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Mom won't talk

julieeks
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2010

Hi all. My mom was dx Stage IIa nsclc (discovered late Dec.) and had a lobectomy 2/5. We'd been given reason to believe they'd gotten it all and that nodes were clear - only to find they really weren't. Today we saw the oncologist to discuss chemo options and were shocked to learn it only reduces risk of recurrence by 10-15%.

My question for those of you going through this - as a survivor or a caregiver - is how do I help my mom talk about what's happening? She's 74 and obviously terrified, but not at all interested in talking about her feelings or in connecting with anyone else who has been through cancer dx and treatment. Her husband suffers from dementia which adds to the mess.

Thanks.

tessyc's picture
tessyc
Posts: 9
Joined: Mar 2010

I can tell you my mom is that way. She is terrified knowing and terrified not knowing. I haven't gotten her to talk to much but I can tell you that she does listen when I ask the questions. So I just make a point of asking every question under the sun. Even if I think I know the answer. In the beginning I used to write them all down. Now they just spew out. Knowledge is power and at least she won't be imagining the worst cause she has the facts. The rest will come out when she's ready...

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