Thank You

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melissaincali
melissaincali Member Posts: 34
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I have been reading the posts from you all today and wanted to send my thanks for thinking of me. I must admit to being in the darkest days of my life and wish more than anything that things were different. I did not see this coming. We were so prepared to fight for much longer. I am lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends who are literally doing everything possible to take everything off my plate: feeding me, taking care of my son, planning the memorial service, figuring out my financial life. Even in my darkest hours, our friends and family have made it possible to put one foot in front of the other. Actually, I am mostly curled up in bed, but I think that counts right now as keeping on.

I want to let you all know how much you have meant to me (and although I probably will not post much anymore), I have been completely changed and inspired by your courage and bravery and strength. My beliefs on who the true heroes are in this world has been entirely changed by this fight. I am in awe of those who fight this fight and the caregivers who fight alongside.

I will continue to check back and read any messages. I truly hope that no one else that I have come to care about on this board are in my position any time soon, but when I feel up to it I will post a few things I have learned in the past few days that I wish we would have discussed more. You always think you have more time and it is hard to prepare in case you don't.

The world has lost the most amazing man I have ever met and I am struggling to figure out how to continue living without him. It doesn't seem possible at the moment, but I know that I must. Thanks for your continued support and love.
Melissa

Comments

  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    #2
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    Dear Melissa
    Dear Melissa,
    This day came way to quickly for your beautiful family. I have thought of you and Will many times throughout the past few days. I grieve for you and also know you are surrounded by amazing love. I have read much on Brant's caring bridge site and I know you and Will were the light in his life. Thank you for taking the time to write. Please know that we truly care about you.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    #3
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    Melissa
    Melissa,

    I wish I could wrap my arms around you right now and comfort you. I'm glad to hear you have such a great support network of friends helping you with details and the day to day living that's so difficult for you right now- that's really worth a lot. I know that Brant must be in a better place but of course it's so hard that you're still here without him. You must and will go on, as you said. I'm sure that his memory will live on in the hearts of those that knew and loved him. Take care my dear- I am praying right now for strength and courage for you.

    Hugs to you dear soul-

    Lisa
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    #4
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    So very sorry...
    Melissa, my heart goes out to you, Will, your families and friends. I know this is going to be very hard, but you will make it through. If not for yourself, for Will. Wishing you better days filled with happy memories.

    God Bless,
    Diane
  • krf
    krf Member Posts: 98
    #5
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    Hi Melissa- I am so sorry
    Hi Melissa- I am so sorry for your loss and the loss to the world. It is obvious that Brant was a wonderful man. You and he are the reason I stopped lurking and started posting on this site. I know you will keep moving forward, at first for your beautiful boy, and someday, for yourself as well.
    Thank you so very much for sharing your story and sharing your thoughts. It has been a great help to me as I move forward caring for my husband with Stage IV and our three children.
    With love,
    Kim Fowler
  • KATE58
    KATE58 Member Posts: 299
    #6
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    krf said:

    Hi Melissa- I am so sorry
    Hi Melissa- I am so sorry for your loss and the loss to the world. It is obvious that Brant was a wonderful man. You and he are the reason I stopped lurking and started posting on this site. I know you will keep moving forward, at first for your beautiful boy, and someday, for yourself as well.
    Thank you so very much for sharing your story and sharing your thoughts. It has been a great help to me as I move forward caring for my husband with Stage IV and our three children.
    With love,
    Kim Fowler

    I am so sorry for your
    I am so sorry for your loss.
    You are in my prayers,
    and so is that sweet, beautiful little boy.

    God bless you and keep you safe
    kATE
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
    #7
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    krf said:

    Hi Melissa- I am so sorry
    Hi Melissa- I am so sorry for your loss and the loss to the world. It is obvious that Brant was a wonderful man. You and he are the reason I stopped lurking and started posting on this site. I know you will keep moving forward, at first for your beautiful boy, and someday, for yourself as well.
    Thank you so very much for sharing your story and sharing your thoughts. It has been a great help to me as I move forward caring for my husband with Stage IV and our three children.
    With love,
    Kim Fowler

    Melissa
    My heart and prayers goes out to you and your sweet William.
  • Patteee
    Patteee Member Posts: 945
    #8
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    ((((((((((melissa and
    ((((((((((melissa and will))))))))))))))
    I have been thinking about you guys so much this past week- have shed a few tears over Brant's death and a few swear words on how fricken unfair this all is. I just want to bite it, chew it up, burn it, beat it to a bloody pulp and crush every single cancer cell between my fingers like the nasty, unwelcome bug that it is. I hate what it does to us, to our families, to our children and in my case, my grandchildren. I hate what it robs us of, the toil it takes on all of us and the lights of life and living it seeks to take from us. Ok- now that I have had my rage moment :)

    We love you guys, we pray for God's comfort in such a dark time, we hold you close and dear to us and oh so wish we could do things and say things that will help. Brant lives on in Will and in your memories. My hope is those will help lighten your load, bring you a measure of peace and help you move forward. We will always be here for you and always surround you guys with support and love.
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #9
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    Melissa,
    You, Will & your
    Melissa,

    You, Will & your entire family have my deepest sympathies. It sounds like Brant was an amazing man & this turn of events seems so unfair. Please know that I am thinking of you and Will. Please take good care of yourself & Will & know that so many people care, many of whom you have never met. Thank-you for taking the time to post here during this difficult time. It sounds like you have a great support group, which will help (& it helps the people giving support too). You are in my thoughts.
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #10
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    Sorry
    I am so sorry for your loss. As you grieve and get past this most trying time in your life, please know that you are being thought of here from your "other family members". It's time to take care of yourself and your little one at this moment so that you both can go on. Remember here you are never alone. My heart aches for you. May God comfort you now and always.

    Kim
  • pf78248
    pf78248 Member Posts: 209
    #11
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    So very sorry for your loss

    Melissa,
    Words can't express how sorry I am for your loss. Your husband was a remarkable man and I am so grateful for your remarkable friends and family. May they bring you and your precious son comfort during these difficult days. My husband is battling stage 4 colorectal cancer and we have both kept up with you and your dear husband's caring bridge site. We are saddened his battle with cancer ended so soon. Please know there are many who have never met you that care for your family very much.

    Priscilla
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012
    #12
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    So sorry...
    Melissa,
    Thank you for taking the time to touch base here. Brant's death has come as a shock and great sorrow to this community. Many of us have followed his posts on the Caringbridge site and have identified with his journey. He had an incredible capacity to reflect on his experiences and relate them in a way that touched us all. We had all hoped that the outcome would have been better and the time longer...

    I am so sorry for your loss and wish you every blessing as you gather with friends and family to remember and celebrate Brant's life over the days ahead.

    Rob; in Vancouver
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893
    #13
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    robinvan said:

    So sorry...
    Melissa,
    Thank you for taking the time to touch base here. Brant's death has come as a shock and great sorrow to this community. Many of us have followed his posts on the Caringbridge site and have identified with his journey. He had an incredible capacity to reflect on his experiences and relate them in a way that touched us all. We had all hoped that the outcome would have been better and the time longer...

    I am so sorry for your loss and wish you every blessing as you gather with friends and family to remember and celebrate Brant's life over the days ahead.

    Rob; in Vancouver

    Hi Melissa,
    Hi Melissa,

    I am so sorry. This prayer has been a great comfort to me. I hope it will bring comfort to you too.

    Heavenly Father, we pray Thee to console those who are mourning the loss of dear ones. Help us to understand that the dead are not dead as long as their memories inspire us, the living, to acts of kindness, charity and love. The departed are not gone as long as their achievements urge us on to better living and finer thinking. May our faith in Thee, O Lord our God, never falter, even when we walk in the valley of the shadow of death. Enable us to find blessings even in sorrow. Guide us to use our time and opportunities wisely and nobly. Grant that our grief teach us to be more helpful and friendly to others. As we recall our dear ones, let us reaffirm our trust in Thee, O God. Thou art the source of Life. Thou art with us in sorrow as well as joy. Thou art our strength and comfort! Amen.

    Love,
    Lizzy
  • Kathryn_in_MN
    Kathryn_in_MN Member Posts: 1,252 Member
    #14
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    Melissa
    I am so glad you have such wonderful family and friends taking care of you right now. You were a great caregiver for Brant. Now it is time to let others take care of you while you heal. You've got some rough days ahead, but you will get through this. Will needs you - he is a gift to you from Brant and God, to help you through the days ahead.

    I pray that as each day passes you have less tears and more smiles, as you remember the time shared with Brant, and find peace and comfort knowing Brant is out of pain.
  • cowman
    cowman Member Posts: 61
    #15
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    Melissa and Will
    My sorrow is great for you. I read your post and was sitting here sobbing at the computer and my husband asked what was wrong. I told him the young guy with the beautiful wife and little boy had lost his fight. My thoughts are with you and your family. I am thankful you have good people to surround you. Life, and the ending of it, is so difficult to understand. I will be praying for you in the days to come.
    Diane
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #16
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    Praying for you
    Dear Melissa,

    I know that I was stunned at the shockingly fast turn of events. I had been following Brant's progress on caringbridge, and it seemed that he was doing well. I know that a wife is never prepared to lose her husband, but it turned so quickly, that I felt it really must have been (and will continue to be) difficult for you and Will.

    I'm glad you have such a wonderful, caring support group to help you through all this. I'm praying for you and Will.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • sfmarie
    sfmarie Member Posts: 602
    #17
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    I am so truly sorry for your loss
    I have been following with such closeness and prayers the fight your husband had with this horrible disease. Reading his caringbridge you knew the many lives he touched, what a great son, father and husband he was to his family. I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like for you Melissa. I do hope you can reach out to this board when you need comfort. You and your family are in my prayers. Marie
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    #18
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    sfmarie said:

    I am so truly sorry for your loss
    I have been following with such closeness and prayers the fight your husband had with this horrible disease. Reading his caringbridge you knew the many lives he touched, what a great son, father and husband he was to his family. I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like for you Melissa. I do hope you can reach out to this board when you need comfort. You and your family are in my prayers. Marie

    I am
    So Sorry


    michelle

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