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The nights are so hard,

pattynonews's picture
Posts: 176
Joined: Aug 2009

I seem to be able to get through the days but when the night comes I start missing Jack so much,I feel my emotions to overwhelm me, I just miss Jack and start crying, I just dont know how to start to move on, Im to the point that for the last 3 nights as soon as it gets dark I get stomach pain , not sure if it is just missing Jack so much or am I sick, but no matter what I eat i get sick, I felt so good today I went to church, watch a great movie, but now it is night time, I wish I could get interested in my crafts or something, but nothing gets my attention to get motivated, Does it get easier, any time soon, I feel like Im so alone

Posts: 54
Joined: Oct 2009

I understand exactly what you are saying. My husband passed on 11/24 and every night it is the same thing. I am unable to sleep in my bedroom because it was our room. I miss him so terribly and yes, every evening it is the same thing. I sit here and think of him and cry. But people tell me that it is okay to cry. I put up a Christmas tree yesterday because I promised my husband that I would, and the tears that were flowing as I decorated the tree, I'm surprised that I was able to finish it. It is so painful to sit here in the evening without him and wish that things could be different. But I told him also, that I would be okay and that I will go on. It is going to take a while, but sooner or later it will be easier to get up in the morning and function every day and then sit in the evening and just watch television without crying. I will miss my husband for the rest of my life and my heart will always be aching for him. But I have to believe that someday we will be together again and that might help me get through. All I can say is do as I do, take it a moment at a time and don't push yourself. It is okay to cry because your heart is aching and it has to heal.


pattynonews's picture
Posts: 176
Joined: Aug 2009

Yea I cry alot it has been just over a month, I sleep with Jacks picture and I burn incents at night for him ( he was a big time hippie , he was a drummer, ) so i keep the incents burning for him, and play his cd all the time, I miss him , I did not put up a tree this year it is just to hard, They say it gets easier, the only thing that has help me is reading the book Hello from Heaven and believing in signs that Jack is sending me, I was over looking now I let jack come to me, and ya might think Im crazy but he has, Im trying to stay strong,

Love patty

pipwe1's picture
Posts: 53
Joined: Oct 2009

the nights are definately the worse..... i lost my partner august 4th and i still have trouble at night. I did not put up the tree this year either... it was my birthday last thursday.... christmas is coming.... then a new year starts... i will be glad to see the back of 2009

keeping you in my prayers


angelsbaby's picture
Posts: 1171
Joined: May 2008

the nites are tough for me maybe thats why i am in bed at 6.30 or 7. the living room is hard for me because thats where angel wanted the hospice bed so staying in the living room is really hard for me, but it does get a little easier with time.


grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

The evenings are tough for me, too. It gets dark so early now. Because of my fibromyalgia, I take medicine to help me sleep so that hasn't been a problem. I do find myself going to bed later than I used to so I don't lay awake for long. Our power went out yesterday. I had been invited to a Christmas Coral Concert and almost missed it because I had trouble getting the garage door open.The little things! It was a very nice concert by a women's choir, and they had to do it all by flashlight and candlelight. I haven't put up a tree. Even seeing the one at church brought me to tears. I have bought presents. I've become quite the cyber shopper. Life does go on all around us. It's hard sometimes to see that. I am keeping all of us in my prayers. Take care of yourselves. Fay

Posts: 118
Joined: Oct 2009

The nights are also difficult for me. My doctor prescribed a sleeping pill, but even that will not kick in for 4 hours. I read and read to try and make myself sleep, but then I look over at Mike's pillow and get really upset. Sometimes, I think he is just using the restroom and then I remember that he is gone - then I start to think that he will NEVER be here - then I get REALLY upset. Some nights I get on this site and that helps. Also have 4 dogs that sleep with me. They seem to know when I am having a bad night and curl up by me - giving me lots of "slobbery" dog kisses. Fay, I know what you mean by the little things. I plugged in the Christmas tree tonight and the lights blew out. I could not figure out what had happened. Finally discovered a fuse had been blown and replaced it using an old strand of lights fuse. This whole episode normally would not have been a big deal, but it just reminded me that Mike is not there to help me anymore (he was a construction engineer and took care of all this kind of stuff). I wish everyone some peace during this holiday season and will pray for this~Cheryl

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