Not sure what to think or feel

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david54
david54 Member Posts: 164 Member
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
My wife has had stage four colon cancer and chemotherapy for two and half years. Her last CT scan showed increased cancer cell growth in her liver and lung. Her oncologist is now offering Cetuximab (Erbitux). The problem is that they no longer have her original biopsy so she will have to undergo another liver biopsy next week to see if her cancer will be responsive to the Cetuximab (something about KRAS testing). He also mentioned for the first time getting chemotherapy at a University – I am assuming he means clinical trials. My gut tells me this is a transition to another phase of her illness, not a good one either. I am not sure what I feel today – tired is the best word, perhaps accepting as well. Of course that could change by tomorrow.

David

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  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #2
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    Hello David
    My husband also has Colon Cancer, Stage IV, mets to the liver and lungs. I would like to invite you to post on the Colorectal Cancer Board. It is an extremely active board. There are lots of people there in the same boat as you and I are. I am the caregiver and there are lots of caregivers on there. Everyone shares everything, and I mean everything. No question is too big or to small. There are some on the Cetuximab drug and they can offer you their experiences. You will get lots of information. Lots of people have also had KRAS testing and they can answer your questions. There is another site called the Colon Club that has more info than the doctors. Some people on the Colorectal board have had several recurrences and are still here and kicking. We recently lost a member who decided to end treatment, he was progressing on everything, and his last post to us was don't let my story be your story, we take the good news along with the not so good news. The board is full of support even during your darkest hours. Take care - Tina xx
  • david54
    david54 Member Posts: 164 Member
    #3
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    geotina said:

    Hello David
    My husband also has Colon Cancer, Stage IV, mets to the liver and lungs. I would like to invite you to post on the Colorectal Cancer Board. It is an extremely active board. There are lots of people there in the same boat as you and I are. I am the caregiver and there are lots of caregivers on there. Everyone shares everything, and I mean everything. No question is too big or to small. There are some on the Cetuximab drug and they can offer you their experiences. You will get lots of information. Lots of people have also had KRAS testing and they can answer your questions. There is another site called the Colon Club that has more info than the doctors. Some people on the Colorectal board have had several recurrences and are still here and kicking. We recently lost a member who decided to end treatment, he was progressing on everything, and his last post to us was don't let my story be your story, we take the good news along with the not so good news. The board is full of support even during your darkest hours. Take care - Tina xx

    Thank You! I shall do
    Thank You! I shall do that.

    David
  • trapped1
    trapped1 Member Posts: 2
    #4
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    your title sentence says it all
    My husband has stage IV non small lung cancer that has spread to brain liver and lymph nodes. We've done whole head radiation and focused radiation and six chemo with erbitux. Lung tumor same size. Everyday just is so uncertain and some times you just want to scream I don't know how I feel.

    Side effects for my husband on erbitux was diahrea and acne like rash on his back and chest. He said it was not that bad.

    Some days I cry and some days I laugh and some times I'm so angry. Some times I am a robot just doing the things that need to be done. Hang in there.

    Isn't amazing the things that go missing or disapear with medical records and such. Hope you like your Dr. and can talk to him/her.

    Cathy
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #5
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    Feelings
    David and Cathy,
    I just wanted to assure you that all your feelings are "normal," if any of this can be considered normal. My husband lived with and fought colon cancer for 6 years before his death in Oct., 2009. I remember getting one report about a recurrence, getting on the elevator, looking at each other, and laughing. Yes, laughing. We had reached the point where neither of us knew what else to do. My husband's sense of humor got us through many bad times. Yet, all those other feelings you talk about were there. We laughed and cried together. I ranted and raved and vented at times. A lot of the time I just felt tired. Living with cancer is hard. Caring for someone with cancer is hard, too. My husband used to tell me that my job was harder than his. I don't know if he was right or not, but it was nice to know that he knew how much I was hurting. It is very hard to watch our loved ones sick and in pain. We want to fix it, but we really can't. I will tell you though, that I now treasure those last 6 years greatly. We managed to put a lot of living into them. My husband was determined to use his good times well. We celebrated every holiday knowing that it could be his last. We spent a lot of time with family and friends. One son said he got to know his dad better in those last 6 years than he had in the other 33 years of his life.
    My wish for you is love and peace. Know that your thoughts and feelings are shared by many. Take care of yourselves, too. Fay

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