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Brother w/NPC IV losing it! HELP Hondo!

Posts: 35
Joined: Oct 2009

My 43 year old brother has been living the nightmare of recurrent Nasopharyngeal cancer since Jan. 2006. At this point, after continuous weekly chemo and re-irradiation, both the radiation oncologist and his regular onc have, within a month of each other, told him that they are disappointed in treatment progress and that he can opt to go ahead and stop for now. They pointed out that the decision is his, but see no use in pumping drugs in that are not causing any change. So, he quit.
So, since then he has really become dark and moody. He lives with my mother who has breast cancer IV w/ mets and she is very fragile and not dealing well with his attitude at all. It is making her sick. He snaps at his teenage kids, mom, doesn't talk to any one who calls for him, holes up in his room, is super defensive and generally just a jerk!
I think it is probably not necessary for me to go into any more details, because each of you probably had moments of this same kind of darkness and anger. I am asking for any feedback about this because it seems I am the only one who may be able to get through to him, mom is waiting for me, and I need your support!

Hondo's picture
Posts: 6643
Joined: Apr 2009


If you would like I am willing to call and talk to him, at this point he feels that there is no hope and he is in pain. Did the doctors say that they will try again in a month or did they tell him there is nothing more they can do, go home and make your peace? Does he have any faith in God?

If you would like for me to call him, I need to know what is the best time to call and where he lives, and his name.

my e-mail address is timhonmc@aol.com

I will keep him in my prayers

Scambuster's picture
Posts: 973
Joined: Nov 2009


Hondo is right, your Brother will be going through major anger issues now and terrible feelings of fear and may well be or will go into a depression.

I would recommend you get him to a Psychiatrist ASAP as he needs to understand how to process what is going on.

Talking to Hondo is also a 'very' good idea as he has been exactly in the same position so he understands and may be of great help.

As for treatments, it appears the doctors have hit their limits. You can seek further medical advice or seek alternative treatment advice. Again, Hondo is a good one to speak to about that.

While there are skeptics, you may choose to seek out other possible treatments rather than 'throw in the towel' but he will need help to get himself back into the fight to beat this horrible disease as soon as he can.

I wish you all the best.


Posts: 35
Joined: Oct 2009

I want to Thank You for your post and for being a compassionate man, willing to reach out to others like this. I am so grateful for your support. Hopefully I'll have brother hooked up on the phone with Hondo soon. Like I told Hondo, it will have to feel to Troy (bro) that he struck GOLD, when they do talk! The utter 'ALONE-NESS' he has experienced finally eased by someone who has walked in his shoes.......

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