Apr 16, 2010 - 4:31 am
Hello everyone, just thought I'd up date you all. I have just finished my chemo and find myself struggling. My last treatment was 3 weeks ago. I was a little disappointed with my CA 125 as it only went down from 70 to 65. I have been in control all the way through my treatment, mainly because it was like a "journey" I had to travel along. My hair fell out and I accepted this as I knew it would happen. I put on weight which I hated but accepted it because of the steriods. I have been unable to carry on with my favourite hobby RUNNING but I accepted it because I had put on weight & was tired because of the chemo.
Now it is all finished and I have this kind of dread. It is hard to explain. I desparately want my 'old' life back but I don't think it will ever happen. Going back to work will be very difficult as I am a college lecturer and you have to be 'mentally' alert. I have terrible 'chemo brain' and can't sustain long conversations that involve any type of recall. I have no idea what day it is!! My short term memory is foggy. Physically I am still exhausted. I thought that once I stopped chemo I would soon get my old self back but I am still so exhaused all the time.
I think the rest of my life will be a constant battle.
PS My son left home yesterday. He hasn't moved very far but I feel so sad and lonely as my life will never be the same again.