmarie said:

    Friends
    Thank you for your beautiful messages and continued prayers during this time. My sister has three beautiful children; 4, 6 and 8. They are the joy of her life.
    Does anyone have experience dealing with Hospice? I have some questions about denial.
    Take care and keep fighting. I am cheering for all of you here.

    Marie
    I am so sorry and sad to hear this news.You have been such a good sister...you remind me of my Sis.

    I an not a hospice nurse but I have worked with hospice patients and families over the years. As a matter of fact, I was my own Father's hospice caregiver prior to my surgery.
    ( and since he is still on Hospice I plan to go back as soon as possible)

    Denial is usually the first response.Then anger, grief, acceptance. ( I might have missed one emotion) Talk to your hospice nurse, your assigned social worker, or chaplain. I find that the nurses are most forthcoming.

    Blessings to you, your sister, and family.

    -Pat