My dad's side effects

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Tina Blondek
Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Hello Caregivers,
I am new to coming to this board. I am usually on the chat line or the esophageal board. My dad was dx with esophageal cancer in 11/08. He had 6 wks of radiation and chemo. He did well.
Hardly had any side effects. Fast forward to december 09, he has severe pain in right side, is jaundice, has ultra sound done, has a blocked bile duct in his liver and lesions on his liver. Had to get stent in bile duct and a stent in the esophagus due to scar tissue. Now he is taking oral chemo xeloda for the liver cancer. He took this same chemo for the ec. This time he is having many more side effects. He is nausea, dizzy, swollen ankles,and sometimes mean and angry. Where does this anger come from? Has anyone had a family member or friend have this kind of side effect? Then the next day he will say he is sorry and will be crying.
Thanks for any help.
Tina

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  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #2
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    could be bad
    Tina, I'm so sorry your Dad is having to go through this. My father died of liver and pancreatic cancer 8 years ago, and he went very fast. I wonder if after this long fight, the reality of your dad's situation is wearing him down more than the medication. Considering the situation he's in, if you really think it's the oral chemo that's making him so miserable, you might ask the doctor about discontinuing it.

    I'm finding my Mom's doc to be easier to work with now that the tea leaves are in the bottom of the cup. Still, handling one complication after another seems to be the name of the game. Then again, it's oh so satisfying to keep things comfy at home rather than living at the hospital.
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #3
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    Barbara53 said:

    could be bad
    Tina, I'm so sorry your Dad is having to go through this. My father died of liver and pancreatic cancer 8 years ago, and he went very fast. I wonder if after this long fight, the reality of your dad's situation is wearing him down more than the medication. Considering the situation he's in, if you really think it's the oral chemo that's making him so miserable, you might ask the doctor about discontinuing it.

    I'm finding my Mom's doc to be easier to work with now that the tea leaves are in the bottom of the cup. Still, handling one complication after another seems to be the name of the game. Then again, it's oh so satisfying to keep things comfy at home rather than living at the hospital.

    Barbara,
    Thank you for
    Barbara,
    Thank you for responding. I think he is definitely on an emotional roller coaster. I am just going to give him some space, and take this ride one day at a time. Received a call from his onc yesterday, he was checking in. Said he was sure that dad would have to do another month of the xeloda chemo. We are thinking that if the dr tells dad to take it another month, he will. Not if mom or I tell him to. We are hanging in there. Thanks again.
    Tina
  • NBTXGIRL
    NBTXGIRL Member Posts: 31
    #4
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    I'm sorry
    Tina,

    I am sorry your father is having a hard time. My father also had really bad side effects, most of them required hospitalizations. Now, Daddy has his good days and bad. Sometimes it is his meds and sometimes I think it is just the reality of it all. He would love to return to his normal life, but he can barely get out of bed unassisted. Unfortunately, my father is actively dying, but I still try to find little goals for him to look forward to in the future. Just understand that all the anger, fears and anxiety you are feeling, he is also feeling them too. I hope today is a good day for all of you. Kim
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #5
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    NBTXGIRL said:

    I'm sorry
    Tina,

    I am sorry your father is having a hard time. My father also had really bad side effects, most of them required hospitalizations. Now, Daddy has his good days and bad. Sometimes it is his meds and sometimes I think it is just the reality of it all. He would love to return to his normal life, but he can barely get out of bed unassisted. Unfortunately, my father is actively dying, but I still try to find little goals for him to look forward to in the future. Just understand that all the anger, fears and anxiety you are feeling, he is also feeling them too. I hope today is a good day for all of you. Kim

    Thank you Kim for your
    Thank you Kim for your response. My father did pass on 3/9/10. Now that I look back on those last weeks and days of his life, he was just voicing his feelings and preparing himself and us for his leaving. Hope your dad has the same peaceful passing that my dad did, in the arms of my mom, brother, and nephew.
    God bless you and your family at this difficult time. Please know that you have all done everything you can for him. Your dad knows that too. Spend as much time as you can with him in his last days.
    sincerely,
    Tina
  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #6
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    Tina Blondek said:

    Thank you Kim for your
    Thank you Kim for your response. My father did pass on 3/9/10. Now that I look back on those last weeks and days of his life, he was just voicing his feelings and preparing himself and us for his leaving. Hope your dad has the same peaceful passing that my dad did, in the arms of my mom, brother, and nephew.
    God bless you and your family at this difficult time. Please know that you have all done everything you can for him. Your dad knows that too. Spend as much time as you can with him in his last days.
    sincerely,
    Tina

    peace and strength
    Tina, I'm sad and happy to hear of your father's passing. Sad for your loss, happy for his peace. I hope you are able to set aside some of the things you saw and heard in his last days. Those are the images that haunted me after my dad died, until I found some happy pictures in family albums and memorized them like never before. Then, when I wanted to switch channels in my head, it was like I'd change the slide in a slide projector.

    You worked so hard as a caregiver, and now I know you'll be there for your mom. Isn't love wonderful stuff?
  • NBTXGIRL
    NBTXGIRL Member Posts: 31
    #7
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    Tina Blondek said:

    Thank you Kim for your
    Thank you Kim for your response. My father did pass on 3/9/10. Now that I look back on those last weeks and days of his life, he was just voicing his feelings and preparing himself and us for his leaving. Hope your dad has the same peaceful passing that my dad did, in the arms of my mom, brother, and nephew.
    God bless you and your family at this difficult time. Please know that you have all done everything you can for him. Your dad knows that too. Spend as much time as you can with him in his last days.
    sincerely,
    Tina

    Tina
    Tina, I want to express my deepest sympathy to you and your family on the loss of your father. I am pleased to hear that his passing was peaceful and surrounded by his loved one. I know you will miss him incredibly, but take great comfort in the fact that his suffering and pain is gone forever. Please take care of yourself. Kim

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