Update on my dad

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emg09
emg09 Member Posts: 228
edited March 2014 in Esophageal Cancer #1
Well, the news is grim for my dad. The oncologist apt. yesterday didn't go so well. She feels my dad is too weak to continue with chemo. She says the chemo will kill him. He is very thin and pail and now VERY depressed. When I was visiting them on Sunday, he looked good to me, besides what I mentioned and I was fully expecting him to have more chemo this Thursday, as was he and my mom. Well, all that has gone down the drain. I'm just not sure what to do or say at this point. It's all so sad and oddly enough to say, so sudden. I don't know if that makes any sense or not. Yes, he's stage 4 and YES, he's had a lot of problems, but for the Dr. to say she doesn't recommend anything else, feels sudden. All decisions are left up to my parents. It's all just so damn sad and horrible. That's all I can say for now.
Erika

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  • Trish_from_Pittsburgh
    Trish_from_Pittsburgh Member Posts: 56
    #2
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    My prayers go out to you and your parents
    Erika,

    I read your recent post about your dad. I'm so sorry to hear he isn't doing well. You said you don't know what to do or say at this point but it looks like the best thing you can do for your dad is to just be there with him: physically, emotionally or spiritually. I'm sure he has a lot on his mind, as do you all,but sometimes you just need some quiet time together. So take some time to be there for him and try to help in any way you can, whether it's to listen to him if he wants to vent, or wants to discuss things, or just wants to hold your hand and be quiet. Enjoy every minute of your time with him. It's never easy to see your loved ones in pain.

    Please know your entire CSN family is praying for you and your mom and dad. Cherish every moment you have with your dad. Sometimes life is so short....and you're right - IT JUST SUCKS!

    Love and hugs,
    Trish
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #3
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  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #4
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    Trish_from_Pittsburgh said:

    My prayers go out to you and your parents
    Erika,

    I read your recent post about your dad. I'm so sorry to hear he isn't doing well. You said you don't know what to do or say at this point but it looks like the best thing you can do for your dad is to just be there with him: physically, emotionally or spiritually. I'm sure he has a lot on his mind, as do you all,but sometimes you just need some quiet time together. So take some time to be there for him and try to help in any way you can, whether it's to listen to him if he wants to vent, or wants to discuss things, or just wants to hold your hand and be quiet. Enjoy every minute of your time with him. It's never easy to see your loved ones in pain.

    Please know your entire CSN family is praying for you and your mom and dad. Cherish every moment you have with your dad. Sometimes life is so short....and you're right - IT JUST SUCKS!

    Love and hugs,
    Trish

    Your dad
    Hey Erika,
    Well yet again our dads are in the same boat. Not surprised. My dad stopped taking his chemo last week, but then reconsidered and started again. Is there any way you can get a second opinion on your dad's chemo? His dr. has been a problem since the beginning hasn't she? It is true that he can be too weak to continue at this time. Can he gain some weight and then start again? Does he still have the feeding tube? I am right there with you girlfriend. Ask for a second opinion. Keep in touch. Hugs and many prayers to you, dad, and mom. Tell your dad belated Happy Birthday!
    Tina
  • K_ann1015
    K_ann1015 Member Posts: 500
    #5
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    Erika, you're right it seems
    Erika, you're right it seems so sudden...but no matter when we get this kind of news---I don't think we can ever feel "ready" or prepared for it. There will be a time for the doctors to say that is all they can do---but if you have not ever had a second opinion and your parents are wanting to fight this more---maybe they can do that now? If not I agree with above...they (dad AND mom) need you. Just love them each day, take one day, week, month, etc at a time. We here are heartbroken as well for all you are going through...
    God Bless
    Kim
  • emg09
    emg09 Member Posts: 228
    #6
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    K_ann1015 said:

    Erika, you're right it seems
    Erika, you're right it seems so sudden...but no matter when we get this kind of news---I don't think we can ever feel "ready" or prepared for it. There will be a time for the doctors to say that is all they can do---but if you have not ever had a second opinion and your parents are wanting to fight this more---maybe they can do that now? If not I agree with above...they (dad AND mom) need you. Just love them each day, take one day, week, month, etc at a time. We here are heartbroken as well for all you are going through...
    God Bless
    Kim

    Thanks for listening
    This is my dad's 3rd cancer center. He was seen at Georgetown in Wash, DC 1st, them I had him moved to Pittsburgh, but with Winter coming and traveling they opted to come closer, putting as at Johns Hopkins. We haven't been overly happy with Hopkins. My dad doesn't want to go back to Pittsburgh, travel is to hard for him now. He wasn't crazy about traveling to PA to begin with, but we had hoped Dr. Luketich would have been the answer, but that wasn't the case. Sherri - how did you do the fish oil. It's worth trying and then to see what happens when he goes back in 1 month. I just want him to feel as good as possible. I haven't talked to him today. I just can't right now. I want to be able to be in a happy mood, not depressed. I'll try to save that for when I get home, if at all possible. My parents and I aren't a real touchy feely type of family. It's all known, but not really spoken, if that makes sense. So, this is going to be very difficult to deal with. I hug my kids all the time and tell them I love them, so that was 1 thing I wanted with my own kids. Anyway, thanks for listening. Tina = I hope the chemo works for your dad. Tell you dad happy belated bday too!!!

    Erika
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #7
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    emg09 said:

    Thanks for listening
    This is my dad's 3rd cancer center. He was seen at Georgetown in Wash, DC 1st, them I had him moved to Pittsburgh, but with Winter coming and traveling they opted to come closer, putting as at Johns Hopkins. We haven't been overly happy with Hopkins. My dad doesn't want to go back to Pittsburgh, travel is to hard for him now. He wasn't crazy about traveling to PA to begin with, but we had hoped Dr. Luketich would have been the answer, but that wasn't the case. Sherri - how did you do the fish oil. It's worth trying and then to see what happens when he goes back in 1 month. I just want him to feel as good as possible. I haven't talked to him today. I just can't right now. I want to be able to be in a happy mood, not depressed. I'll try to save that for when I get home, if at all possible. My parents and I aren't a real touchy feely type of family. It's all known, but not really spoken, if that makes sense. So, this is going to be very difficult to deal with. I hug my kids all the time and tell them I love them, so that was 1 thing I wanted with my own kids. Anyway, thanks for listening. Tina = I hope the chemo works for your dad. Tell you dad happy belated bday too!!!

    Erika

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  • K_ann1015
    K_ann1015 Member Posts: 500
    #8
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    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    protein powder
    I tried to get my mom to give my dad protein powder when he was having trouble during chemo--he got diarrhea, but I really don't think it was the protein powder....(has anyone else had this issue?). I think it was rather a coincidence with progressive chemo & introduction of an antibiotics on top of that. Unfortunately, now they are reluctant to use the protein powder!!!
    Kim
  • Donna70
    Donna70 Member Posts: 852 Member
    #9
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    K_ann1015 said:

    protein powder
    I tried to get my mom to give my dad protein powder when he was having trouble during chemo--he got diarrhea, but I really don't think it was the protein powder....(has anyone else had this issue?). I think it was rather a coincidence with progressive chemo & introduction of an antibiotics on top of that. Unfortunately, now they are reluctant to use the protein powder!!!
    Kim

    Your Dad
    Erika,
    Maybe Sherri is right, see if your Dad can get better nutrition and stronger and then maybe he would be considered a candidate for some type of treatment. Remember what I wrote you in my email, just talk to another group of drs yourself and explain your Dad's case and maybe they could give you a second opinion. It is one thing when the patient says enough is enough, but it is much sadder if the patient wants to fight and his drs don't. Whatever happens, I will be praying for you and your parents for strength for this dilemma. Prayers are with you.
    Donna70
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #10
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    K_ann1015 said:

    protein powder
    I tried to get my mom to give my dad protein powder when he was having trouble during chemo--he got diarrhea, but I really don't think it was the protein powder....(has anyone else had this issue?). I think it was rather a coincidence with progressive chemo & introduction of an antibiotics on top of that. Unfortunately, now they are reluctant to use the protein powder!!!
    Kim

    Protein Powder
    Hi Kim,
    I agree, I do not think the protein did it either. Chemo often makes the person have diarrhea. He needs the protein to keep up his strength. My dad is taking the protein powder as well. Tell him to try his best to keep taking as much protein as he can. Again it is alot of trial and error. Best of luck. Hugs to all of you.
    Tina

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