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Belief vs logic ....after death

Posts: 102
Joined: Sep 2009

I am sitting here thinking of how to put this so it doesn't sound like I have lost my mind and have decided that there is no way no make this sound less weird but obviously I am looking for feedback. I believe in life after death and in reincarnation. From the time I met my husband we have had a strong bond to the extent that if something happened to him I would feel it and so I thought that his death would be hard to bear because that bond (which I felt in my heart) would be broken. Well, hubby passed away 6 weeks ago and I still feel his presence very strongly. I am told by my grief counsellor that I need to eventually make my peace with his death but thats kinda hard when he's here. Because I believe in reincarnation, I kind of thought he'd have moved on to his next life by now. It would be nice to have him by my side for the rest of my life but I reckon my counsellor will think that unhealthy. So how would you reconcile a belief of an after-life with the grieving process.
and here's my other dilemma...if he moves on and gets reincarnated ( i.e. the last 6 weeks have been a temporary thing which runs out), and I live the average lifetime (another 40 years) he'd be well into his next lifetime and here I'd be still clinging on to memories of him whilst he would have moved on to new relationships. I guess thats the hard thing about being widowed, the relationship hasn't broken down so the association is hard to end.
Thank you for listening to a confused woman.

Marcia527's picture
Posts: 2749
Joined: Jul 2006

I think you are looking at it from a human view point. We don't know anything about the next life. Maybe soul mates wait for the partner. Maybe there is no 'time' and waiting isn't a problem. There must be a next step for him but we don't know the rules of the next life.

Believing in an afterlife helps me with grieving process. I still have my husband but have others who have passed over. I feel grief but it comforts me to know the loved ones are no longer in pain.

You will miss him but death is a natural process. When I pass I hope my family goes on to live a happy life. It doesn't mean they need to forget me, just get on with their life. Six weeks isn't very long. Give it some time and keep going to your counsellor.

So sorry for your loss.

Posts: 102
Joined: Sep 2009

I like that...the concept of time working differently on the other side. I know six weeks isnt long and am trying to be patient with myself.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

It has been three months today since my husband died. (When will I stop counting?)I, too, feel his presence. I don't see that as a bad thing. My beliefs are different from yours. Just from your other posts, I am guessing you are not Christian, but I could be wrong. Anyway, I think he is here to help me move forward. I will always have my memories, though, and that's a form of presence. I don't know what the future will bring. Right now, I am trying to concentrate on the right now. I know that I still feel married. I have had others tell me the same thing. Some have felt that way for years. We are both still in the early days of mourning. We have not lost our minds, we are just a little lost. Fay

Posts: 102
Joined: Sep 2009

Hi Fay
You are right, I am not Christian, I'm Sikh. My faith and belief in my religion is strong. If not for the comfort I get from my religion and my community I believe the last year would have been much more difficult. People say I am strong....I think I am just well-supported. I dont believe feeling hubby's presence is a bad thing but I think its preventing me from processing my grief. I agree with my counsellor...its a hard thing losing your spouse...so no wonder I am sub-consciously "running" away from dealing with it. I keep reminding myself that its early days yet. Sangeeta

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I, too, have the support of my community of faith and my family. I'm glad you have that support, as well. It helps us keep on keeping on. We may find comfort in different religions, but that doesn't change the bond we share here. Fay

PhillieG's picture
Posts: 4839
Joined: May 2005

I have wondered about reincarnation and at times I feel strongly that it could very well happen, other times I'm not so sure. This isn't about my beliefs though, it is about yours.

I do not know much about it but it would seem to me that you very well were connected with your husband before this life so what is there to stop you two from meeting again in the next life? Maybe time is suspended from when his spirit left here and is just waiting for you. It does seem that you are placing a lot of human qualities into reincarnation. I would not think that it all works the same. But I really do now know. I think it's wonderful you found love and I hope you have it forever.

PS: I just noticed rayfar's "comment?" I don't even know what to call it. It has to be some sort of joke but it REALLY is in bad taste. Some people have absolutely no respect for others

Hondo's picture
Posts: 6643
Joined: Apr 2009

I am so sorry to hear about your lost, I am a Christian but also believe that we all have the right to believe what ever we want. In my travels I have found a lot of good people all over the word of different belief and have enjoyed talking with them about God and Religion.

My boss who was like a Father to me for 28 years was an atheist; I have never in my life meet a man whose moral values were equal to his, I lost him 8 years ago right before I started with cancer, he is a big lost in my life.

I know that after you loose someone who was close to you for such a log time there memories stays with you to the point that you can feel they are still there, I am not sure if that is reincarnation or just Love not willing to let go.

My brother is Gay and just lost his mate of over 40 years, it has been very hard on him as for the last 5 years of his life my brother had to care for him because he lost both of his legs. He was telling me stories that he could see Dave in one of his workers, one of them who did not smoke would pick-up one of Dave’s cigar's and light it just like Dave would.

There are a lot of things in this world that we don’t understand because in our wisdom we have little knowledge about the unknown. There are a lot of people trying to tell us about what they don’t understand or force what they think or believe on everyone else. Like I said I am a Christian but the God I serve is not a God of force he is a God of love. I believe in Heaven and I believe it will be a place where many people of different beliefs will be, because they will live up to what they know as truth.

So who is to say where belief and logic will eventually meet.

Take care and I wish you well

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