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The fun of coloncancer

Twymer
Posts: 6
Joined: Feb 2010

So if anybody knows me, they know I hate anything that has to do with the butt! This means going to the bathroom and anything that goes with that.

Then (wicked I told you so music playing in my head)... I found out I have colon cancer.
Okay cancer is bad enough.... But colon cancer? Why not breast cancer? I have 2 children and with age and all that comes with that I was thinking okay I can get perky breasts.Or why not ovarian cancer that runs in my family? I can get used to no monthly visit and I am done having children...Nope I got butt cancer ( no offense meant to anybody).
The indignities that go with colon cancer only a colon cancer victim can understand.
Have you ever had a barium enema? 2 nurses plus a cute Dr in the room. Of course when I had that I had to tell them that I like long walks on the beach, chocolate and hard rock music. (I was born in 1972 so yes i had the big 80's hair) It is a very intimate procedure. Or lets see at the DR's office have you ever seen that chair that lifts your heiny way up in the air? I have never been afraid since my diagnosis and all seems well so far. There is no pretty bow or package that comes with colon cancer. Just tubes,probes and poop.

dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

I'm editing here because I only read the first part of your post and thought you were serious. Didn't realize you were being funny. I was sad for you. I couldn't figure out the replies being so lighthearted til I read the whole thing... Duh, Diane! Reading is fundamental!

You have a GREAT attitude and that's so much of the fight! :o)

I've not seen other posts of yours. Glad to see you're doing well, tho.

Diane

kimby's picture
kimby
Posts: 804
Joined: Oct 2007

Well, I had a teenage son and 2 sons in college when I was diagnosed. I also had a colostomy for 9 months. I couldn't avoid the jokes - they were full of them! I just went with it and decided to have fun. And, so we do. Humor really helps, but you've already figured that out.

Grins and Giggles,

Kimby

lcarper2
Posts: 638
Joined: Dec 2009

well they found it in time to save your life and that counts for something and not all colon cancer involves the butt I had cc and on chemo now and it didn't have anything to do with my butt. It is alot smaller due to the 50 lbs I lost but hey I look like a teenager and I am 62..so keep us posted on how you are doing we will keep you in or thoughts and prayers...

Louann

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victory10
Posts: 75
Joined: Dec 2009

the cancer mass was in my ceacum and my gastrologist actually told me that if he had to choose a type to have it at it would be where mine was located. so i hope that you will begin to see that it doesn't have to be the worst thing that has happened in your life but rather a part of the journey that you can have victory over. It could become a bridge that leades you to a better life filled with receiving love and living...hope this helps...don't get me wrong its a very personal journey when dealing with the butt, intestines and gastro track but it could always be worse is what I tell myself, like those little children dealing with lukemia...

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Crow71
Posts: 681
Joined: Jan 2010

Yes Twymer - the indignities of our cancer - anal, rectal, or colon - are hard to take sometimes. Sometimes we just have to laugh it off. My stoma, named Stewie, has been going off loudly for a few days. Not sure what I ate. My kids laugh and laugh. Especially my 3 year old son who currently thinks that poo-poo, pee-pee, and throw-up are the greatest things in life. My radiation onc has a very attractive intern. It was totally awesome when she stuck her finger up my butt to feel my tumor. Apparently she has short fingers, because she never could feel the tumor. Every other doctor in the city sure could. It was also really cool the next morning at radiation prep when she taped two metal pieces to my anus as a reference point. You guys know what I'm talking about? There I was laying butt up on the table when she walked in. I turned around to see who it was. As I put my face back on the table I realized that as she said good morning she was putting on the gloves. I thought, "She's going to put something up there. Or maybe she wants another round of 'touch my tumor.' Oh Dr. S, you're so hot. Please don't stick anything else up my butt."

Here's a question. Do we have an official color? Breast cancer has pink. Something else has green I think. I know what color ours should be.

The 71 in crow71 is the year of my birth. You had big 80's hair. I had a sweet mullet. So keep on rockin'. Sugar free dark chocolate is good you. Visualize yourself walking on the beach cancer free. (Include the cute Dr. if you like.) And know that you're not alone. Thanks for joining.
Peace,
Roger

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Crow71 asked "Here's a question. Do we have an official color?"

BLUE is the official colon cancer color. Not what I thought it would be either...

Crow71's picture
Crow71
Posts: 681
Joined: Jan 2010

Blue is the one color I haven't pooped!!!

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kristasplace
Posts: 956
Joined: Oct 2007

I'm sorry, Roger! This is the second post i've read from you today, and i may have burst my spleen from laughing!

My surgeon was a petite lady, too, and could barely feel the tumor. All of my other docs didn't have a problem. I don't care how many rectal exams they give you, you never get used to them.

Yes, our colorectal cancer ribbon is a blue, darker than sky blue, but not navy. Someone tried to start a brown ribbon, but thankfully that didn't pan out. It's bad enough that we have a shitty cancer, our ribbon shouldn't be shitty too!

Hugs!
Krista

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eric38
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2009

Our official ribbon color should be brown for obvious reasons.

Eric

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Kerry S
Posts: 607
Joined: Dec 2009

I was very modest guy before I got this crap. The town where I got the chemo/rad is fairly small. Near the end of my rad treatments I told the female tech I hoped I never ran into her at Walmart. I was afraid I would instinctively drop my pants.

I had 2 female Oncs. They do have a thing with the fingers.

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tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Welcome to the board! I thought I had lost all my dignity when I gave birth to my children, but I found out that there ARE more intimate doctor visits. Yikes! And my primary care doctor goes to church with me and is a good friend. When we had to "go there," I was very distressed.

I'm past that now, and I'm even getting sort of used to the fact that every doctor visit includes at least 1 question about "How's your pooping these days?" Oh, well!

*hugs*
Gail

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KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

But, have something happen to the end of your digestive tract, and you find that it is NOT the heart, but the 'waste plant' that rules the day!!! LOL!!!!

For awhile, I retaliated by inserting the word 'rectum' as much as possible into conversations...just to see people wince...in my mind, I was shouting 'It's a part of the body, people, just like all the rest...and, in some ways much more important than things like the breasts, or the (sorry guys) testicles, and especially the appendix!'

BUT, it is what it is...I gave up trying to convince people that it was ok to talk pooh in public..so, when I got my second cancer (!), 6 months after finishing treatment for the rectal cancer, I FINALLY got sympathy...it was breast cancer!!! Ironic, huh?

BIG hugs to a fellow semi-colon!

Hugs, Kathi

P_I_T_A's picture
P_I_T_A
Posts: 133
Joined: Oct 2009

Never would have thought I would be an offical poop inspector! Never gave my BMs any thought. Now I'm checking every one after for blood, etc. Maybe it's just a psychological abnomality of mine.

-DJ

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GOOFYLADIE
Posts: 233
Joined: Aug 2009

I was diagnosed in 1998 at the age of 31. I was the type so modest that I didn't even share a changing room when I went clothes shopping with my best girl friends. Then I got colon cancer and everybody saw me in my most everything, bare nothing in all positions, for all tests etc... So I got even. I got to where I just wanted to crawl in that hole and die I would say just let the damn cancer get me, there not going to make me undress again so then I would laugh and hear myself say those ridiculous things even thou I meant them the moment they came out my mouth. So I went and got the prettiest, sexiest, lingerie I could find that made me feel GREAT!!My doctor was handsome, gorgeous and the most friendly yet medically well rounded professional I had ever met. It gave me a leg up, I got to wear getting undressed in that gown with that lacy lingerie would kind make the nurse back up, make the doctor blush, yet say she is charge of whats going on right now, without saying a word. My doctor thought it was funny, we were great friends, but he came to realize it was something I had to do for me so I would feel so intimidated by it all!!!! Try it!
Goofyladie (Cass)

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Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Cass,
That is the best!!!!

Kathleen

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eric38
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2009

There`s nothing I love more than the tubes up the the butt and the one fingered anal probe. It`s hard to look your doctor in the face after he just stuck his finger up your butt. As a straight male I`m not accustomed to other men sticking things up my butt. What do you say? Sould we follow this up with dinner and a movie? You don`t dare thank your doctor for it. He might get the wrong idea. Does this mean if we were in prison I would be his b**ch? Under normal circumstances, most people would file a sexual harassment suit for unwanted cavity probing. What it boils down to is that it`s all a pain in the butt.

Eric ( : . )

Twymer
Posts: 6
Joined: Feb 2010

I am so very happy to have found this website, wish I had looked before. I knew that only other colorectal cancer survivors or fighters would understand. I tried to explain to my sister once and she kind of looked at me with a oooh yuck! look on her face. But I can say that after my barium enema I had a great time at Nordstroms buying a beautiful gown for a cruise I was going on and passed gas the whold day thru.(AHHH, good times). Thankyou all for your help,upbeat look in life, and laughter. That's what makes us all get thru tough times.

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PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4907
Joined: May 2005

the poop at work post
http://csn.cancer.org/node/184217

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3346
Joined: Jan 2010

Maybe we could get Nudgie to have the colon cancer survivor wings made up as temp tatoo.

That way we could put one on our posterior everytime we need to have a new test or procedure done...might give everyone a laugh!

Marie

eric38's picture
eric38
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2009

Maybe we could get a tattoo on our forehead of our own butt.

Eric

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4907
Joined: May 2005

We are often the BUTT of a lot of jokes.

eric38's picture
eric38
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2009

I am going to pretend that you did not just make a butt pun.

Eric

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Crow71
Posts: 681
Joined: Jan 2010

I tried to get Kim to write "Tumor Here" on my butt with an arrow pointing the way.
"Tumor Here" would be a great name for a band. Anybody want to join?
Roger

GOOFYLADIE's picture
GOOFYLADIE
Posts: 233
Joined: Aug 2009

All the gross tests, or tests that makes us feel so violated you can ask for a male or female Dr to do the test. You can also ask them to put you out for the moment or wait until you have a scope of somekind done so you will be out. So say NO! Unless your out! Wait for the Sigmoidoscopy, or colonoscopy or when your OUT! And Eric all Butt puns are intended you should try the lace underwear I am sure everyone would step back! LOL at least for a moment. No thongs were wore in my experiment. I was always fully covered just laced. LOL Have a good day ya all!
Goofyladie (Cass)

dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

Wouldn't work, guys. I've got forehead lines. The crack runs the wrong way.

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jillpls
Posts: 241
Joined: Mar 2008

I felt like you when I was first DX. I'm very private when it comes to bathroom stuff. Took me a year to go to the bathroom with my husband in the house. I used to wait until he was out of the house, so this tells you how shy I was...Was is the key word. I've had so many butt checks, enemas, barium enemas (with my next door neighbors daughter in the room) and I am now shy free! I even laughed when I had to do the enemas lying on the floor at UCSF. I said God has a sense of humor! I have talked openly at my high school where I worked giving talks about colon cancer, and I'm very open on my blog. I find it's so important to take the inhibitions out of colon cancer. People need to be open and talk about it like they do about breast or prostrate cancer. It's just another part of the anatomy. So I like to hear butt jokes and tell people to get scoped!
JIll

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

I asked my gastro WHAT on earth possessed him, young, freshly into college, when he was faced with the various choices of specialties, he decided he wanted to look up people's BUTTs for a living! He chuckled and said the intestinal tract is really very clean. HELLO!!!!!! We all know and now regularly look at what comes out of it! ICK! :)

Of course I also asked the surgeon who was putting in my port to give me a lift while he was in there :), nothing doing. The one doing the open resection wasn't willing to do a tummy tuck while he was in there either! GEESH! I'm thinking they're already there, what's a few more snips?!
mary

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Twymer,
Your humor is very refreshing. It's good to see people enjoying the joy of laughter.

Have a good one.

Aloha,
Kathleen

mark440's picture
mark440
Posts: 63
Joined: Jan 2010

Hey Twymer... dont sweat it... I have been working at the same prison for 23 years... I was diagnosed and thought ,,, 'GREAT , I cant even get a cool cancer, I have to get it in the BUTT at prison!" I found that dealing with the cards youve been dealt with a bit of humor goes a long way!
I had gone to the cleveland clinic for a consultation and ended up with three enemas with a room full of people and had no idea i was going to have any proceedures done that day so the wife and I were eating pizza and hot wings, drinking beer the night before!!! talk about embarassing,, I felt uncomfortable as heck but made light of the situation..
Im two weeks out of open surgery, home recovering and chemo starts in a few weeks... All my friends at work feel more at ease around me cuz im able to laugh and make BUTT jokes with them.
It will be fine, smile, think of me when I have to go back to work at the "joint" after having my *** operated on!!! life is good!! Mark

pluckey's picture
pluckey
Posts: 484
Joined: Jul 2009

that was my name while i had the illeostomy until a few months ago...the indignities with coping included several leaks and blowouts in public places, poop dripping down clothes etc...lovely

the Barium Enema was one of the most horrific procedures done to me, although the tube down the nose is a close 2nd.

whenever i go to the doctors now and they say "lets run some tests" i tell them they can do anything but stick something in my ***. seriously.

i dread the follow up colonoscopies (the prep) but at least i'll be sedated!
when i go for my liver resection in a couple weeks, i will remind surgeon and nurses "no butt procedures!"

RickMurtagh's picture
RickMurtagh
Posts: 586
Joined: Feb 2010

I was overweight when I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. Now at 60 lbs plus lighter (10 lbs of colon in 30 seconds - sweet!), I am all about weight reduction. I could stand to lose another 10-20 lbs. They found I had a 1.5-2 inch galstone during one of my mri procedures and said I would have to have it taken out. Thank goodness, I was afraid they had run out of things they COULD take out. Now I think I will be well on my way to my weight reduction goals, without lipo or dieting (unless you count not eating and throwing up during chemo dieting).

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

10 lbs in 30 seconds! I've had all kinds of weight reduction through the removal of various body parts! I've had a full hysterectomy, omentectomy (hey, they say that's where the majority of our body fat is stored, so WOO HOOO!), my gall bladder, appendix, part of my colon and part of my small intestine (I think that's it!). Always a silver lining ...
mary

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