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Searching for help

CarTre
Posts: 4
Joined: Jan 2010

Hello all,
I am searching for help, 7 weeks ago my sister had a lot of pain in her hip and called 911, the local hospital put her in an helicopter and flew her to San Antonio, TX, were she was diagnosed with stage IV cancer, colon/bone/long and a brain tumor. They gave her 18 rounds of radiation. Last week she had 2 seizures and they put her in ICU, they called me and said they had been working on her for about 45 minutes, and asked if they should continue or let her go. They stabilized her, but recommended me to place in an hospice, they expalined that there was nothing they could do for her. She is at a hospice.
She is now alert and fighting, she was treatment, but the oncologist that saw her before says it is not recommended for her. She believes in miracles and she is asking me for help.
What would you do? where to turn?

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1576
Joined: May 2009

I am sorry to hear about what you and your sister are going through. The only advice I can give is to get a second opinion, check with another oncologist and have him/her review her case. Unfortunately she may be at a point where treatment will not prolong her life.

I would also like to suggest you spend as much time with your sister as you can, talk to her, comfort her, just be there for her. I know what you are experiencing right now, my brother was on hospice and I spent everyday there talking to him about childhood memories when he was awake and just holding his hand when he slept. When he passed I had no regrets because I knew I had been there to comfort him and to let him know how much he was loved.

Please post again to let us know how she is doing. I truly hope your sister gets her miracle.

Take care and stay strong,
Glenna

CarTre
Posts: 4
Joined: Jan 2010

Hello
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my post. My sister died last Tuesday February 23rd. She suffered so much that I believe dead came to her as a relief.
I did followed your suggestion, 1) I was with her as much as I could and took her hand, told her I was there and that I love her, I prayed with her hand in my hand. 2) I received a second opinion (confirming the first opinion).

I am greatful for your words - Loving my sister forever............... Carmen

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1576
Joined: May 2009

Carmen, I am truly sorry for your loss, I understand what you are going through as I have lost my 2 brothers, both to cancer. You did the only thing you could do for her by being with her and letting her know how much she was loved. Try to stay strong and remember the good times, you will eventually be able to smile when you think of her or a special moment you had with her. I still think of my oldest brother everyday and smile when I think of some of the things he used to say or do, he would not want me sad or crying all of the time. You are right, she is no longer suffering and she will now be watching over you.

I'm sorry it took me so long to respond but we had a bad storm last Thursday and were without power for four days so it is taking me quite a while to read all of the new posts.

My heart goes out to you and your family during this sad time.

Take care and stay strong,
Glenna

Marcie7
Posts: 15
Joined: Jan 2010

I suggest a second opionion also ur sister did not come with a experation date. Miricals happen everyday. give her all the love and support u can. sometimes the more support u have the better u feel. Thats true in my case anyway. my prayers go out to u and ur sister.

CarTre
Posts: 4
Joined: Jan 2010

Marcie 7,
I got the second opinion, it was difficult, but I promised my sister I will do that and I did. Once at the hospital the doctors told me I was wasting time, but I told them that I had promised her that I will get a second opinion, and that I was not going to brake that promise, it was then when they backed off and allowed me to bring another doctor. Unfortunately the second opinion confirmed the first one. She is now with God, with no pain, and I will miss her dearly, I thank her for every minute she gave me and the smiles, she had a big smile, I need to learn to smile like she used to. I love her. Thank you, take care. C

cobra1122's picture
cobra1122
Posts: 244
Joined: Jul 2009

But be ready to acept the reality of this disease. I am on Hospice myself, been on it for a year, but was given 4-6 months, So dont give up hope just be realistic.
I was diagnosised with Stage 4 Lung cancer, NSCLC in my right and lymphs and SCLC in my left, tho it has mets to other parts. I have a complicated Health status, if you read my bio you will understand. But never give up Hope and as hard as it gets keep a positive attitude and give your support to your sister.
She has the right attitude to keep going, to fight and this is a good thing, give her all the positive support you can, but also realize that the time you have together now is so important, a time to laugh, to cherish every moment. My wife and I have learned that we can fight and remain hopeful while understanding that somethings are beyond anyones control. We laugh and I get her worried sometimes with the stunts I pull, but we keep living day by day.
I pray that you and your sister and your family can find the peace that we have, not giving up but in aceptting what we cant change. Living in the day moment by moment and creating memories. We are all heading in the same path disese or not, but our roads differ in the direction. But we can still look to Hope, yet continue on with the day we have.
Yes, My wife used/still has moments when she wants them to fix it, we all do, but she also realizes there is nothing more they can do. Its up to us to live and continue ours lives as best we can, not wasting them trying to find answers that cant be answered.

Our Prayers and Best Wishes to Your Sister, You and Your Family,
Dan (cobra1122) and Margi Harmon

CarTre
Posts: 4
Joined: Jan 2010

Dan,
Thank you very much for your post, your words and your time. My sister died last Tuesday, I feel like I lost a part of myself, and feel a big void, I am glad she is not longer suffering. It was very hard for me to see her in such pain. I pray for you and your wife, that you continue smiling and taking every minute of this life. Take Care, Carmen

nanaof7
Posts: 127
Joined: Feb 2009

your story is alot like mine, my sister was dx with adenocrcinoma and it had spread all over her body by the time they found it, she lived about 2 months after dx. I was with her all night the day before she passed it is an awful thing to watch. I am so sorry you have to go through this. my prayers are with you...

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