R E S P E C T

spongebob
spongebob Member Posts: 2,565
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
To John 23 and the rest of the people on what was once a board filled with support and caring and has now become a forum for the left and right to do cyber battle:

I have been a dedicated member of this board since 2002. I have supported complete strangers through their worst times, shared their victories over cancer, and cried when they lost their fight. We became a close-knot, non-judgmental, supportive family. I looked forward to logging on, sharing experiences and information, giving empathy, and communicating with my "family". We became so close that we decided to finally meet. It was such a joyous experience that we decided to do it regularly and christened the event ColonPalooza.

Now... I have little interest in coming to the board. Some will argue that it's because I am NED and have been for years. To those people I reply that I have a genetic form of cancer and I have little illusion that it won't be back - it has revisited my mother four times - and I will once again face the dragon. No, the reason I don't come back here anymore is precisely because of the rude, snarky, "if you don't subscribe to my beliefs then you're wrong", elietist, entitled, GFY attitude that comes out when someone shares their religious values.

Folks this is a SUPPORT board. I agree, it isn't a religious forum. Did you ever stop to think that the only reason it "becomes" a religious forum is because YOU (the anti-religious people) MAKE it one? You MAKE it one the moment you open a dialogue about how religion doesn't belong here. If you don't want to read about religion, just SKIP THE ****ing POSTS by people you know tend to have a religious bent to their posts. For crying out loud. Frankly, it isn't that difficult. There are certain people who post here whose opinions I do not agree with - the uber-left leaning people who bash religion and pushpolitical rhetoric (yes, I know that my own wife sometimes falls into this category on the right-leaning side, but at least her views are supported by FACTS that are CITED in her posts - I haven't seen that in the posts of the people I am referring to. Give me facts not your half-baked political "opinions" and you might win me over to your political views).

You know, I just spent 10 days anchored in Port au Prince, Haiti treating people who have crushed limbs, have literally had their face ripped off by falling debris, and who have lost EVERYTHING. The smell of death hung in the air. 120,000 people dead - and counting. There are a lot more important things in this world to get your panties in a bunch over than whether or not someone asks for your prayers. If you don't want to do it or if you don't believe in it, then DON'T DO IT. The fact of the matter is, though, that, no matter how much you don't believe in it, there are people in this world who DO pray. GET OVER IT.

Quit being so **** self-righteous, pompus, and narrow-minded. I don't go to church on Sunday either, but I RESPECT people's opinions. If I disagree, I either let it go or RESPECTFULLY reply with FACTS. Yeah, this wasn't a particularly respectful post, but I figure someone will report this as "offensive" and Gretta will be asked to pull it down within a day or so. I suspect it will be one of the people who know that I am speaking directly to them. And that's OK.

In the immortal words of one of my favorite songs: It's better to burn out than just fade away.

To my friends here; you know my e-mail address - drop me a note when you get a chance. I love you all and I DO pray so know that I will pray for all of you. I will pray for your good health, you to find peace, and - most of all - I will pray that you will start to treat each other with the respect that each and every member of this board deserves.

Be well - I'm outta here.

- SpongeBob
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Comments

  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030
    ThANK YOU!
    THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122
    spongebob - et al


    I don't like being singled out

    Perhaps some sort of inner rage caused you to miss my point,
    or perhaps I just did not get my point across properly?

    The comment "YOU (the anti-religious people)", -really- bothered me.

    This is exactly what was annoying some of us here... it's that
    feeling that gets sent, that unless you accept open prayer sessions
    and "join in praying", you are less than religious, or lack moral fiber.

    Some of us are quietly religious, some disregard religion, and some
    very religious; it isn't anyone's business but our own, what we believe in,
    if anything at all.

    I doubt you've ever heard anyone complain about the simple closing
    of a comment, with the words: "You're in my prayers".

    What we do see, are complete threads not of offering help with or
    from "experiences" of the posters, but simple "I'll say a prayer" statements.

    I may be privately saying a prayer, but that's not of concern. If I
    have nothing more to offer than a prayer, I'll do it here, behind my
    laptop, not shout it from the rooftop.

    And why would that be important? Because I don't feel it necessary
    to impose my need to say a prayer on anyone that does not subscribe
    to my beliefs.

    "I'll do a chant". "I'll get into my favorite Yoga position for you"...
    Does it really matter?

    No-one that's said anything here, including myself, has said that
    a simple "you're in my prayers" at the closing of a comment is a "bad thing",
    or unacceptable.

    What -was- said (if time is actually taken to read), is that complete
    threads consisting of nothing but: "you are in our prayers", is uncalled for.
    It will appear to any new reader, that this is some sort of a religious
    forum for people of some particular religious belief.

    It isn't, and it never should become that. And those that are "complaining",
    aren't "complaining", they are just stating what they feel should not
    be taking place in such a predominant manner.

    I'm sorry if that can't be understood better.

    We are all here due to cancer. We all would like to go the right path to
    stay alive. And we all need the input and experiences of others that are
    doing battle with the same affliction.

    I actually pray that you will understand that.


    John
  • nudgie
    nudgie Member Posts: 1,478
    I agree
    with SpongeBob in regards to stating "facts" and not "opinions". I believe in God because of the Bible and I go to Church. To those that do not believe in God that is your right and your belief, and I don't jugde you on your beliefs, so you should have the same respect and NOT judge those that do believe.

    The bible provides "facts", so non-believers, should also provide "facts".

    I will miss you SpongeBob. You helped me greatly during my cancer journey.

    This will be my last post on this subject.
  • StacyGleaso
    StacyGleaso Member Posts: 1,233 Member
    R~E~S~P~E~C~T,
    I'll tell you what it means to me....lol

    I, too, am from the "Old School" around here, being coined one of the "veterans" on this board. I have jumped in head first to many heated debates regarding all kinds of things. A lot of these debates were with really close friends I have on here, and when it was all said & done, we were still close friends who just agreed to disagree.

    This site was a fantastic open forum where no topic was off limits. It wasn't always about cancer, it was about PEOPLE. Dreams, ideas, jokes, and tears were all shared. There was no need to censor anyone's feelings, because there was RESPECT. There is no cookie cutter approach to discussion boards and forums, but there needs to be an understanding that nobody should be personally attacking anyone. Period. If there is a post or comment which offends somebody, then you can do the following:

    Choose to ignore it;
    Comment with an educated response;
    Comment with an uneducated response, and then don't be surprised when you receive the same.

    Last time I checked, we all belong to the same race, that being human. What sets us apart from lower forms of life is our ability to have feelings and communicate (we women will also say our ability to accessorize also sets us apart from lower forms of life!)

    So in my humble opinion, I believe that Katie summed it up best a long time ago....if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I don't think it's necessary to make yourself feel better by ripping someone else a new one.

    Personally, I do go to Mass every single Sunday. That doesn't make me a better person, it's just what I do. I don't need a ticker tape parade or banner flown in the sky to make it a big deal, it's just what I do. I would never fault anyone for NOT going to Mass (or Church, or Services, or ...) because it's not my place to judge. Not everyone is Christian, not everybody believes in God. It's not my job to make them, either. I worry about me and mine and that's sufficient for me.

    So, there you have it. I hope I didn't offend anyone, but then again, I'm sure I may have in some unintentional way.

    Enjoy life people; cherish what you have; don't dwell on what you don't .

    Many hugs,

    Stacy (who constantly does the "Happy Dance" for being NED for over 8 years)
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064
    Thank You Sponger!
    for the work you and your shipmates do for our country. It really puts things into perspective.

    A month after my cancer surgery 9/11 happened. My own world as I knew it had collapsed and I couldn't take in what was happening "out there". I think many on here are experiencing the same and maybe we forget to show the respect in our anguish of our worlds collapsing. Thanks for the reminder.

    I miss the old days.

    torpedos in speedos....sigh.

    peace, emily who prays, does yoga, burns incense, speaks in tongues, wears Birkies, eats organic, recycles, believes Jesus is the Way, and doesn't attend church....
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625
    Spongebob,

    I agree with your post. I think respect is a good thing & it definitely works both ways- to respect beliefs as well as nonbeliefs. Tolerance is being respectful and tolerant of views that do not match your own. I think that includes people expressing both their beliefs and nonbeliefs and not asking people to refrain from referring to their beliefs or nonbeliefs. I think someone asking others to stop speaking about their beliefs or asking for prayer, etc. is being quite intolerant.
    Let's just please all get along and be respectful.

    Lisa
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866
    2bhealed said:

    Thank You Sponger!
    for the work you and your shipmates do for our country. It really puts things into perspective.

    A month after my cancer surgery 9/11 happened. My own world as I knew it had collapsed and I couldn't take in what was happening "out there". I think many on here are experiencing the same and maybe we forget to show the respect in our anguish of our worlds collapsing. Thanks for the reminder.

    I miss the old days.

    torpedos in speedos....sigh.

    peace, emily who prays, does yoga, burns incense, speaks in tongues, wears Birkies, eats organic, recycles, believes Jesus is the Way, and doesn't attend church....

    Em
    I know that the stress we all face certainly compound things and also may shorten fuses. Someone sent this to me today.
    I enjoyed it, I hope you do too.

    You know you are OK in my The Far Side book, as long as you don't wear one of those Snuggie™ Blanket things. When I see the word Snuggie™ I can't but help think of a Wedgie™.

    Love ya Em,
    -phil
    The old days? Were those fights about the Old Testament?
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866
    Great post Bob
    I agree 99% with you. I just find this part confusing.
    "Folks this is a SUPPORT board. I agree, it isn't a religious forum. Did you ever stop to think that the only reason it "becomes" a religious forum is because YOU (the anti-religious people) MAKE it one?"
    Isn't that backwards? I think that if a person's religious belief system wasn't foisted upon everyone else, then it wouldn't become a religious forum.

    The way you put it sounds sort of like "I didn't shoot that person, he walked in front of my bullet".

    Thank you for the great work done in Haiti.

    -phil
  • papajedi
    papajedi Member Posts: 110
    One Way Respect
    There are a few here that have a deep seated hatred of faith of any kind. Phil you are worst for saying and preaching thisgs and issues that do nothing but foster tyhat. You've said things like "every war was a relegious one, God is the worst thing ever created by man, it's nothing but a myth and how could so many people be so deceived, the bible is a fairy tale ect......you accuse others of bias on this forum while you actively promote and practice demeaning others beliefs, making insulting and absurd statements about the validity of christianity in particukar. It's beyond obvious you will insult us while you cry foul at the same time. You speak with a lack of knowledge of the subject, a bitter heart toward christians .
  • papajedi
    papajedi Member Posts: 110
    John23 said:

    spongebob - et al


    I don't like being singled out

    Perhaps some sort of inner rage caused you to miss my point,
    or perhaps I just did not get my point across properly?

    The comment "YOU (the anti-religious people)", -really- bothered me.

    This is exactly what was annoying some of us here... it's that
    feeling that gets sent, that unless you accept open prayer sessions
    and "join in praying", you are less than religious, or lack moral fiber.

    Some of us are quietly religious, some disregard religion, and some
    very religious; it isn't anyone's business but our own, what we believe in,
    if anything at all.

    I doubt you've ever heard anyone complain about the simple closing
    of a comment, with the words: "You're in my prayers".

    What we do see, are complete threads not of offering help with or
    from "experiences" of the posters, but simple "I'll say a prayer" statements.

    I may be privately saying a prayer, but that's not of concern. If I
    have nothing more to offer than a prayer, I'll do it here, behind my
    laptop, not shout it from the rooftop.

    And why would that be important? Because I don't feel it necessary
    to impose my need to say a prayer on anyone that does not subscribe
    to my beliefs.

    "I'll do a chant". "I'll get into my favorite Yoga position for you"...
    Does it really matter?

    No-one that's said anything here, including myself, has said that
    a simple "you're in my prayers" at the closing of a comment is a "bad thing",
    or unacceptable.

    What -was- said (if time is actually taken to read), is that complete
    threads consisting of nothing but: "you are in our prayers", is uncalled for.
    It will appear to any new reader, that this is some sort of a religious
    forum for people of some particular religious belief.

    It isn't, and it never should become that. And those that are "complaining",
    aren't "complaining", they are just stating what they feel should not
    be taking place in such a predominant manner.

    I'm sorry if that can't be understood better.

    We are all here due to cancer. We all would like to go the right path to
    stay alive. And we all need the input and experiences of others that are
    doing battle with the same affliction.

    I actually pray that you will understand that.


    John

    Thank You
    For a good post, very much :)
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866
    papajedi said:

    One Way Respect
    There are a few here that have a deep seated hatred of faith of any kind. Phil you are worst for saying and preaching thisgs and issues that do nothing but foster tyhat. You've said things like "every war was a relegious one, God is the worst thing ever created by man, it's nothing but a myth and how could so many people be so deceived, the bible is a fairy tale ect......you accuse others of bias on this forum while you actively promote and practice demeaning others beliefs, making insulting and absurd statements about the validity of christianity in particukar. It's beyond obvious you will insult us while you cry foul at the same time. You speak with a lack of knowledge of the subject, a bitter heart toward christians .

    Papajedi
    I can see that you are new to the board. If you read what I have written in this forum over the past 5+ years you will find that none of it is even remotely true. Please do not twist the truth to bolster your apparent "beef" with me. I think faith is a great thing and I have no hatred for anyones faith or belief. I actually think that there may be more than one God that people can believe in. I did make a reference about how most wars fought over time had to do with conflicting beliefs and that millions of people have been killed in God's name. You mean history is wrong? I'm sorry that facts bother you. I hope (and pray) you get over your obsession with me and this topic.
    May the force be with you...
  • earthperson2010
    earthperson2010 Member Posts: 15
    PhillieG said:

    Papajedi
    I can see that you are new to the board. If you read what I have written in this forum over the past 5+ years you will find that none of it is even remotely true. Please do not twist the truth to bolster your apparent "beef" with me. I think faith is a great thing and I have no hatred for anyones faith or belief. I actually think that there may be more than one God that people can believe in. I did make a reference about how most wars fought over time had to do with conflicting beliefs and that millions of people have been killed in God's name. You mean history is wrong? I'm sorry that facts bother you. I hope (and pray) you get over your obsession with me and this topic.
    May the force be with you...

    I thought you already left
    phillieg:

    you said that you were out of here. It turns out you are still here. If you can't stand what people write here why wouldn't you just really get out of here.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866

    I thought you already left
    phillieg:

    you said that you were out of here. It turns out you are still here. If you can't stand what people write here why wouldn't you just really get out of here.

    Dear Earthling
    I said "I am not making any statements about the future and my contributions here".
    When are you people going to learn to READ what someone writes and not what you wish I wrote?
  • earthperson2010
    earthperson2010 Member Posts: 15
    PhillieG said:

    Dear Earthling
    I said "I am not making any statements about the future and my contributions here".
    When are you people going to learn to READ what someone writes and not what you wish I wrote?

    from your post
    phillieg,

    this is from your post: "We have lost a bunch of great contributors due to the never-ending theme of the majority of the posts and I am about done here too"

    I guess, you are not done here yet insulting everyone.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866

    from your post
    phillieg,

    this is from your post: "We have lost a bunch of great contributors due to the never-ending theme of the majority of the posts and I am about done here too"

    I guess, you are not done here yet insulting everyone.

    Greg
    "I am about done" is different that "I am done".
    I have insulted no one.
    Your encouragement gives me the incentive to make sure I stay.
    For someone who just joined and made 3 posts, you certainly know a lot about me. I guess you have a knack for sizing up people.
    Thanks Greg
  • lcarper2
    lcarper2 Member Posts: 635
    PhillieG said:

    Greg
    "I am about done" is different that "I am done".
    I have insulted no one.
    Your encouragement gives me the incentive to make sure I stay.
    For someone who just joined and made 3 posts, you certainly know a lot about me. I guess you have a knack for sizing up people.
    Thanks Greg

    greg
    I am new and haven't posted that much I read everything said on here and if I want to I will post a reply I think Phil is talking out of both sides of his mouth I went to the other board where he goes and it was serman city bible verses being written and he chimed right in so I think maybe he likes the smell of the pot he keeps stiring...
  • JR
    JR Member Posts: 139
    Can't we all just get along ---
    Everyone take a deep breath and chill. If I understand everything thats been said here, Phil is trying to get people to understand that this site is for information and support. There is another section of this site to deal with religion and prayer.

    John
  • vcavanagh
    vcavanagh Member Posts: 79
    Ahoy SpongeBob, or should I say Captain Sponge Bob.
    When you get mad, count up to ten - then you'll say it better!
    Remember me, across the Atlantic. It's been a long time but we are both surviving well.
    The Irish whisky still keeps me warm of an evening. Blessings to you and blessings on your great work in Haiti. talk to you again. vcavanagh.
  • earthperson2010
    earthperson2010 Member Posts: 15
    PhillieG said:

    Greg
    "I am about done" is different that "I am done".
    I have insulted no one.
    Your encouragement gives me the incentive to make sure I stay.
    For someone who just joined and made 3 posts, you certainly know a lot about me. I guess you have a knack for sizing up people.
    Thanks Greg

    Either Or
    oh, well then, either stay or go but do not play a game that you will go so that people here would beg you to stay.
  • earthperson2010
    earthperson2010 Member Posts: 15
    lcarper2 said:

    greg
    I am new and haven't posted that much I read everything said on here and if I want to I will post a reply I think Phil is talking out of both sides of his mouth I went to the other board where he goes and it was serman city bible verses being written and he chimed right in so I think maybe he likes the smell of the pot he keeps stiring...

    agree
    i agree it seems that he likes stearing a pot....