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Lost too many friends

Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2010

When I read the postings here, I realize what is bothering me doesn’t compare to what so many people are going through. But I wonder if the following seems unusual to y’all, the undisputed experts. First, at 64, I am the last of my original immediate family. My father (57), brother (54), and sister (66) died of heart disease. My mother (69) died of colon cancer. The oddity, to me, is my friends. My best friend from pre-school, my best friend from elementary school and high school, another friend from our high school group, my best friend from college, my best golfing buddy, my brother-in-law, and a good friend from summer church camp have all died young from cancer. I seem to be thinking of them all the time. Do I dwell on this because I am I just missing them? I certainly do. Or am I just feeling sorry for myself and scared? I don’t think that is it. My diagnosis is metastatic melanoma, but we think the surgery got it all. I’m doing the interferon but the prognosis is still 50/50 for five years. I have good family and friend support and am not lonely.

Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2010

i just found out a very dear friend of mine died i can't deal w/ this, this is the 2'd friend to die in 4 months and now two others have been diagnosed. plus richie hayward is now in remission. and all of this within a few months of each other.this is a lot to bear, as a bud and someone that is a team captain for our local relay.........geesh louise, if anyone can respond to this i need some support right now
thx chi7

webozo's picture
Posts: 82
Joined: Feb 2010

time dose not heal all. as time gose on it just gets easier to deal with. you never get over the lost of someone close to you, you will learn to live with it i have found that the best way for me is to get out there and do something in that persons honor. when my mom past i went to our local homeless shelter and worked. when my best friend past i went to a school for handicaped people learning to live on thier own and taught them to cook. when my father-in -law past i took my motorcycle out a drove to his favorite spot and just sat there all day. i have done nothing earth shattering but i took something each of these people love ,enjoyed, or believed in and in there name i worked through the lost i felt. every time i have lost some i have done this sort of thing and not only has it helped me but i hope the people who i have touched. we all grieve differently and in our own way this is just something i do it works for me it might work for you

zahalene's picture
Posts: 680
Joined: Nov 2005

After my mom died I came across a big box of her costume jewelry. I dismantled the pieces and created dozens of Christmas tree ornaments from the pieces, which I then gave to family and friends as mementos of her.
It was very therapeutic.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I think many of us feel that we have lost too many friends to cancer. It seems like every Sunday someone in our church asks for prayer for friends fighting or lost to cancer. We lose others to a variety of things like heart attacks. Death is unfortunately a part of life. I think those who touched us the most in life remain with us in our hearts and thinking about them is our way of keeping them close in death. I am also participating in Relay for Life again this year. It makes me feel like I am doing something positive in the fight against cancer. I wish you the best in your fight against cancer. I think all of the above is the answer to why you are thinking of your past loved ones and friends. You miss them; you have a right to feel sorry for yourself, and of course you're scared. Cancer makes us think about our own mortality. I'm glad you have a good support system with friends and family. Take care, Fay

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