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Making a wise decision

Posts: 5
Joined: Apr 2010

Hi. My dad was diagnosis with tongue cancer stage three and is metastic down to the neck. My father went through chemo and radiation. His last radiation treatment was Feb 15. 2010. The Dr believed that the treatment actually worked. Unfortunately, two month later, they discover a new firm mass in the same location. I asked the doctor what other option he has, his reponse was surgery is the only choice. My concern is that the surgery is very difficult and aggressive. Plus my dad has dementia and he is mildly depressed. The doctor explain that they must remove his tongue, tonsil, and the vocal cord. The will open a hole in the neck and b fed by a g tube. The other choice is let nature take it course. I was overwhelmed and hurt. I went my dad and asked him what does he want me to do. His answer was leave me alone, I ready lived my life and I decided to live in a mess up way. He wants me to sign a DNR paper. I am not ready and can't do it. I feel I have to pull a trigger and my conscious doesn't let me go through with it. Why a daughter has to b put in a horrible decision making?? Has anyone felt like my dad?

Hondo's picture
Posts: 6643
Joined: Apr 2009

Some decisions are hard to make; first be sure your dad doctors are not looking at scar tissue that is so often mistaking for cancer. When I was told for a third time my cancer was back I told my wife I did not want anymore treatment. She was there with me both times and seen all the suffering and pain I went through and she too know my body could not take it again.. It may be a hard decision to make but one I think you need to sit down and talk over with your dad and make it together.

On advice, if you and your dad do decide for no more traditional treatment talk about alternative treatments but be very carful there is a lot of junk out on the internet and most medical doctors don’t know enough about alternative treatments to give you any good advice. I can show you what I am doing but because it is working for me does not mean it will work for everyone. My e-mail is on my post drop me a line.

Take care and I will be praying that your dad and you make the right decision

Posts: 5
Joined: Apr 2010

Thank u for ur advice. Did u do a radical procedure on the tongue
The only problem is that my dad decision is against my decision. He is scare and he mental state of mind won't allow him understand the complete condition. I guess god and faith will allow him to find peace in his heart

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