bad news today

kapper48
kapper48 Member Posts: 85
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I found out today that the reason why I had blood in my urine is the cancer has spread to my bladder. I am really scared right now, its only been 7 months since I had my surgery and already its back. What a horrible day I am having right now, how do I tell my girls this news? Feeling really depressed right now.
Pat
«1

Comments

  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866
    Pat
    Not what you wanted to hear I'm sure...
    What are your options, did you talk with your Onc yet?
    Maybe wait until you know more and can assure them things will be OK before talking to your girls?

    What stage are you and did you do chemo after your surgery?
    Try and hang in there Pat, it ain't over by any means....
    -phil
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    Hi Pat
    This is a tough one

    Hi Pat

    This is a tough one to swallow. I've heard that bladder cancer is treatable and can only hope that is the case here.

    I met a guy in the hospital one time who had this and we was having his bladder remove and having a Urostomy. He was bleeding badly and it was difficult to understand - I was still new to cancer in those early days.

    I don't have experience and I'm scared right along with you. I don't know how old your girls are, but I would think the best thing would be to tell them what is going on and tell them as much as you think their ages would understand. They need to know that Dad is sick.

    This is tough...I'm hoping one of the wiser ones will be behind me to fill in the gaps.

    I'm not going to sit here and blow smoke up your backside and tell you not to be depressed. I think right now, just getting this kind of news, anyone of us would be depressed. It's like getting hit over the head with a cast iron skillet.

    Not sure how spiritual you are but if you are, please pray for some guidance...and if you do, then I'd like to join you with that.

    2010 has not been too kind to our "family" this year as we start out...

    I just feel so badly for you...I know that's not enough, but just talk it over with your onc and see what a potential gameplan could be.

    I'm hoping that your girls and family will rally around you Pat and support you.

    I certainly do - I just don't know what to say right now. This is a shock.

    -Craig
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942
    Pat said: I was also
    Pat said: I was also diagnosed with stage 4 signet ring cell in June of this year. It also spread to my small Intestines and my pelvic area. I started my chemo treatments on Monday of this week and got the pump off today.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Pat, I'm sorry to hear this. I believe your girls are all grown and remember you have grand kids. I'd let them know.

    However, a new bladder can be grown now! Also, a bladder can be created from a pigs bladder. Hoping for good options and good health!
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866

    Pat said: I was also
    Pat said: I was also diagnosed with stage 4 signet ring cell in June of this year. It also spread to my small Intestines and my pelvic area. I started my chemo treatments on Monday of this week and got the pump off today.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Pat, I'm sorry to hear this. I believe your girls are all grown and remember you have grand kids. I'd let them know.

    However, a new bladder can be grown now! Also, a bladder can be created from a pigs bladder. Hoping for good options and good health!

    That's Amazing Diane
    What will Science come up with next???
    I know, a cure for cancer would be nice!
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342
    Pat
    Pat,
    That is hard news to get. I'm sure you'll find the words to tell your girls but I knwo how hard it will be. Wish I had some wisdom to share. Just want you to know we are with you.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • kapper48
    kapper48 Member Posts: 85
    PhillieG said:

    Pat
    Not what you wanted to hear I'm sure...
    What are your options, did you talk with your Onc yet?
    Maybe wait until you know more and can assure them things will be OK before talking to your girls?

    What stage are you and did you do chemo after your surgery?
    Try and hang in there Pat, it ain't over by any means....
    -phil

    Phil, they are telling me
    Phil, they are telling me that we will try and zap it with radiation first, if that dosen't work then I will have to remove my bladder. I am stage 4 and this is my second time around with chemo.
    Pat
  • kapper48
    kapper48 Member Posts: 85
    Sundanceh said:

    Hi Pat
    This is a tough one

    Hi Pat

    This is a tough one to swallow. I've heard that bladder cancer is treatable and can only hope that is the case here.

    I met a guy in the hospital one time who had this and we was having his bladder remove and having a Urostomy. He was bleeding badly and it was difficult to understand - I was still new to cancer in those early days.

    I don't have experience and I'm scared right along with you. I don't know how old your girls are, but I would think the best thing would be to tell them what is going on and tell them as much as you think their ages would understand. They need to know that Dad is sick.

    This is tough...I'm hoping one of the wiser ones will be behind me to fill in the gaps.

    I'm not going to sit here and blow smoke up your backside and tell you not to be depressed. I think right now, just getting this kind of news, anyone of us would be depressed. It's like getting hit over the head with a cast iron skillet.

    Not sure how spiritual you are but if you are, please pray for some guidance...and if you do, then I'd like to join you with that.

    2010 has not been too kind to our "family" this year as we start out...

    I just feel so badly for you...I know that's not enough, but just talk it over with your onc and see what a potential gameplan could be.

    I'm hoping that your girls and family will rally around you Pat and support you.

    I certainly do - I just don't know what to say right now. This is a shock.

    -Craig

    thank you Craig, I know my 3
    thank you Craig, I know my 3 older girls will understand but my 11 and 14 year olds are going to have a tough time with this. I have been telling them that their daddy was getting better and that the cancer was leaveing and now this.
    Pat
  • kapper48
    kapper48 Member Posts: 85

    Pat said: I was also
    Pat said: I was also diagnosed with stage 4 signet ring cell in June of this year. It also spread to my small Intestines and my pelvic area. I started my chemo treatments on Monday of this week and got the pump off today.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Pat, I'm sorry to hear this. I believe your girls are all grown and remember you have grand kids. I'd let them know.

    However, a new bladder can be grown now! Also, a bladder can be created from a pigs bladder. Hoping for good options and good health!

    Hi Diane, thanks for your
    Hi Diane, thanks for your support, I am ok with the 3 older girls. Just worried about the 2 younger ones. I will have to check out the pigs bladder thing. I already have 1 bag and I don't think I could handle another one
    Pat
  • kapper48
    kapper48 Member Posts: 85

    Pat
    Pat,
    That is hard news to get. I'm sure you'll find the words to tell your girls but I knwo how hard it will be. Wish I had some wisdom to share. Just want you to know we are with you.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen

    Thank you Kathleen

    Thank you Kathleen
  • This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625
    so sorry
    Pat,

    I'm so sorry to hear this. God be with you as you process this news and think of how to share the news with your family. I'm praying for you right now.

    Lisa
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111
    Wow
    Pat I am so sorry that you received the news you did. Just when you get ahead of this monster it roars its ugly head. Is this a new cancer or colon cancer that found a new home. A friend of ours has been diagnosed with bladder cancer a few months ago. So far he is receiving chemo, once every three weeks for a short period of time. Don't know how long. Then, his plan is to remove the bladder and create what is called a neo bladder out of his (I think) small intestine. There are some options out there other than another bag but if that is what you have to do then that is what you do. Just look at those girls of yours and do what you need to do. Take a deep breath, wait to tell your young girls until you have a game plan. If you are worried about the little ones, talk to someone on how to break it to them. Take care - Tina
  • CanadaSue
    CanadaSue Member Posts: 339
    kapper48 said:

    Hi Diane, thanks for your
    Hi Diane, thanks for your support, I am ok with the 3 older girls. Just worried about the 2 younger ones. I will have to check out the pigs bladder thing. I already have 1 bag and I don't think I could handle another one
    Pat

    So sorry to hear this news
    Pat,

    I am so sorry to hear this news! I know we were devastated when we were given the same news. My husband Bill now lives with the two bags, and he says it is a small price to pay for his life.

    Whatever they have to do to keep you going, I am sure you will be able to live with it.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!


    (((((HUGS))))

    Sue
  • snommintj
    snommintj Member Posts: 601
    geotina said:

    Wow
    Pat I am so sorry that you received the news you did. Just when you get ahead of this monster it roars its ugly head. Is this a new cancer or colon cancer that found a new home. A friend of ours has been diagnosed with bladder cancer a few months ago. So far he is receiving chemo, once every three weeks for a short period of time. Don't know how long. Then, his plan is to remove the bladder and create what is called a neo bladder out of his (I think) small intestine. There are some options out there other than another bag but if that is what you have to do then that is what you do. Just look at those girls of yours and do what you need to do. Take a deep breath, wait to tell your young girls until you have a game plan. If you are worried about the little ones, talk to someone on how to break it to them. Take care - Tina

    Bladder cancer
    My neighbor across the street had bladder cancer in the 70's. His returned a few years ago and they treated it successfully. He says the bladder can be treated easily and with good results. If this is the only place it has recurred you should be ok. I know more treatment wasn't on your agenda but once your through it you should be fine. Good luck
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030
    snommintj said:

    Bladder cancer
    My neighbor across the street had bladder cancer in the 70's. His returned a few years ago and they treated it successfully. He says the bladder can be treated easily and with good results. If this is the only place it has recurred you should be ok. I know more treatment wasn't on your agenda but once your through it you should be fine. Good luck

    Sorry to hear the news!
    Hope and prayers.....
  • ganders2
    ganders2 Member Posts: 13
    Bad news today
    Pat,
    I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Hearing that it is back is so horrible - I have stage IV with mets to the liver, and was NED for 7 months. 7 months surely does not seem very long.
    My kids are in their 20's and are both boys, so I don't have any experience with telling girls that age this kind of news, but please know my heart is with all of you. I would bet that they will respond with love and caring far beyond their years. Good luck and a big hug.
    Gini
  • just4Brooks
    just4Brooks Member Posts: 980
    kapper48 said:

    Hi Diane, thanks for your
    Hi Diane, thanks for your support, I am ok with the 3 older girls. Just worried about the 2 younger ones. I will have to check out the pigs bladder thing. I already have 1 bag and I don't think I could handle another one
    Pat

    Sorry to hear you news...
    Hi Pat, Sorry to hear your bad news. I think I would wait untill you get all the information for you onc before you talk with the girls. It's kind of hard to till them what's going on when you dont really know yet. Keep up the fight!!

    Brooks
  • luv3jay
    luv3jay Member Posts: 533
    I'm sorry to hear this news,
    I'm sorry to hear this news, Pat. It's really easy to be depressed at a time like this, but don't let it get the better of you. I'm sure the treatment your doctor has mapped out will do the trick...at least I'm praying it will. Hang in there.

    -Sheri
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576
    luv3jay said:

    I'm sorry to hear this news,
    I'm sorry to hear this news, Pat. It's really easy to be depressed at a time like this, but don't let it get the better of you. I'm sure the treatment your doctor has mapped out will do the trick...at least I'm praying it will. Hang in there.

    -Sheri

    Pat
    Pat sorry here too to hear your crappy news. Pat I have been around 3 times now...it's hard every time the beast comes back but it can be fought Pat....thoughts and hugs

    mags
  • luv3jay said:

    I'm sorry to hear this news,
    I'm sorry to hear this news, Pat. It's really easy to be depressed at a time like this, but don't let it get the better of you. I'm sure the treatment your doctor has mapped out will do the trick...at least I'm praying it will. Hang in there.

    -Sheri

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator