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lost and confused

Posts: 21
Joined: Apr 2010

hi im new here and dont understand the whole message board thing.

but hi my names bob and im very tired and stessed knowing 2 weeks ago mu girlfriend who i want to marry and she was just diagnosed with this PM, im on about 8 hours sleep in 4 days and crying alot.(praying too )

im so lost here, she means the world to me and this happens!

I pray everyday, last nite she had drains and a vat done and is in ICU now.

a few minutes ago the nurse told me she ate, yet its hard for me to eat!

we met online 3 years ago and fell in love

im lost here please help me to find my sanity again, today is day 4 in the hospital and she will be there another 5 atleast.
the worse part is im out of work over a year and trying to make ends meet.
im 45 and shes 49
they remover 900cc's of fluid from her lung and 5.8 liters of fluid from her belly.

i may be ranting on but i dont know, just want someone who understands me to talk to.

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2010

Dear Bob, I'm really sorry to hear about your girlfriend. It sounds like she's being taken care of now. If she's eating, that's a good sign. When my mom was diagnosed I felt like a whirling dervish trying to get information on what she could have, her prognosis, the best hospitals in the area, etc etc. I couldn't sleep, didn't want to leave her side and would let out a weird scream/cry at inopportune moments. I know it's really hard right now. Let the nurses and doctors do their thing and try to take care of yourself. She really needs you now but you have to take care of you first, otherwise you'll be no good to anyone. You and your girlfriend are in my prayers. Keep us posted. Love Holly

Posts: 21
Joined: Apr 2010

holly thanks for your responce!

she was so active and it hit hard and fast with no warnings, back in january the she went to the doctor for a cold and was put on 2 different antibiotics, after the first try didnt work and she was still sick after the second.
it wasnt the doctor that saw her it was a young girl his assistant so i am wondering sometimes if she was miss diagnosed.

bluerose's picture
Posts: 1102
Joined: Jul 2009

I'm sorry about your girlfriend's diagnosis but something really bothers me about what you wrote, that she wasn't seen by a doctor - a young girl who was an assistant diagnosed her, is that right? If that's the case and I might be missing information here and so might you, I would seriously explore that with your girlfriend and get the facts right and have her see another doc for a second opinion. I doubt it would go that far without a proper diagnosis from an oncologist (cancer doctor) but weirder things have happened I bet.

Good luck with it all. Blessings, Bluerose

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2010

Dear Bob, I know the same thing happened to my mom. She went from busily living her life to unable to walk without oxygen. "According" to my mom she had no symptoms, I say it like that because she never ever complained, never wanted to bother me, and I'm a nurse. Go figure. It's really hard to process it when someone gets so sick so fast. I'm still in shock, maybe I'm just slow. It's possible that your girlfriend saw a Physician's assistant in the office. Obviously the cold was just a symptom of a bigger problem. It's frustrating if she was misdiagnosed because every second is so crucial. Especially to you. Hang in there Bob. Take care of yourself. Get as much information as you can. And be there for her. Which of course you already are. You have to advocate for her and love her as much as you can. Take care! Holly

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. It is really hard to face a diagnosis at first. It really does hit hard. Believe me, you are not alone with what you are feeling right now. If I was there, I would tell you to take a deep breath or two. Then stop trying to look too far into the future. Try taking one day, one hour, or even one minute at a time. Try to just be there for your girlfriend. She needs you. I know that is hard. I once told my husband that I wished it was me with cancer, not him. I think many of us feel that way. He told me that that was selfish. He didn't know how he could deal with me having cancer. The truth is that he would have done fine. So will you. Take care of yourself. You need to do that in order to help your girlfriend.just take it one step at a time. Fay

Posts: 21
Joined: Apr 2010

so after all the drains were removed and having her home for a day now i had to call for the ambulance to take her back, now she has numonia :{ then the company that deliver oxygen to the house gave her a machine that only regs to 6 and she needs an 8 !

am I wrong here? I don't know anymore.
I feel bad she had to go back after 12 days in the hospital now another 4 to 5 days and her tummy needs drained again after almost 2 gallons of fluid the first time now its back :(

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